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Posts: 2240

Shifu

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Q: I think a lot of white men in China have male chauvinism

I think a lot of white men in China have male chauvinism. They want to be with women who are submissive and obey.

 

I am happened to be a non submissive woman, that's one of the main reason makes me single.

 

This is what a white guy who married to a Chinese woman just wrote to me on wechat:

So that means they want a submissive Chinese woman? Maybe you should just listen more. Men like intelligent women that love to learn. Not idiot women that think they know everything.

 

Since when women who listens to men become intelligent?

7 years 10 weeks ago in  General  - China

 
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Everyone needs to beef up on their comprehension.

 

"So that means they want a submissive Chinese woman? Maybe you should just listen more. Men like intelligent women that love to learn. Not idiot women that think they know everything."

 

Do you understand what the guy is saying? First sentence, he's saying she's not getting the point, she's misinterpreting what he's saying. Second sentence, why's she not getting the point? Because she needs to listen more. Does that sound like anyone, asking questions , then getting great answers and her response is to attack the responders. Skip to the last sentence, someone who doesn't think they know everything. For fucks sake, he's not wanting submissive he wants someone who is not like her. She's just twisting his words to make herself seem like a victim.

Shining_brow:

7:3 at this point.... lots of agreement... (hint hint)

7 years 9 weeks ago
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Viki87:

Shinning. I bet people will punch you for insulting people in the name of giving advice. You are only be able to play the role of strong man on the internet. And you just got attacked by other memebers in my another post.

7 years 9 weeks ago
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Englteachted:

What did Shining do? 

7 years 9 weeks ago
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icnif77:

He was counting 'downs' ....

 

 we all have only one 'up' or 'down', how she can have three ....?.... ohh sorry, me going off topic ....

 

and Shining must be reprimanded.

7 years 9 weeks ago
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Shining_brow:

@Engles.

 

I just wrote what others have been saying for a while - she comes on here, "asks for advice". and then attacks people when they say things she doesn't agree with or like....

 

I've never once seen her write anything remotely resembling an apology, or actually admit to being wrong. But, hey, much easier just to do the standard Dalu ren thing (epitomised by their government) of blaming someone else.

7 years 9 weeks ago
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Englteachted:

That's what her ex is saying, the exact same thing, listen more be intelligent and willing to learn. What's new?

7 years 9 weeks ago
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7 years 9 weeks ago
 
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Posts: 724

Shifu

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Unlike you, I'm a super submissive, docile, demure and soft piece of sponge... who is okay being led. laugh

SpongeBob:

Oh look at all the down votes! Can't trick you smart folks on here at all, can I?

7 years 9 weeks ago
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Shining_brow:

Suck it up, Sponge..

 

 

7 years 9 weeks ago
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SpongeBob:

Just realized sponge isn't a very good name. It sucks!

7 years 9 weeks ago
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7 years 10 weeks ago
 
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Ahhh that's not what he seems to be saying

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7 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1095

Shifu

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Most men want to settle down with interesting intelligent women. The booty shaking bragging types are good for fun only.

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7 years 10 weeks ago
 
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The Girl is just venting ....the same as we do about the day-to-day shit that happens to us in China.
I can see what she is talking about thow, however i doubt it is limited to white guys.
Vicki maybe you're just looking in the wrong places..

RandomGuy:

Meet new 'boyfriend' in a bar and have sex 5 mins after that -> wonders why new 'boyfriend' is not being serious about establishing a relationship.

 

Chooses her new 'boyfriend' solely based on his physical appearance -> wonders why new 'boyfriend' also treats her like a piece of meat.

 

Ignores all the nice guys because they don't have a 6-pack and don't look like models -> Wonders where all the nice guys have gone LMBO.

 

Women.

7 years 9 weeks ago
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7 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 5156

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Everyone needs to beef up on their comprehension.

 

"So that means they want a submissive Chinese woman? Maybe you should just listen more. Men like intelligent women that love to learn. Not idiot women that think they know everything."

 

Do you understand what the guy is saying? First sentence, he's saying she's not getting the point, she's misinterpreting what he's saying. Second sentence, why's she not getting the point? Because she needs to listen more. Does that sound like anyone, asking questions , then getting great answers and her response is to attack the responders. Skip to the last sentence, someone who doesn't think they know everything. For fucks sake, he's not wanting submissive he wants someone who is not like her. She's just twisting his words to make herself seem like a victim.

