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Q: How to convince gf there's no need to stay in bed a month after pregnancy?
My girlfriend's perfect. Honestly very little to complain about. We're serious about our commitment and we want things to last, but as soon as we talk about children and pregnancy (or TCM, whichever order), things go wrong.
Latest in point, I'm trying to convince her that staying a month in bed after a pregnancy really isn't necessary, and will only be further detrimental to her health. She's convinced of exactly the opposite, refusing to listen to talks about medicine, because she's adamant our respective 'conditions' are different. I argued that Asian Americans don't do this, but she said it was more than just medicine or morphology, but again she drifted her arguments in more spiritual waters.
Seriously, at this point I doubt even the wisest of doctors would make her see the light. I don't care about her strong belief in TCM as long as all she's drinking horrible tasting soups, but I really can't wrap my head around staying a whole month in bed. The argument just goes from harmless recipes to full-blown superstition
it is alot of dribble about the pre-birth and post birth talk they have here and you are right not even Dr. Phil could convince them.
What you could do when the baby is born is say FIRE FIRE FIRE and run out of the house once she is outside say nothing has happened to you right?
Ask her which society created effective treatments for things like Diabetes, cancer, heart transplants...etc...
Then tell her to shut up
I think you're going to lose on this one, especially if she gives birth in China and her mom/parents are around. You haven't a prayer.
She will heal faster if she moves, it's good for her over all health, but they are so soaked in tradition and tcm... you'll have to respect it.
Try to encourage her to at least walk a little.
When she gets knocked up, get her to your home country and have her spew the kid in a hospital, where they will make her get out of bed asap and encourage her to be active-ish.
May be you make her like work on farm like cow then happy are you/
tomcatflyer:
You are a complete idiot. Why do you think, (of course you don't think do you), that women from all over the world survive quite happily without being in bed for a month. Show me some scientific proof that this benefits women and I may just listen, until then shut up and try to educate yourself. And please don't give me that crap about Chinese being different, no they are not they are human beings just like every other country around the world.
bike-gypsy:
haha, I couldnt help but think of Yoda when i read this...sans the wisdom
tomcatflyer:
Hi bike-gypsy, I hadn't thought of that but your right, very Yoda
I always considered Chinese in a polarization sense, the flock together and will stay their wya even if they are wrong or it kills them, sounds like the extinct DoDo bird or maybe even the Leming,
Lisa, you must be Chinese, grow up, get out and explore the world and you'll see how close minded Chinese really are, I should know, my wife is also Chinese, blinded by a blind faith that has no basis in reality. Welcome to Chinese Land Can I Help You, little elves and Pixes run to you answering your every need. CHINESE WOMEN PLEASE GROW UP
Why do you care so much?
My wife wants to do the same and I really don't care. I told her I can accept it as long as she keeps hygienic (some don't shower during this time) otherwise she cannot have the baby with her during this month.
I agreed to it because it is her tradition and her culture and not because of the TCM. I made sure she knew this.
She will probably give birth in my homecountry and we will bring her parents. At least I can have my familys support too 
Kobol, you are getting ready to fight a loosing battle. Even if you do convince her not to stay in bed for a month, all you will gain will be to be blamed for any sickness, pain or whatever that could develop afterwards.
In November it will be 11 years that I went thru that, and she stayed out of bed. Today she has vaginal cancer, and I am blamed for that.
It is her body, let her do as she wishes to do. Just make sure baby is safe at all times.
After reading above question, I asked my GF to see how she differs. Amazingly, she said exactly what I read here. Then, I am sure that this belief prevails in mentality of girl's all over China.
We had a nice discussion about it but I could not win over it as she started to say "NO! NO! NO! NO!." She tried to justify saying that structure of girls in China is different. We have different genes. One possible reason, beside other unknown factors, I suspected is that mostly girls over here go through C-section so they want to feel that they are really weak, draw more attention of her man, and believe that the baby inside has really sucked up every bit of nutrients and energy. I may be wrong.......
I didn't argue about it, rather simply said, "Well dear, we will see what can be done IF we stay together and IF you get pregnant." For the time being it is the best remedy for me (may be for many) and keep trying to change their mind slowly.
It is true. Any women who does not spend a month in the house without washing after having a baby will always get a sickness in later life*
* As will every women who does things the normal way.
That's the problem. It is a self fulfilling prophecy that requires the use of logic when mounting the counter argument.
Have you tried using logic and reason with her? Hahahahahahahahahaha.
