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anonymous
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Q: How to kill a turtle?

my chinese gf parents both this turtle to eat it. But is since 2 weeks that this poor creature lives in a bucket. Im really thinking to kill it, at least i think is less cruel than keep it inside for days, weeks.

 

Can i use dettol? whats the fastest way to kill it?

10 years 12 weeks ago in  General  - China

 
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Posts: 19790

Emperor

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Just let it go!surprise And then, defend your stance with your arms up.....

Paulberger:

if he lets it go, someone else will just catch and kill it. 

10 years 12 weeks ago
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icnif77:

You mean: Somebody will pick-it up....? You can't really use word 'catch', when talking about turtle as prey

10 years 12 weeks ago
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10 years 12 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2488

Emperor

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After 2 weeks its now a pet. Its law. So your stuck with it. Give it a name and fix it up a home. Tell your inlaws its 2014 and its time to stop eating turtles. And spend the rest of your days feeling proud you saved at least one from their death grip.

icnif77:

I like your Law!

10 years 12 weeks ago
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Scandinavian:

I would say anything you bring home alive is a pet. (or at least it's not food)

10 years 12 weeks ago
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10 years 12 weeks ago
 
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Emperor

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If you set it free, someone else will kill it and cook it. 

 

Tell your in laws to stop doing stuff they cannot figure out how to do when it includes living beings. 

 - You don't have to be a rocket scientist to know that kindness is a virtue.

icnif77:

He should stick message on the turtle before release: Bùyào chī!

10 years 12 weeks ago
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10 years 12 weeks ago
 
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Emperor

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I'm not sure if this is a culinary or a moral question. If you want to eat it, avoid drowning it in chemical. If you want to kill it humanely, also avoid drowning it in chemicals. Even the regular cooking method is more humane (boil alive in water like a shellfish). I had turtle at a wedding once. Tasted like chicken. Chinese prepare special meats in bland seasoning, to keep the flavour of the meat dominant. I'm not a fan of special meats, rare, expensive or otherwise.

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10 years 12 weeks ago
 
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Wait for it to become a teenager, and then feed it strange chemicals chemicals so it can become a mutant. Then teach it ninjitsu.

Mr_spoon:

Feed it pizza laced with uranium!

10 years 12 weeks ago
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Paulberger:

wasn't there a cartoon about something similar... what was it called?!?!  oh yea, Rugrats...

10 years 12 weeks ago
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Hulk:

Wow, what? Rugrats? No, you dumbass... it was Duck Tales.

10 years 12 weeks ago
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Paulberger:

wow ducktales!  i have completely forgot about that cartoon.  i might have never thought about it again if you hadn't mentioned it.  i can remember the opening song perfectly.... thank you hulk, for pushing something useful out of my mind to fill it with this useless song... i have forgotten my nephew's face....

10 years 12 weeks ago
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Hulk:

LIFE IS LIKE A HURRICANE

HERE IN CHI-NA.

 

RACECARS, MAOSERS, AEROPLANES. IT'S A DUCK-BLUR.

10 years 12 weeks ago
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Paulberger:

MIGHT FIND A MYSTERY... OR REWRITE HISTORY!  oh wait, they already rewrote most of history...

10 years 12 weeks ago
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Hulk:

lmfao

10 years 12 weeks ago
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Mr_spoon:

I'm dying!

10 years 12 weeks ago
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Paulberger:

@mr_spoon. before you die, tell the op what's killing you so he can kill his turtle with the same technique!

10 years 12 weeks ago
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10 years 12 weeks ago
 
Posts: 9192

Emperor

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Turtles can carry salmonella. Don't touch it.

Don't kill it. Make a pet out of it, you can paint it, but don't eat it. I'd glue a hair piece on it and tell everyone it was a strange cat.

 You could also tie it on top of your head and use it for helmet when you ride your scooter, much better than any cheap helmet that you buy in China.

Percivile:

Or touch it, then wash your hands. 

10 years 12 weeks ago
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Paulberger:

i think the hair piece idea is genius.

10 years 12 weeks ago
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icnif77:

Hairy turtle. I wonder, what would Darwin's opinion be on this matter

10 years 12 weeks ago
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TedDBayer:

Darwin would love it, he wore a hair piece also.       sad

10 years 12 weeks ago
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icnif77:

We could rename the 'theory' to 'hair piece' theory. In limited circles, of course.

10 years 12 weeks ago
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10 years 12 weeks ago
 
Posts: 561

Governor

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buy one of those big plastic tubs.  fill it with some water and put a few stones inside for it to bask in the sun.  if you don't have sunlight now bc of winter, buy a uv light.  actually turtles are real cool pets, especially if you have children.  but keep in mind, you must change that water almost daily.  they eat and defecate in the water and it turns a murky greenish color and stinks like hell..

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10 years 12 weeks ago
 
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Emperor

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Teach the turtle how to skateboard, nina turtles can.

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10 years 12 weeks ago
 
Posts: 561

Governor

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call Shredder, he's in the technodome.... he'll know what to do...

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10 years 12 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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I think they want to see if you're "man enough" to kill and eat a turtle...to be worthy of their daughter's hand...

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10 years 12 weeks ago
 
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https://www.yahoo.com/gma/miami-beach-woman-arrested-stomping-sea-turtle-nest-083550093--abc-news-topstories.html

 

Another wonderful Chinese national behaving like a friggin idiot.

 

Rich folks in Miami get fines for the lights on the homes that interfere with sea turtle mating and this lady drove down from Michigan to get turtle soup.

Stiggs:

Sigh, rules and things like environment mean nothing to some people....

 

You can take the peasant off the farm but you can't get the farmer mentality out of the peasant.

4 years 41 weeks ago
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4 years 41 weeks ago
 
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