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Q: Girlfriend family doesn't want my name on the house.

I'm American and My girlfriend is Chinese. We are planning to buy a house in a first tier city. Her family will contribute more on the downpayment by selling one of their other houses (3.5M RMB). My family and I pulled together 1M RMB total in cash. Our down payment would be about 4.5M RMB for the house, and I will pay off the mortgage.

BUT the problem is my girlfriend's mom don't want to put my name on the house. I'm not even looking for a 50/50 split. Just the percentage I put down as down payment which is 1.5/4.5 = 33%. When I ask her why her mom don't want to put my name down on the house, they are saying the "Girl's side is paying more," "It's a promise to show my family that you're committed to marry me"

What do you guys think? I feel like my name should be on the house deed since my family is contributing to it as well.

Thanks for your answers guys.

14 weeks 22 hours ago in  Housing - China

 
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Emperor

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I've been through this already.

 

There is no depends or if and returns.

 

Facts first, if your name is on it, than it can't be rented.

 

Next, please think man, Chinese make perfect loving GF's but after marriage they change and they will change, who has had a lasting marriage? Not many and I'm referring to those like us that are married to a Chinese..

 

If you get a divorce there is no way the judge (If you can afford one) or her will give you any portion of that house. She is not required to give you a cent. You lose it all man.

 

PM for a private chat. Please I'm begging you don't do it. If your name can't go on it, than don't do it, its one of those choices you'll wish you'd take back. I know the feeling you have now, "Shes great, I trust her, I'll make it work." But in reality that won't happen, this topic will come up and fights will start and you'll leave her if she started to use the house as blackmail.

 

I say this with the Lord in my heart, don't do it!

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14 weeks 17 hours ago
 
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Posts: 2778

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It's pretty routine for the wife's name to be on the ownership book. As a foreigner, if you pay the total price in one lump sum, your name will go on the ownership book. To add your name isn't as simple as it sounds.

I paid lump sum and we had no problem adding her name to the book at the time. A mate of mine went through a bureaucratic nightmare to have his name put on the book due to the mortgage.

As always, the rules will vary from place to place. But at the end of the day, the wife's family want it in her name as a safety net in case of divorce or other issues such as your premature death. She will get the whole house without squabbling over it with your family.

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14 weeks 19 hours ago
 
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Depends on the bank that does the mortgage, but it may be that they're only allowed to put a Chinese name on it. If you put your name on the mortgage you may have to do the mortgage through another bank, and sometimes the mortgage for a specific apartment is connected to a specific bank. But judging from your post, sounds like your gf's mom is just being a dick. 

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14 weeks 18 hours ago
 
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I've been through this already.

 

There is no depends or if and returns.

 

Facts first, if your name is on it, than it can't be rented.

 

Next, please think man, Chinese make perfect loving GF's but after marriage they change and they will change, who has had a lasting marriage? Not many and I'm referring to those like us that are married to a Chinese..

 

If you get a divorce there is no way the judge (If you can afford one) or her will give you any portion of that house. She is not required to give you a cent. You lose it all man.

 

PM for a private chat. Please I'm begging you don't do it. If your name can't go on it, than don't do it, its one of those choices you'll wish you'd take back. I know the feeling you have now, "Shes great, I trust her, I'll make it work." But in reality that won't happen, this topic will come up and fights will start and you'll leave her if she started to use the house as blackmail.

 

I say this with the Lord in my heart, don't do it!

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14 weeks 17 hours ago
 
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I have a few friends who got married and had a similar thing happen. The families insisted there will be a house bought by the husband and it will be in the wife's name, for her 'security'.

 

They basically just shrugged their shoulders and looked at it as another wedding cost. You don't get married intending it not to work and if it does fail then you write off your share in the house. One guy floated the idea of a prenup for when they ended up living in his country - mostly because he was getting pissed off at the in-law's insinuations. It didn't go down well at all, these things only work one way it seems.

 

What would be harder to write off if the marriage goes to shit though is children, if and when you have them. That's what I'd be worried about.

 

 

 

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14 weeks 15 hours ago
 
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Governor

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If you married her and then buy the house, then it doesn't even matter whose name is put on there, if you divorce, each of you will get half of the property. But, if you buy the house together first, and only put her name on it, it will be her property, because you give up your right of the house. And later when you are married, even if you pay the morgage, that money you earn will the money for both of you, so even if you are the only person paying for the morgage, and pay the same amount as she did before, she'll have the house, you'll have a half for the amount you pay after marriage.

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14 weeks 14 hours ago
 
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Ironman, Wolf, Stiggs, and Sponge all have good points to consider, but you'll serve your own interests best by going to see a Chinese lawyer that specializes in these matters.  Hire yourself a professional interpreter if you can't speak fluently in the same language as the lawyer.  The laws and practices in your location may vary from what is described by the other users. You owe it to yourself and your family to know exactly what your rights and potential loses will be if your relationship with your girlfriend (or wife) sours at some future point.  Asking for advice about a 1+ million RMB legal/financial situation is something that should be left to the professionals to answer.  Spend a few thousand RMB to get reliable information for that kind of a financial commitment.  What you decide to do after that is more or less up to you.  Best of luck.