Shining_brow:

7:3 at this point.... lots of agreement... (hint hint)

7 years 9 weeks ago
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Viki87:

Shinning. I bet people will punch you for insulting people in the name of giving advice. You are only be able to play the role of strong man on the internet. And you just got attacked by other memebers in my another post.

7 years 9 weeks ago
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Englteachted:

What did Shining do? 

7 years 9 weeks ago
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icnif77:

He was counting 'downs' ....

 

 we all have only one 'up' or 'down', how she can have three ....?.... ohh sorry, me going off topic ....

 

and Shining must be reprimanded.

7 years 9 weeks ago
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Shining_brow:

@Engles.

 

I just wrote what others have been saying for a while - she comes on here, "asks for advice". and then attacks people when they say things she doesn't agree with or like....

 

I've never once seen her write anything remotely resembling an apology, or actually admit to being wrong. But, hey, much easier just to do the standard Dalu ren thing (epitomised by their government) of blaming someone else.

7 years 9 weeks ago
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Englteachted:

That's what her ex is saying, the exact same thing, listen more be intelligent and willing to learn. What's new?

7 years 9 weeks ago
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7 years 9 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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"I am happened to be a non submissive woman, that's one of the main reason makes me single."

 

Yhh sure, keep on telling yourself that.

 

One minute you're worshipping the ground they walk on and now you hate them? Just as much as you'll find White guys who are male chauvinists you'll also find others who are very openminded and willing to work with REASONABLE, independent minded women.

 

Stop blaming others all of the time, that's all you've been on here doing for the last few years, and where has it gotten you? You're still single!

 

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7 years 9 weeks ago
 
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Most men are dominant or want to be dominant, not just white men.

 

I have ran into many women that deem themselves "non-submissive and independent" when in actual fact, they just weren't willing to negotiate or compromise on small and simple matters. 

 

Some are very strong minded and scare away weaker men. However, they should still attract stronger men.

 

If you are attracting no men, it could be because you simply aren't willing to change or adjust at all. That's fine, you don't have to... but it usually ends up being a very lonely road.  

Viki87:

I sometimes overreact but later I would think through and went to communicate with my ex.

I actually was trying to discuss and compromise a bit.

 

It's my ex-boyfriend who's unwilling to compromise and communicate.

 

One day, he went out to buy food for me to make our dinner, I texted him to ask him to bring me a toothbrush. He came home without my toothbrush. I told him that I am mad at him for not buy me toothbrush and went to bed without speaking to him. He should least explain the reason why he didn't bring me toothbrush. But he didn't, he just came to bed lay besides me soon after.

 

His house and toilet are dirty and messy. He used my toothbrush while staying at my house in the city sometimes, I didn't like. But I tolerated. 

 

He's so mad after I refused to have sex with him while I was still sleepy in the morning. He went mad and threw my coat on the floor of the living room.

 

Since the way I started dating him, he never said sorry for many things he have done.

 

But I always said sorry to him if it's my fault sometimes.

 

 

 

I broke up with him twice, but always regret and came back. He broke up with me for three times, and the last time he just didn't want to come back and told me that we didn't get along and no need to meet each other anymore,

7 years 9 weeks ago
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7 years 9 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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Its going  to get worse with TrumoTrump in power.

Englteachted:

And that means what? How is Trump going to make foreign white males in China behave worse, mind you most foreigners in China are not from America. Most foreigners I come across hate Trump. Focus your half cent to making better decisions for your daughter.

7 years 9 weeks ago
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7 years 9 weeks ago
 
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I think what Vicky is trying to say is that lots of guys here have an acute sense of entitlement. Not sure if it's a white supremist thing as suggested or if china just attracts a lot of dickheads. I personally think there are just a lot of dickheads with delusions of self entitlement around.

That said, the examples of why Vicky lost it with her ex wouldn't sit well with me. Maybe people in Shanghai are a bit over sensitive or all think they are special and deserve better. Probably somewhere in the middle.

Vivky, don't get mad about shit that really doesn't matter. It is wasted energy and stressful. If no one is going to die, then it probably doesn't matter that much. Playing sajiao isn't attractive, nor is it something that a decent man will tolerate.

Englteachted:

"One day, he went out to buy food for me to make our dinner, I texted him to ask him to bring me a toothbrush. He came home without my toothbrush. I told him that I am mad at him for not buy me toothbrush and went to bed without speaking to him. He should least explain the reason why he didn't bring me toothbrush. But he didn't, he just came to bed lay besides me soon after."

