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Posts: 132

Governor

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Q: Do you think that you'd be happier in your own country?

I've been thinking about this... I have been getting very frustrated with my boss, with certain aspects of living here, the crowds, the pollution etc. 

 

But I realised that I'm also just not where I want to be in my life, so I think I'd feel the same way back home. 

 

Many of you guys seem more settled or older or at least quite sorted. So do you think that you would be happier or your life would be better if you lived in the US or Europe or wherever you're from?

 

 

9 years 6 weeks ago in  Food  - China

 
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Shifu

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I would argue hands down that my country is an objectively better place than China but I don't know if I'd be happier there - my time in China has been the best of my life not because of the place but because of the personal transformation I've undergone here. I am planning to move back home in the next couple of years and I am cautiously optimistic that I will restart life there and continue moving forward. Living in China has been a lesson that a person's outlook and disposition have a lot more to do with happiness than a person's objective circumstances. Despite all of the things that are objectively awful, I've been happy or at least content here for the entirety of my stay. I couldn't say the same about my former life despite having the privileges of a top notch education and an upper middle class upbringing. Again, it's all due to highly personal factors and my outlook on life rather than the objective qualities of the place. 

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9 years 6 weeks ago
 
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Posts: 548

Shifu

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If I thought I would be happier and have a better life back in America, I would go back. No one is here as a prisoner. We all have the option to return home anytime we want.

For me, I love China. That is not saying that I love everything about China. But, everyday offers me a new challenge, a new perspective, a new experience, and a continued adventure I have chosen to take on. Sure. I get frustrated and angry with things. Usually I am a guy who sees things with a glass that is not just half full, but that is overflowing. When things begin to get to me, I do a few things to readjust my attitude:

1. TIC: I just remind myself that this is China. Not America.
2. I think about all the chaos that is happening in American politics and social situations. I love my country. But, I am not a fan of many things my country is doing right now.
3. I take time and try to research the culture and traditions of China to try to understand why they do and say things. This has helped me more than anything.

Finally, I think about working a 50 hour work week for a salary that gets stretched thin by salary deductions and higher costs of living. A job that allows me only a week or two for vacation. A job, that requires me to answer to some jerk in a suit. In China, I get to work 20 hours a week with large amounts of holiday time off. I can live here on a fraction of what it would cost me in the USA. And, I have been able to pay off my debts and save so much money, it is almost laughable, compared to what I could in the USA. I also get to be my own boss pretty much. Yes, I work for a school and a company. But, they pretty much let me do what I want in my teaching.

At my age, I am now beginning to think about retirement things. I really can not see myself retiring back int he USA. I see myself in South America or Asia in my retirement years. Granted...that is 20 years or so down the road. I just have no desire to return to the USA right now. I lived there for over 45 years. I have see most of my country through travel and work. Becoming an ESL teacher has opened up the world to me and the opportunities are just too good to not take advantage of them.

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9 years 6 weeks ago
 
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Emperor

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I'm not sure about it, but I will give it a go in a few weeks ^^ I'm in my early 30's, but I have been in Asia for 6 years with no real stops and very few escapes. I used to feel like you ("I would feel the same at home, there's no real place I wish to be"), until I came back home for a short family visit, after 4 years away. What an enjoyable surprise ! Home had all the things I now dream of : blue skies, easy to get out for long walks in pristine nature, quality housing, food safety, better social climate, good place to raise a family.

 

Long term, I would be ok and happy to settle down far from my home country, but definitely not China.

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9 years 6 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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Staying in China forever is not an option. I've lived there for four years and am currently back in the UK for the Spring Festival. If I didnt have my other half and.my dog still in China then believe me I would not be going back. We are leaving together in summer to live in a country with clean air, nutritious food, where people shit in toilets not streets and have basic manners and common decency that the Chinese lack. Those ignorant f**kers that say "you just don't understand China" can keep the dirty, poisonous place. I had some good times there but they are well and truly over. Fond memories are more desirable than the various forms of cancer and gut wrenching bacteria's we are exposed to on a daily basis due to people either being incompetent or just not caring. I've well and truly had enough. Fair play to anyone who wants to stay, but in direct answer to your question, yes. You will be just as happy at home if not more so. I'm doing a PGCE when I get back so I can start a real career here and that's the difference, a lot of expats who stay just don't know what else to do, if you do, then go. Good luck in what you decide Smile

