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anonymous
Q: Men value sex, women value love, is it true?
Men value sex, women value love, is it true?
Is this a universal value for Chinese and westerners? Give me reasons why guys or girls or even married men or women cheat their parter sleep with someone else.
12 years 49 weeks ago in Relationships - China
I think men also value love but sex for them, to cheat is somtimes ok and think its just a physical thing... Hell brake lose if his parner will do it.
There are woman whith the same thinking as above, even in China i see this. A shocking thing I heard of more than once is; Married woman will have sex with a man who has more money than her husband and feel its oke to do so....
Why cant we combine real love and good sex??? If love exist then you care each other more, feeling are more, you give more in sex... just both need to discusss all sex matters openly (likes dislikes.... live out your fantasies... and live faithfull,
Men are dirty animals when thinking of cheating is OK! Why they think sex is just physical thing and never think their partners are being hurted and humiliated when they do so. I also see young Chinese girls have very poor sex moral standards and can sleep with anyone she wants although she considers herself as a professional. I found she doesn't even care her new sex partner knowing she've slept with different guys. Will you tolerate this kind of girl friends?
Please just don’t generalize people, and believe in true love.
To sleep with someone without love is like being raped, just I think this way personally.
nevermind:
WHAT? No it isn't. LOVE DOESN'T EXIST in a real sense. Carnal instincts do though. Sometimes it's just a great natural satisfaction to mate with someone you don't love. And it's fun.
Love and sex are two different things. They are too often confused.
You can love someone without having sex with them.
You can have sex with someone without loving them.
You can have sex with someone you love.
Sex is cheaper than love.
Sex is 300 rmb
Love costs you everything you have and are.
Both sex and love are choices.
You choose to or not to.
Making "generalities" is always difficult and risky business, but that aside, I would say that Chinese Ladies and many Chinese men do not have any idea of what "true love" really is. Meet a Chinese Lady on Internet or in person if you are in China. Within the next three times you seen her, she will either tell you "we can only be friends" if somehow you do not meet her criteria of a future partner in life, or "I love you " once. To me, they are more into finnancial security and not really love.
Je, je, and if we go into their attitude for sex you will be frustrated soon. Some will not even allow you to hold haands in public, much less any other display of affection. If you say "I love you", they will replay "No need to say". And of course, the rest of the letany will be to sleep in separate beds (I am not used to sleep with someone else", sometimes even separate bedrooms. Foreplay is another no-no, just plug in and fire away. Hugging after sex is not possible, I am "dirty" and must take bath. Yes, no French kissing (may get hepatitis), no touching her without washing and desinfecting your hands (many sickness out there), no oral sex (that is dirty), no sodomy, no sex while near or menstruating, etc. One once refused to comply with my request to shave her pubic area if she was serious about getting BJ, since I did not want my throat and mouth full of public hair, and smell was bad. She claimed it was against "Nature" to shave down there. No wonder it is so common in China to have mistresss willing to allow many things done to them in exchange for money from their Sugar Daddy.
To me, basically "true love" means to do anything that will make my Lady happy and please, because only then I can be also happy. I do worry about her, forget about me. In turn, that special Lady should feel the same about me, and the relationship will last forever and be a very rewarding one. Yet, in China, most Ladies only think of what they want and are willing to do, and to hell with you.
Maybe this is why most marriages between Chinese Ladies and foreigners (about 75 % of them) end up in a divorce within 2 to 3 years. Of course, some fellows are lucky and do get what they consider to be an excellent wife. I am still waiting for my turn to get "lucky".
And no, I do not give lots of expensive gifts to my Lady friends, maybe invite them for dinner one day, flowers on her birthday, but I do make clear that without "benefits", I am not a sugar daddy at all.
MissA:
Happy, where do those stats come from? I'd be curious to see them, and for the reverse.
HappyExPat:
If you are thsat curious, Google them and you will see. They came out of Internet, from some USA sites.
If I just valued sex I wouldn't have gotten married. Love doesn't exist, but compatible people who care for each other does exist. I like that my wife and I do things for each other and look out for each other and in that sense I it comes from a place you could call love. But, I'm the same way with good friends and family. It's just she's someone I care for first.
I think this is a generalization that's made far too often. There are guys who value emotional connections over sex (hard to believe but it's true) and there are some who are just horn dogs (Njord 
). The same goes for women. I think this is universal with all people everywhere. Cultural differences might increase of decrease the importance of sex but it's essentially all the same.
