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Q: Ladies, would you date a guy who's slept with prostitutes in the past?

So I got to know this pretty cute guy recently. One night, we played a truth/dare drinking game and he admitted to having slept with prostitutes in the past during his time in China. It was an immediate turn-off for me and I don't think I would go anywhere near him after knowing this. Or am I being unfair? I just can't help but think of men who go to prostitutes as the lowest form of scum on earth.

5 years 6 weeks ago in  Relationships - China

 
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He obviously likes you enough to be honest about his dark past. It's not like that's his main chat up line for every girl.

 

Did you ask him this question or did he just say it? That's quite a difference you know.

 

The only thing I find wrong here is that he's man enough to admit it, and you're ready to leave him. While all the tonnes of married men can lie and go behind their lover's back and get away with it for years.

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5 years 6 weeks ago
 
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Well, I'd be worried about how clean he is. I would be really worried unless he got tested, and even then, I might not want anything to do with him. I don't feel it is wrong to have sex with prostitutes, but STDs can have large consequences, and are often transmitted unknowingly. It's not worth the risk. Every sexual encounter adds to that risk, whether it's with a prostitute or not. If he was going to prostitutes while in a relationship, then I would think he is scum.

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5 years 6 weeks ago
 
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Peasant

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Redaria, you do well to fear it. Follow your instinct because it's a healthy instinct and as a woman your instinct says that a guy like this may be a danger for the baby you may have with him, should you have sexual contacts with him.  The illness that he got for sure from his adventures are not a danger to your body and mind only but a danger for your future kids. Keep it that way and keep it simple: friendship if he is happy with it, if not let him go. 

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5 years 6 weeks ago
 
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It's really hard to say. I know a few guys who never woulda gone to prozzies until they came here. It doesn't mean they aren't good guys. However, I've always found that men who regularily use prostitutes generally have little respect for women. I've never gone to one, but that's mainly cause I'm always more concerned with the kind of life the woman has had that forced her into the business...would be too much guilt for me to enjoy any kind of a romp. 

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5 years 6 weeks ago
 
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I would be put off, Redaria, I don't blame you for being cautious.

 

I know it's not considered the most open minded thing to say, but I'm put off by the idea of the human body as a saleable commodity. My partner made it clear to me in our early days that he'd never been to a hooker, and wouldn't, and I respected him more for it.

 

In addition, the trafficking of women throughout Asia is a heartbreaking reality - I'm sure there are some women who choose the lifestyle, but I'm also sure there are other women trafficked into a horrible life. There's every chance he's encouraging that trade.

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5 years 6 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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people will sell there time there labor there sweet there blood there very souls, but not there genitals what grand HONOR THEY MAINTAIN INDEED.

indecision

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5 years 6 weeks ago
 
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I always squirm uncomfortably when someone tells me they've paid for sex. Especially in China. Try not to think about the HIV epidemic among Chinese sex workers the next time you see him.

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5 years 6 weeks ago
 
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He obviously likes you enough to be honest about his dark past. It's not like that's his main chat up line for every girl.

 

Did you ask him this question or did he just say it? That's quite a difference you know.

 

The only thing I find wrong here is that he's man enough to admit it, and you're ready to leave him. While all the tonnes of married men can lie and go behind their lover's back and get away with it for years.

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5 years 6 weeks ago
 
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How was his face when he admitted that? did you see any sign of regret or guilty? Well, I will be like you, kinda disgust..It'd only be unfair if he said that to let you know the truth, be open with you, share.. Maybe he likes you, wanna let you know all about him. But still, one can't blame of how you're feeling right now. Wink

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5 years 6 weeks ago
 
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You need to make sure he is tested several times for a certain period of time. STDs need 3 months at least to be shown in the tests.

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5 years 6 weeks ago
 
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I'd be totally grossed out. Blech!
A friend of mine told me about a friend of his who accidentally hooked up with a prostitute in Thailand. It wasn't until after the "event" that she asked for money....my friend said the guy was basically in tears when they caught up later. In that case I'd probably forgive the guy, but even then, only if he'd been tested!

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5 years 6 weeks ago
 
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ladies. remember, if you ask a guy directly if he has ever been with a prostitute, whether he is drunk or not at the moment, it is very easy for the guy to figure out that it will always be best to say "no"

I don't have the number at hand, but a very large number of the male population would have been with a prostitute, a smaller amount of those will confess to it. 