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9 years 6 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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Staying in China forever is not an option. I've lived there for four years and am currently back in the UK for the Spring Festival. If I didnt have my other half and.my dog still in China then believe me I would not be going back. We are leaving together in summer to live in a country with clean air, nutritious food, where people shit in toilets not streets and have basic manners and common decency that the Chinese lack. Those ignorant f**kers that say "you just don't understand China" can keep the dirty, poisonous place. I had some good times there but they are well and truly over. Fond memories are more desirable than the various forms of cancer and gut wrenching bacteria's we are exposed to on a daily basis due to people either being incompetent or just not caring. I've well and truly had enough. Fair play to anyone who wants to stay, but in direct answer to your question, yes. You will be just as happy at home if not more so. I'm doing a PGCE when I get back so I can start a real career here and that's the difference, a lot of expats who stay just don't know what else to do, if you do, then go. Good luck in what you decide Smile

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9 years 6 weeks ago
 
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Yes, Hunana, this is an excellent question.  I shall ponder it.

Thanks.

 

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9 years 6 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1098

Shifu

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I would argue hands down that my country is an objectively better place than China but I don't know if I'd be happier there - my time in China has been the best of my life not because of the place but because of the personal transformation I've undergone here. I am planning to move back home in the next couple of years and I am cautiously optimistic that I will restart life there and continue moving forward. Living in China has been a lesson that a person's outlook and disposition have a lot more to do with happiness than a person's objective circumstances. Despite all of the things that are objectively awful, I've been happy or at least content here for the entirety of my stay. I couldn't say the same about my former life despite having the privileges of a top notch education and an upper middle class upbringing. Again, it's all due to highly personal factors and my outlook on life rather than the objective qualities of the place. 

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9 years 6 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1098

Shifu

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I would argue hands down that my country is an objectively better place than China but I don't know if I'd be happier there - my time in China has been the best of my life not because of the place but because of the personal transformation I've undergone here. I am planning to move back home in the next couple of years and I am cautiously optimistic that I will restart life there and continue moving forward. Living in China has been a lesson that a person's outlook and disposition have a lot more to do with happiness than a person's objective circumstances. Despite all of the things that are objectively awful, I've been happy or at least content here for the entirety of my stay. I couldn't say the same about my former life despite having the privileges of a top notch education and an upper middle class upbringing. Again, it's all due to highly personal factors and my outlook on life rather than the objective qualities of the place. 

Spiderboenz:

Down vote for double post.

9 years 6 weeks ago
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9 years 6 weeks ago
 
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Emperor

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Nope! The pollution and food and stuff doesnt bother me much. I just hate the ignorant dumb people. This place has turned me pretty racist.

But i have gotten settled in. I know how and where to live comfortably here and adjusting for the higher costs of living I am guessing i would need to earn about 150K in order to have the same quality of life back home. So unless anyone has any offers?? Im not even thinking about it.

If and when an opportunity arises ill think it over.

sorrel:

thumbs-up for honesty as usual

it annoys me when people say: "I'm not racist but............"

 

EVERYONE is racist to some degree. 

9 years 6 weeks ago
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laowaigentleman:

You hate ignorant and dumb people? There is a word in the psychology handbook which you can memorize and possibly spell correctly in the future: masochism.

9 years 6 weeks ago
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Lord_hanson:

I've gotta agree with Mike here. After a while you find a way to live a very comfortable life for a lot less than in the west. Unless you are returning to a high end job there is no point. Like everywhere in the world you live a better life when you are well off. China's version of well off is easier to attain.

9 years 6 weeks ago
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9 years 6 weeks ago
 
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I wouldn't earn as much money back home so probably not, but easy money and my sweet girlfriend are really the only reasons why I am still in China.

 

I never blew off and start punching them but the people here are incredibly ignorant and stupid while also being extremely arrogant and full of themselves, all the while having weak egos based on national pride and not what they achieved as individuals, "I'm a lazy useless wanker but China is becoming richer (no thanks to me) so I take personal pride from it and fuck those foreigners".

