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Q: Have you mastered the squat yet?
It took over two years for me to do it without killing my knees, and now after almost four years, I can finally squat without falling over. I feel like I can do anything now. It's an awesome feeling.
You only truly master the squat when you can squat, do your business, while holding a lit cigarette in one hand, and shouting into a phone held in your other hand. Oh, and make sure to leave the door open, so as to truly impress everyone.
I'm one of the best if you mean squatting with a barbell in the gym! That doesn't translate to the pooper at all though. There's a few additional skills and some other knowledge you've gotta have to make it all work together - like figuring out the consistency of your dump prior to letting it out. Is it liquid or a dry black log? That can be crucial to preventing yourself from spraying liquid shit from the chinese food last night all over your pants. I'm too scared to even try. I've seen bathroom walls caked in dry diaharra spray that I am not even rave enough to go in a chinese bathroom anymore. I either do it before I leave or find a Starbucks.
I do my best to avoid the opportunity to use a squat toilet.
but shit happens
I am quite confident I can squat and do my thing and emerge clean and happy with my accomplishment.
It is kind of funny, cause I still do feel pretty much like a smart ass after doing it.....LIKE BIG DEAL .... 3 years here and still proud of going to the toilet without making a mess.
Sorry dude...gotta pull rank.
http://answers.echinacities.com/question/have-you-learned-master-squat
royceH:
i made an error. My comment to you appears in an answer below.
My effort at attaching a link was my first. I think I've managed to pull it off.
Yep, I can squat and release my stuff anywhere from hole in the ground to middle of the mall, next step in the airplane's alleyway when I head back home. I am a true Chinese now 
I graduated in squat toilet pooping, pretty much. No matter where I am on the Bristol Stool Chart, I manage a slam dunk in a minute. I learned very young, because I started being expat in the places with squat toilets about at the same age kids go to toilet on their own. Being vegetarian helps too, no constipation problems.
ScotsAlan:
So...I ahould allow my MIL to squat my daughter in the street to dump a load? Honest question. Will the freedom benefit my daughter? I am starting to think emptying children on the street is ok.
Nice try, Dude! However...bad luck!
http://answers.echinacities.com/question/4-years-coming-and-still-havent...
Now I'm almost at 5 years and I still haven't faced this particular nightmare. AND I NEVER WILL!
Stiggs:
5 Years ! I wish I could say the same mate, when I first arrived I had the gut from hell. A few times I was lucky to even make it to a squatter, never mind a sitdown throne.
thedude:
Not sure what you mean Royce.
I was just pointing out I asked the exact same question 2 years ago.
No problem with squatting. Used to go to lots of free festivals in my youth & a key tool for them was a fold-up spade to dig a shit-hole in the ground!
Only issue I do have is its difficult to read while squatting & very risky if doing it on your phone - one slip & it's in the poop! My wife made this mistake one day with her iPhone! That was an expensive penny that day
Stiggs:
Haha, you got to remember to take your phone and keys out of your pocket too for the same reason.
Iphone?
Loads of hitchhiking and living outdoors made me squat often at younger age. Main thing is/was when you squat outdoors it's recommended you're on the 'top of the hill', so everything falls out of your body rolls down-hill.
We could establish 'Laowai Squat Club' 
...in the future.
You only truly master the squat when you can squat, do your business, while holding a lit cigarette in one hand, and shouting into a phone held in your other hand. Oh, and make sure to leave the door open, so as to truly impress everyone.
When I first started using squatters I'd always be too far forward and almost miss the hole when I dropped my load. This would leave a very unpleasant stain but at least I never actually missed the toilet (that would be pretty hard to do actually). I've since become competent enough but hardly a master. In fact, I've only used a squatter 2 or 3 times in the past year. I try to be as regular as possible.
I do not think too many caucasian men can squat. Some caucasian women can squat. I think the Chinese have developed this skill from years of squatting to do their business?
I usually keep a hand either leaning on something, or free to save me from losing balance. Squatting taxes the knee joints heavily, and stretches leg muscles. If you're born into a culture that still uses toadstool seats and tiny tables into adulthood, then your joints and muscles will have adapted to the task you frequently set for them. It won't be uncomfartable in the slightest. It's not a racial thing - black and white people could do it just as well, but few have grown up with these habits. A body that matures into adulthood loses abilities you don't utilize, and retains (and becomes good at) things you do regularly. It can be considered an advantage Asian cultures hold over us: they can make their heels and buttocks into a makeshift stool anywhere they stand, while we need to find something to sit on, and hope it's clean. I do wonder if this muscle/joint adaptation might be related to many Asian country's poor sports performance. Naturally, we can do thinks they don't use/do regularly, too. That K wasn't a typo 
Yes but only through necessity...I'll tell you a story.
One night a couple of years ago I went out with the GF and her girlfriends.
Started out with street food...then a local street side Guangdong restaurant where we started drinking and ate. Next up the local family friendly version KTV...then about 3am when we had just sat down after our drinking for a meal at another street side restaurant...the street food from earlier wanted out....and fast.
In my half drunken state I made a calculated decision to bypass the squatter at the restaurant as I had used it before to piss...but was terrified to crap in it (filthy does not do it justice). I run around the corner to the hotel I had stayed in before, the best toilet and hotel in town.
By time time I got to the lobby it was coming out no matter what but the toilet was in the back of the giant lobby. As I pushed open the door to the washroom...it came...golf ball sized chunk of semi liquid shit. I managed to get in a stall and whip down my pants as I flew backwards onto the seat to release the rest......man that was some dirty street food.
I threw away the underwear (damage was contained to only the undergarment)...and headed back to the restaurant and the girls vowing to never make such a mistake again.
This is why I am now a master of the squat and always carny tissue.
coineineagh:
Tissue wouldn't have saved you. tissue is a paper thin defense against the "enemy within" on its way out. It will breach your defensive tissues as if they were wet paper towels.
Simple answer is no. I am a large, older man, Squatting is just not in my legs any more I guess. I have to brace myself against something. I hold it as long as I can. But, sometimes nature does not give me this opportunity. I am always afraid I am going to do my business on or in my open pants. I just can not get the balance. Oh, and trying to use a pooper on a moving train...nightmares about the experience will last me a lifetime.
ScotsAlan:
Agree about squaters on the train. I pity the railroad workers.