The guy forgot the toothbrush so she gets angry and doesn't talk to him? But yet expects him to explain why he forgot the toothbrush? I would have left then and there if I was that guy. How many times have you gone to the store wanting to buy bread (for yourself) and forgot?  Doesn't mean he's purposefully doing it out of contempt. Think man

 

 

 

7 years 9 weeks ago
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Shifu

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Exactly. When I had sleepovers in all the dudes places, they'd offer me a toothbrushes or go out to buy one for me. There are convenient stores everywhere, forget is no excuse, especially if they know offering a toothbrush might make me stay over and impress me. They would also offer food, either bought it or cooked it. I would never go to someone's place to cook for them. 

 

On the other hand, I wouldn't make a fuss out of forgetting a toothbrush anyways. If I like I could go and get one, live without it or just leave. 

 

This dude clearly didn't cherish Viki very much. But Viki didn't present much value either. And that's when you know they are not compatible. Sharing your life with someone is all about those insignificant moments adding up together. If having each other in your life makes life unhappy for both of you, you are simply not meant to be. One can only compromise so much, but what people can tolerate differs. There are people like Viki who's not happy with someone forgot her toothbrush, there are people like Sheldon cooper who's not happy with someone sitting on his spot. 

 

But Viki is desperate. She knew this dude isn't right for her. This dude clearly told her he's never gonna get married nor having kids. But she could not let go of him. She clings on him months after the broke up till one day he refused to see her again. She forced this to happen by showing up uninvited. He threatened to call the cops. And that was the deal breaker.

 

Viki asked me why. She felt she sacrificed so much for him and he did not cherish her. That's when I told her she ought to be submissive coz had she not forced what was not meant to happen happen, and follow his pace; he might still keep in touch with her. 

 

But you know, it's Viki and that's never gonna happen. Instead of taking my advice, she went to troll the site and threw her anger on here. 

 

The interesting thing about Viki is, meanwhile, there was another 45 yo dude stalking on her all the time and she hated him with her guts and she could not understand why he was crazy.

Viki87:

I didn't say I didn't understand that guy who has been stalking me all the time. In the contrast, I understand him very well.

7 years 9 weeks ago
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SpongeBob:

OK. If you say so. But if you truly understand him very well, you would not complain about how annoying he was.

 

I know you know everything and you are not here to seek for advice. All you need is to complain. Strangely, not to those who annoy you but to people who don't know them nor care.

 

Clearly you know what you did not like, either with your ex or that old guy. But you chose passive aggressive behavior toward them. With your ex, when he did not buy you toothbrush, you stopped talking to him, with that old dude, you ignored him, which led him to message you even more just to figure you out. In both cases you hoped they'll get the idea that you were not happy. 

 

Why Viki. Why didn't you tell them how you feel when you were not happy with them? I sense it's because you were being insecure and you did not have the courage to walk away. But you know a relationship is a teamwork and it requires open communication, even if the consequence can mean breaking up.

7 years 9 weeks ago
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nicholasba:

You know the problem with attention whores?they are attention whores. Miko, you have way more serious problems than Vicky...in my humble opinion. Vicky is at least trying, you got a life only on-line, behind the screen...I'm afraid of.....

7 years 8 weeks ago
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SpongeBob:

You sure know about your problem Chris!

7 years 8 weeks ago
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7 years 9 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1297

Governor

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vicky, the easy mistake on posting too many personal details about yourself on this site is that the others here will use this as ammo against u Way too many wagging tongues to gossip

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7 years 9 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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you keep going back to a guy who clearly had no respect for you, and he knows he can get away with his treatment of you.

what do you want people here to say?

that he is a jerk?

of course he is a jerk, but clearly, by your own admission you are willing to tolerate being treated like that.

 

some questions

how many guys have you dated in the last year?

were they all like this guy?

who broke up with who and for what reason?

i don't expect you to answer on this forum, but maybe if you review your dating history: the places you met the guys, how they treated you, how you treated them, maybe you will see some kind of pattern.

 

you say you are 'emotional' (ie short fuse), so maybe this contributes in some way to your relationship pattern.

you call foreign guys 'chauvinistic' yet you chose to be with them.

yes YOU chose to date them, not anyone else.

 

there are so many good guys out there.

maybe you are overlooking them for some trivial or superficial reason, like maybe they are not 'white' or 'too old'

 

Age or looks have nothing to do with the sterling quality of character which last longer.

there are so many guys who are not an Adonis when it comes to looks, or skin colour, but they more than make up for it in other ways - mainly by treating you with respect and consideration.