 

As Mike said China is turning racist, people used to be more friendly and open minded, now they see the window of opportunities closing so it's a death race to reach the highest they can in the social ladder before it stops working and too bad if there are collateral damages. Also the national myth (e.g. longest civilization ever, that's Iran in fact) encouraged by the government and the state-run medias doesn't help.

 

The pollution on comparison doesn't bother me, Foshan is quite okay on that side compared to other cities around (Guangzhou and its smoggy skies).

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9 years 6 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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Dunno, I do miss my family, and the quality of life is much higher "back home". On the other hand, back home has it own set of problems and annoying features and I'm not super keen on going to my home country, but I'm even less keen on staying in China long term. Maybe some 3rd country in the West?

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9 years 6 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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It depends on your goals, on what you want to accomplish in your life. It's easier to save money here than in the States I think, even if you're only making about a little > or = $3000 a month like I am, maybe because the typical foreigner doesn't pay for car payment, gas, etc. It's a reality that basic necessities, although the cost is rising, such as groceries, healthcare, public transport, non-designer clothes, etc. is very cheap even if the quality of these goods and services is questionable. Of course foreign food and vices will quickly add to the costs, but if you can live "like a Chinese," if it doesn't kill you, you could save a ton. But practicalities, economy etc. aside, especially if you don't have kids or a spouse or commitments, why limit yourself? I doubt even if you were completely proficient in Chinese and very well-adjusted and skilled at your profession you could further your career really that much living in China, unless you were first placed here by your forei-gn company. The only people I know who tend to stay here very long-term, like 7-10 years or more, were placed here by big enterprises in their home countries or choose to settle because they are having kids (maybe trapped by Chinese spouses as well, who knows). Very few waiguo ren (sp?) with more than half a brain actually genuinely love this country so much they want to stay, I think, unless they just want to get laid easily off Weibo or sell drugs  and things like that. Go where your career and life will grow the best and you see the most opportunities, don't sell yourself short just for the sake of settling down somewhere. I am comfortable living here as a teacher for now, for example, but know that I will sooner rather than later have to face the difficult task of moving on and studying more at a university back home, not only just to get more money and have a better career potentially, but to improve myself as a person and add to my credentials and education. I'm not a perfect person or a perfect example of anything, but I'm just saying, for what it's worth I suggest that while and if you are able, aim higher than you think you can and you will be OK. Use your common sense even if everyone around you doesn't seem to have it and don't let anyone trap you somewhere where you have even a shadow of a doubt regarding why you are there. 

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9 years 6 weeks ago
 
Posts: 916

Shifu

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China is not the place I want to be for a long time. I've been here since 2011 and seen how good and bad it can be...more bad than good. Sure, cost of living is peanuts compared to Singapore but the quality of life sucks. Everyone wants to be ahead, even for a seat on the bus. Everyone is afraid to lose out. I'm Chinese, my parents were from Guangdong originally but migrated to Singapore. I gave up a life in Singapore to come here because I'm sick of the government back home. Coming here, it's no different. So perhaps I will stay one more year and go somewhere else, Thailand perhaps or maybe the Philippines. Cross the bridge when I come to it.

DrMonkey:

You were gone for a while, great to see you back :)

9 years 6 weeks ago
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Sinobear:

Ditto

9 years 6 weeks ago
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louischuahm:

Dr M@, Sino@...yup, been working my butt off the last few months putting in 15 hour days and weekends. Just got a break for CNY and then it's back to the hellhole on 23rd. How are you guys spending the holidays? I'm holed up here in Chongqing with nothing to do. 

9 years 6 weeks ago
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9 years 6 weeks ago
 
Posts: 8

Governor

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China / Asia is interesting ... for some it will be interesting for a long time, for some in a few months it becomes a pain.. as soon as it stops being interesting I think its time to go, time to leave ... unless your hands are tied up with kids to raise, bills to pay and you are making good money then stay a little more .. but with a plan

thats my opinion ...IMO  Smile

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9 years 6 weeks ago
 
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