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anonymous
Q: Does China Turn You Into a Jerk?
as long as you dont behave like the average chinese, everything is ok. The society here accepts you and that is. But if u start to act more like locals, you suddenly become the white trash, the guy without "suzhi" (education?)..but sometimes is the only way to survive?...
no.
I maintain my patience and courtesy, as i would at home.
Just because i am living and working in a foreign country, doesn't mean I change my behaviour just to 'fit in'.
No, but I've accepted solitude and don't require the emotions or attention of others now, its an art that takes a lot to learn... my family (wife, daughter and son) are my only love in life.
I was pretty much a jerk when I got here, if anything the challenges of living in China have made me more patient and harder working in my attempts at understanding others.
ironman510:
I agree, its definitely an eye opener here, I can never look at the world the same again..
wuweizea:
Yep same for me. I thought I was a big jerk, then I got here and realized I have a lot to learn before I can compete with the average Wang.
In some cases it has made me a jerk. In others it has made me a better person. Patience was not one of my strong points. Here I have learned to be patient. Something I am proud of. I have also become more tolerant of staring people. I like the big smile on the faces of people when I say hi to them.
I think it is just people who are jerks, and not accepted back home end up in China, where they are accepted.
A jerk is a jerk is a jerk.
Here, it's easier to excuse it, to rationalize it away.
What's the difference between a man who is loyal to his gf in his home country, but cheats on his gf in china? Did China make him a womanizer? NO, and if he coukd have gotten away with it in his hone country he would do it too.
Possibly.
I know I'm less tolerant of institutionalised BS here than back home. However, for the most part, I can see the logic of why something is done the way it is back home - there is logic and reason. here, BS occurs because some wanker needed to express his power and control!
You know what I mean - banks.. visas... anything government related... (I need to send money back home. I'm on a tourist visa - so I can't show a bank my work contract, tax certificates, labour permits, etc etc...!)
Basically, I don't accept "no why".
If u hate this country so much,Y r u still here?
DrMonkey:
Ha, the good old question "If you don't like it here, why don't you leave ?" Well, because some people come in China not knowing all about the potential issues. Staying in China for a few weeks, it looks fine. Stay 6 months, and things look *very* different. But you signed a contract and it's too late, gotta finish what you started. Some people are in situations where they don't want to destroy what they have : a husband or a wife who's not yet ready to move abroad (learning the language, getting accustomed to the differences, passing some degrees), or a career to develop, etc. So they will leave, but for at least a few years are stuck here, unwilling to burn boats.
I try to maintain a dignified level of patience and understanding while in China. I will say, however, that China has the kind of culture where, if you are not prepared to be a jerk from time to time, people will walk all over you...so I am occasionally quite blunt and domineering as a part of having a backbone. If you are going to march straight to the front of the line when I have been waiting patiently for five minutes, I will call you out on your shit manners, if you think that 2 in the morning is a good time to play on your keyboard with the volume turned up, I will pound on your door until you answer to inform you otherwise. I scarcely had to do these things before I came to China, and now I find myself in these confrontations all the time
I try to maintain a dignified level of patience and understanding while in China. I will say, however, that China has the kind of culture where, if you are not prepared to be a jerk from time to time, people will walk all over you...so I am occasionally quite blunt and domineering as a part of having a backbone. If you are going to march straight to the front of the line when I have been waiting patiently for five minutes, I will call you out on your shit manners, if you think that 2 in the morning is a good time to play on your keyboard with the volume turned up, I will pound on your door until you answer to inform you otherwise. I scarcely had to do these things before I came to China, and now I find myself in these confrontations all the time
I try to be patient and kind. I've also learned to forget about things.
The Chinese like doing stuff at the last minute. So a solution for me to standing in line or getting in the middle of crowds is to go early in the morning or get stuff before hand.
Yes, I think so. One of the reasons I came here was to give some of my extra income to the local poor. After a few weeks, I learned the truth about the poor here. Now I find myself looking the other way when a beggar approaches, something I'd never done before.
I've also found myself becoming more assertive, flatly telling people that I will not buy what they are selling. Belittling drivers under my breath while I'm driving through town is another habit I've picked up.
Those things can't be steps toward being a nicer person, so...
You have to say no and criticise more here being polite too much just gets you walked all over.