 

Listening is an essential part of any close relationship.

Maybe you didn't listen to the guy whose treatment of you screamed 'I don't respect you at all'

 

hope you have better luck with the next guy.

there are so many good guys out there.

maybe you are overlooking them for some trivial or superficial reason

Englteachted:

You say this guy had no respect for her? Based on what? What makes you think that? 

7 years 9 weeks ago
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Blondie_:

i can only go on what Viki posts (which admittedly are not that reliable), but if a guy expects a gf to clean up or pick up after him in his place, he can't respect her very much.

she is more of a skivvy than a girl-friend.

i don't know any woman who would tolerate this kind of expectation in a relationship and actually do it.

 

but to be honest, we are getting only one side of the story on this.

 

this kind of 'wah wah wah, all men are pigs' kind of post are one-sided as the full information about the relationship is never given, and to expect helpful advice based on this is unrealistic.

 

likewise when guys post 'all women are bitches' kind of posts, there is never anything from the other side to show that it could have been a mutually destructive relationship.

7 years 9 weeks ago
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Englteachted:

"guy expects a gf to clean up or pick up after him in his place, he can't respect her very much."

 

Where did you get this from? Where does she say that? Maybe I missed it?

 

7 years 9 weeks ago
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Blondie_:

@ Englteachted

it was in her other post.

she went into some detail about things this guy did - allegedly making her clean up his place, and how she reacted to various things such as getting angry when he wanted her to watch a movie and she didn't want to, but she has now removed it, along with some other of her comments.

 

but some of the other posters picked up on it too.

 

 

7 years 9 weeks ago
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Englteachted:

I don't trust anything she says, she's delusional and twists the truth. Look at what she did with his message. 

7 years 9 weeks ago
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Blondie_:

@ ted.

it must suck big time to be a single woman at Spring Festival - probably constantly annoyed by the comments of family and friends about your job and relationship status, not to mention comments about your personal appearance.

Emotional bullying is bad enough when it comes from a partner, but many times worse when it is from family, who you would think should be supportive of your life choices and current situation.

If you have lost your job and are a single woman, it must be hell facing into the biggest Chinese festival of the year.

creating delusions that can be dismantled easily is not a solution, nor is desperately trying to cling on to a dysfunctional relationship.

 

if a relationship is over, treat it like a band-aid which you pull off quickly.

go out with close friends, commiserate and bitch.

Examine why things went wrong and how to change things the next time, whether it is places to meet people, new social activities, change how you deal with different situations, whatever, but not be so stupid to repeat the same relationship mistakes over and over.

 

i just think Viki must be a very lonely person, and like many Chinese i have met, has no idea how deal with it.

7 years 9 weeks ago
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Englteachted:

I've met a lot of girls like her.  No matter how shitty Chinese culture/ society is ,  their (her) biggest problem will always be themself (herself).  There's no excuse.

7 years 9 weeks ago
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7 years 9 weeks ago
 
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sorry for your bad romantic entanglements vicki, i always have extra toothbrushes around, when i was in college i had a sleepover kit made for my ladies that spent the night.

 

It was a huge ugly fish tackle box with lots of drawers and slots, but when you open it up, 20 shades of eye liner, lipstick, perfumes, lotions, tweezers, hair products, pads, anything a lady needed. My biggest problem was stopping them from taking stuff with them and the look i got when they asked how many other women had used my make up kit "i always said a few" was priceless. I even had a towel warmer for them when they got out of the shower and several different sizes of house slippers. the room was pretty busy most of the time.

if a guy want shave, bathe and brush his teeth and give you a clean towel, kick him to the curb, women will put up with bad bedroom skills but not bad sex and hygiene, if he is too lazy to buy you a toothbrush and bring you breakfast in bed, good riddance, nobody else probably wants him either. sharing a good man is always better than keeping a bad one, the older guys you are unsure of will probably remember your birthday and worship the ground you walk on and the young ones will continue to walk all over you, but you will figure this out yourself, sooner rather than later would be better for your sanity.

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7 years 9 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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hmmm... could it be that 'male chauvinism' is actually a disease one might get and then has?

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7 years 9 weeks ago
 
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https://nypost.com/2018/09/01/nyc-should-stop-coddling-young-white-bros-on-bikes/

 

yes, white men are the scourge of the earth, don't let them have jobs, education and finally take away the bicycles too.

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5 years 27 weeks ago
 
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