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5 years 6 weeks ago
 
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Interesting topic I must say. Isn't it common in China that the men go to prostitutes or go to "saunas"? Just wondering.

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5 years 3 weeks ago
 
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TBH, I'm really shocked, disappointed and rather disgusted with some of the responses here!

 

Firstly, let me be clear - I'm not looking at the basic health issues on this topic - that's a different discussion. Same also, I'm not looking at the possibility (probability) of abuse, etc - certainly in poorer countries like China, Thailand, Cambodia, etc.

 

So - my point... if you view the guy as 'scum', then what are you saying about the woman? She must be the lowest form of trash on earth!!! Obviously, she's not worth showing any form of respect.

 

Sheesh! She's a human being, FFS... and I'm pretty sure (especially in China, Thailand, etc) that it's not really a profession she was really pleased about having to get into... just try to think of the sort of life she was living (and maybe going to live) for her to make a decision to sell her body.

 

Also, she's had sex for money... sort of like... those girls who will only go after rich guys. Or, only after you've had a few drinks and gone to dinner a couple of times, or bought them an iPhone/iPad.... except, this is more honest!

 

Lastly, I think it says a lot more about our attitudes to sex, and just how repressed our society is. To put it bluntly, he wanted sex (basic human urge), he wasn't in a relationship (we presume... it wasn't mentioned in the OP, and so I think it's safe to assume), he didn't want to lead on a girl with false hopes or promises. He took the 'smart' route. NO lies, no deceptions, no heartache and break-ups. Would it have been better if he said he regularly goes to night-clubs and picks up for one night stands?? Or makes promises of marriage etc to get into some girls pants, only to end it in a few months with her in tears? (and her brothers out for blood Tongue)

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5 years 3 weeks ago
 
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Wake up!

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5 years 3 weeks ago
 
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Honestly I have never been to such place there it was possible to buy a prostitute or not, due to my young age and I have no interest in that particular thing, so I can't defend or judge people who actually go to such places.
Although that the view on women based on respect, genuine respect. Despite that this is China, a lot different culture and society compared to our countries back home (especially a typical Scandinavian country).
Something that I noticed among my foreign friends here in China, most of them have once or twice, or are regularly having sex with a prostitute. It's a clear difference between mine and their view of women. Sadly, they tend to respect the women far less than I would ever do.

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5 years 1 week ago
 
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damn , since i have been used by rich chinese women as a boytoy , i guess i should commit suicide before my wife finds out. lol

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5 years 1 week ago
 
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If I had a sister I would direct her to the farthest distance away from that guy for fear of what she could catch from him. Poor guy he probably has already caught something but just doesn't know it yet!

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5 years 1 week ago

There are cookies, bookies and too many rookies for me to sit here trying to be a hooky! Looky Looky don't call me a wooky. Touchy Touchy Feely Feely Spicy Spicy Nicey Nicey & that's what the doctor Ordered!!

 
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nowadays every1 sleeps with prostitutes ... so its nt a big deal ... 

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4 years 51 weeks ago
 
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Unfortunately I am the betrayed partner of a guy who used prostitutes, the sex traded korean massage parlor kind, for three whole years. ; Its the thinking these self centered low lifes employ that will lead you to really awful places, even if they actually stop the act of having sex with prostitutes. This is a certain sort of person who wants sex without intimacy. Good luck with that!
Can't you find someone of higher morale character, and who respects women and the underprivileged of the world, more than that? Really, if you enter a relationship with this guy you are ASKING for heartache. Perhpas he knows better now, but then again, he should have known better before he did it. Substandard human.

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1 week 5 days ago
 
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I'm surprised nobody mentioned anything about frequency, at all. Way too much absolutist judgementalism in this thread, invalidating many opinions IMO. There's plenty of guys who might have done it once or twice in the past, but never made a habit out of it. Sure, the stigma is huge, so if you did it even once, the stain is on your conscience and you might do it again because you're now "tainted" anyway. But if you talk about diseases, exploitation and ethics, surely context matters, and whether or not you are a habitual visitor of prostitutes.

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1 week 5 days ago
 
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