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14 weeks 3 hours ago
 
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Worst case scenario: you buy the house in her name tomorrow and the rest of her inlaws move in. You two get in a big fight. your relationship dissappears. so does your money. That happens in real life. Get real. She is your girlfriend, not your wife at this point. Money is one of those things that "make the world go round". Your marraige could sour immediatly after your marraige too. Again, you lose. If I read this correctly it is 33% of the downpayment that is yours and your family's. Is your family ok with that? My family sure wouldn't be. $170.000 US is still a ot of money to lose. You did say your family? But over time you are paying. You didn't say anything about the total price of the home. So in the end, half the house is yours would be yours. Housing prices increase. Governments change regulations. Interest rates go up and down. Personally I also would have trouble with the excuse: "It's a promise to show my family that you're committed to marry me". Marry first, then buy. But get both your names on that book. I'd go along with Jean P. Advice.

On the other hand:  Her family stands to lose a million RMB if your name is on that book before you marry. The purchase would be more of a financial investment that went wrong. In this case you would get the million.

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13 weeks 6 days ago
 
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Don't pay a damn thing without your name on the house, they can get a mortgage for the difference and you agree with a signed lease to pay 2 years in advance rent to them to show your not going to leave her and agree to pay for the decorations for the house up to a  fixed limit. If they have a problem with the agreement, let them know as a foreigner you can be screwed out of your equity no matter how much you pay and you can never have the rights or citizenship no matter how long you live here and you want all rent payments to go toward paying off the mortgage and future kids education fund and you don't want anything. If they flinch, just say you were not aware that they were selling the daughter to a foreigner instead of marrying a foreingner. My interest is in my daughters name because I don't want anything in this country.

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13 weeks 6 days ago
 
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Minor Official

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My wife and I have two apartments. Her family is one of those families that gave up their land to the government and received paperwork that stated that each person in the family would receive a discount on an apartment when the area is developed, When I came to China we got married and her parents made us use this paperwork to our advantage as the government developed the area. We got a two bedroom apartment at first. I paid for everything on the first apartment. We are talking about a two bedroom apartment on the twenty six floor (I had to pay more because the apartment is on the twenty six floor) with a storeroom and basement parking which I had to obviously pay extra for. We are currently separated and plan on getting divorced soon. Guess what. I have not claim on the first apartment that was purchased as it is in her father's name. I can only hope that he does right by me and returns all my money back to me.  I completely agree with Ironman510. I was fortunate enough to have my name on our second apartment. Chinese law states that I am fully entitled to half of the second apartment. I still pay the morgadge on that apartment but the soon to be ex wife thinks that I am entitled to nothing. If I had known then what I know today then I would not have invested any money in Chinese property and that's not because I am getting devorced. Buying property in China is not the same as buying property in your own country. In you own country the property becomes yours and you can pass it on to your children and they can pass it onto their children in the years to come. In China you are basically renting the property for 99 years and then it is all goes back to the state again. Rather rent an apartment together and invest the money in property in another country. Rent the property that you and your partner purchased in another country out and use the rent money that is made from that property to pay your rent. Remember that you are a foreigner in this country called China. You simply have no rights as a foreigner. Even in a case of road rage. You are always going to be the person that is at fault and you are always going to be made to appologize because you are a foreigner. If you do not appologize then the police will threaten to lock you up. Everyone here has gaunxi or connections. Don't get me wrong. I love China and the people but everyday I wake up and say that prayer. "God, please help me to accept the things that I can not change".

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13 weeks 6 days ago
 
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Don't get married till they add your name on it. You gotta protect yourself.
You never know if the marriage will be lasting but you will get old.
I'll do a prenut when I am going to get married for protecting my hard earned money from business. Things can get ugly and couples may fight in the court one day.

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13 weeks 6 days ago
 
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Your story makes no sense. Either buy the house outright yourself (100% you) and put your and only your name on it or make plans to settle elssewhere if you can't afford it. 

If the family wants to tell you what to do in your marriage, walk.  

People have trouble with inlaws because they choose the wrong woman tto marry.

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13 weeks 5 days ago
 
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Governor

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The fact that you even ask is a bit scary. Just because it is the done thing in China doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.You say your family helped you come up with the money. That means you are risking their money too. have you asked them about this. Back home this would be crazy and something you would never do. What makes it different here. You would never get over losing a large sum of money. There is deep emotion attached to it. Don't be a fool, if she doesn't ;et you put your name on the house, leave her

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13 weeks 3 days ago
 
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