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Q: How about if I meet a guy in a bar?
What if I go to find a foreign boyfriend in the bar,are guys in the bars are trustable?
11 years 48 weeks ago in Relationships - China
Just turn around and run as fast as you can. Well if he is offering to buy you a drink take the drink first and then run as fast as you can in the opposite direction. I've known lots of guys that are after one thing and it won't last too long probably one night!
Victoria1987:
Okay,I will take his drink first then run,wont run first without taking a drink
Just walk up to any guy and say, '' Is that an iPhone in your pocket or are you glad to see me?''
sweety, sweety sweety, sweety, sweety. you are so cute i could kiss you. any guy you meet, anywhere is a possible jerk. (chinese or foreigner) get to know them carefully over time. do not go to their home unless you plan on having sex. (chinese girls do not have the defenses to repel romantic advances) women here are easy to seduce because the local men here are pathetic, so the women have never seen gentle romantic behavior and fall prey to it easily. massages, caress the lower back, kissing the ear lobe, back of the ear, you think of these areas as safe areas, but the truth is gently kissing these areas will make you want sex more than me. i'm half asleep i lost my train of thought. i hope you understand. At times i am a shark and china is a feeding frenzy. bit of advice, stop generalizing, stop thinking in absolutes, develop a circle of good foreign male friends that you can talk to openly. and make sure they are not trying to get in your pants. (same rules, do not go to their home unless you want sex) they should probably be older men because a lot of younger men (foreigners) know nothing about romancing or seducing a woman.
protect your heart, if a guy starts off buying you gifts accept the gifts but never give him serious consideration. i'm rambling becuase i'm sleepy and cant sleep.
crimochina:
my point is learn how different types of men think. this will help you understand their behavioral patterns
Hakupatasa:
I don't think crimo, she will even read your post completely or others which is longer than few lines. Even if she tries to read it, she will get lost in the middle and will return to her own world where she seems desperate to get someone asap.
Sorry mate! I don't mean your suggestions are bad. It is well said but seeing what she has been asking, how she is writing or replying repeatedly, gives a feeling that she has already set a goal of getting a foreign man or run to west. She is simply not ready to hear some good suggestions.
Victoria1987:
Hakupatasa,how can you judge me so easily?You never kown me,who cares about your fucking west?China is not a bad place,I have good job,fancy life,if one day I move to west,just for the man I love,who care the things in the west?
crimochina:
haku: think of the many locals you have met, how many can you say had a yearning to learn more. as if they knew they did not know everything. everyday i come across locals who think they know english better than foreigners, foreign culture (singular) better than foreigners, foreign food better than foreigners. WHat i like about vicky is that she does not act like a know it all. she wants to find out. that is the first step to gaining knowledge and a clear sign of intelligence. people who ask me questions about my home country out genuine curiosity and are willing to accept my answers above what they've been indoctrinated to believe can easily become my friend. don't knock her because you think her questions are silly , remember girls in this country are deprived info even moreso than men. girls in this country are not allowed to experience what life is for themselves. don't insult her intelligence simply because she was told wrong info for 20 years of her life and told not to accept info that contradicts what she was told. instead look back on your own life and your own childhood environment and be grateful. i personally welcome vicky jillian to my home to spend the night. (
sorry). i personally welcome any chinese person to ask away and feed their curiosity. ii am usually good at sensing if their is a hidden motive to questions by new posters. but it could be wumaos found my kryptonite young girls asking questions about relationships. "MMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Hakupatasa:
Vic..let me make you clear that neither I love west nor I hate China. In fact, I respect China and its people whatever the system or the culture people have because of its historical link attached with me which I can never change. The thing that I tried to point out is that your few questions (not all) are revolved around man or boyfriend. If you look at the first question that you asked and read all the responses clearly, then they answer most of your curiosity about man and relationship. I was not saying you should not go to west or anywhere as long as long as you love someone. I just wished you to be cautious in choosing a man, to be more confident on yourself and not to get hurt again or to go through same situation repeatedly. Anyway, I apologize if I hurt your feelings.
Crimo: I know your answers are wise. Neither I am trying to knock her down nor insult. It was just because some of her questions are revolving around the same issues. I am not sure about others but for me, it gives a feeling like you answer a questions thousands time and suddenly, you got the same question, as if your words are blown away.
I am always happy to teach people or provide answers in any genuine issues. Let you know that, I mostly have Chinese friends than any others here and they ask ranges of questions. However, in some instances, when they ask something and I answer, they just don’t listen or even don’t try to understand and come up with the same issues. That is what I tried to point her out. That is what I wished her to understand: ask questions, listen carefully, read about it and ask questions again synthesizing that answer if it doesn’t answer all.
I am not an English teacher, but may be being a lecturer of Science, I perceive the way of questioning and answering differently. We say questions and answers should include: to the point, clear, small and beautiful. Asking is not only the solution for all questions; I want people to read about it also. I want people able to find some answers themselves also. When I was a student and ask a simple question to my Prof., he simply picked a book from shelves, handed me and told me to come up next day with the answer of my question. Shit, maybe I was badly influenced by it. (aaaaggghhhhhh)
No worries, Vick and Crimo, it is my habit to sound bit harsh but I always tried and will try to be good for students. (Well that my former college students used to say). Whenever they found I was going to make questions or correct answers they used to be afraid that each and every words count and they are not going to get enough grade. In the long run, it is good for them.
And I am sure, whatever way I answered, if Vick reads them taking her time and think calmly there is nothing harm I intend to do her.
Anyway, sorry for the way I answer. Both of you just cheer up.
crimochina:
haku: have you ever been heart broken or simply betrayed in love? 101 questions pop into your mind you doubt everything you thought you knew. this is therapy for her.
crimochina:
and haku: don't apologize for how you answer. we are human, we react . we discuss. that's all /.\ and my answers are not wise. just drivel
Hakupatasa:
hahaha..Crimo..No i am not heart broken...never..the thing is that whatever i do or think..lets say if i love someone then i also prepare myself from day first that the end will come...That is why most of my friends say that I think too much, even my GF (present and ex.). I always sound rude until and unless people really get close to me..To be frank, I never let anyone too close...When I was around 15 two readings influenced me "Chanakya (also know as first economist and master of politics at the time of Alexender" and "Buddha." By 18, I have finished almost all Russian literatures including few Chinese about life and struggles. And later on, I get chance to be closed with few profs. who were different than others that I have seen. Swedish one was not ready to accept even a single mistake, whenever I presented my work. Another, Canadian was even ahead, no mistakes at all ( i had to think about my work 10 times before I showed him. Even now a days when I communicate with him I have to think twice as he has said me first to be clear of "Why, Howand What"). When I was doing my PhD he said me that if I could leave my love behind then only I can master science. They were very clear and precise. And there was my father who always said me "read, read and read." If I have to learn something then read as much as possible and write. Well I read but unfortunately, I could not write anything beside on FB though I got encourage from people there. I was just a poet when I was small, reading them on children's program in national radio and TV's.
May be because of my earlier experience, with my students, I was very critical and "to the point" guy when I was in the classroom. But outside, I was their best friend...
So everything summed up in me now.
I do respect women from my heart. That is why I wished and tried to convince Vick through my writing to be strong.
Never mind, I love discussion. Apology is no problem.
Adios.........
Victoria1987:
Hakupatasa:What do you mean of run to west?Did I said cause I want to the west world ,so go to use foreign boyfriend?
u have to go to the guy and talk and judge... may be both of u want is a one night stand... and it could be a thrustable one night relationship...
cooter:
thrustable....freudian slip, or intentional? either way, thumbs up, haha.
Stand in the bar and look at him once in awhile, he'll find you.
Laowai of all shapes and sizes hang out in bars. It's up to you to suss them out.
I do know of people here that indeed met in a bar and have a serious relationship, and I know those who met in a bar and it lasted only one night.
No generalization to cover this except be careful, and do not go to his home or hotel room on that first night unless you only want a one night stand.
Dear girl,
As a big difference between our cultures we believe all kind of people go to bars. I heard many Chinese girls saying that they would never go to bars because they are not that kind of girls and the girls you find in bars are bla bla bla.
Foreigners will go to bars, the jerks and the nice ones. Take Ted Mosby for example, he is always in a bar with Barney and both of them are really different kind of man. TV is good, let's learn from it. 
Victoria1987:
Dear man, I will see it by my eyes,thinking and picking one up if I meet one in a bar
o la la laeveryman is differant, some good some bad same as women. personally i would never date a girl i met in a bar -just friendship. i dont drink so a drinker would be bad for me.