There are many reasons why people cheat on their partners. Maybe they aren't satisfied with the sex, maybe they're looking for an emotional connection that they aren't getting in the current relationship, maybe it's revenge for something.
that is true, that's why men are happy and woman not
No love, no making love.
For me, sex is not equal to make love.
Sex is just a sport.
From a biological and evolutionary point of view - men want as many sexual partners as they can get their hands on to keep the species going - and hopefully strongly (no matter how inferior that male would be compared to others around them...).
Women want a good, strong, stable, protective mate - the best they can get in the environment they are in. That used to mean, the best physique.. but times have changed. Now, if they can't catch the one with the best genes to pass on to the children, then they'll at least get one that can properly look after their young. They call this 'love'.
"Love" is also a chemical reaction within the body, saying that your genes have found a good pairing in another person.
It can also be something that comes from somewhere else - something non-physical. That's the special stuff, which is much rarer than the ones mentioned above.
Humans just complicated things due to civilisation.... we no longer need merely to survive, and to keep the species going - so our emotions (and culture) has taken a stronger influence.
Humans now WANT to love someone else... and in wanting, believe that they do - humans are amazing at self-deception!!!
Someone once told me,. once a person hits puberty, they are bascially a drug-addict - completely unable to be rational about things to do with relationships!
kchur:
Jesus Christ you sound like some freshman dude wearing black lipstick and being too nervous to join the student activist group even though he's just "so sick of the system and wants to get people aware."
thedude:
I am sorry, but Shining...your words seem too much like idealism and little experience....especially here.
kchur:
He sounds like a dude who quotes Nietzsche every other sentence, even when people are just talking about last night's game, but pronounces the name differently every time.
kchur:
He sounds like a guy with a long, blonde pony tail, who keeps talking down to people for not being nihilists, because "it's just all bs man", then asks where the closest ashram is. He sounds like a dude who watches Idiocracy nightly, and every time he sees any manifestation of entertaining pop-culture, insists we're headed down that road.
Shining_brow:
Are you two lovers??? I mean, the way you're feeding off each other and agreeing with each other - AND trying to out-do each other.... And, yes, there is a healthy amount of idealism with a stack of realism tied in (although, with no expectation that things will happen overnight... or even in our lifetimes).
thedude:
Hey...my last comment was funny. Have you not seen Good Will Hunting? For the record I was being civil.
Shining_brow:
Ok Dude... I apologise! Yes, I've seen it, but many years ago, so the reference is now lost on me! (other than it's usual meaning. But, I prefer more logical and constructive criticisms of what is actually written, rather than insinuations as to my character and personality - you know, attack the message, not the messenger... Question (back on topic) - do men and women feel love differently? (deep inside (ie, not the 'why', but the actual 'how')) We have different forms of love within each other - filial, platonic, sexual, parental, etc... we have these different feelings of love within ourselves - do men and women have different feelings of 'love' for their partner??
Anonymous - you're after generalised answers to individual situations!
Some men value sex more than love - others not - and others see no difference.
Some women value love over sex - others not... and others think that sex is a form of payment they are giving for other 'services' and gifts given to them.
Some will see sex as an obligation and responsibility.
Some will see love as a natural consequence of various forms of behaviour... eg. "I've been with my bf/gf for 3 years now - OF COURSE I love them" - without actually questioning it.
The best answer you can get on here is from someone who has had an affair, or cheated on their partner (presuming, of course, that the act is significant, rather than just the thought...).
But, in short, the only answser - and the one that it all boils down to - is that a person who cheats on a partner isn't getting something that they want from the relationship. What that is... is individual - there are no generalisations that covers all situations!
Men love sex, but so do women (maybe not the Chinese girls...ok, maybe some).
Men look for mix of both, but sex is always an issue.
Some men love to get off, others like getting their partner off. Is that love?
When men give girls gifts or money, is this because of love, or because of sex?
This is a question that has MANY answers depending on the people involved.
sex cost 70 rmb ,but love cost every thing u have in life
GuilinRaf:
Unless you knock her up! Then it can cost you everyghint you have!
thedude:
70 rmb for sex? Dude...I hope you wear 2 condoms at the same time.
Thakkudu:
somewhere read... wearing 2 condoms at a time is more unsafe than wearing one!!.. is that right?
Createach:
sex costs 70?!!!!!...........on which planet?!!!!!...............tell me the address i might have a field trip for all the expats on this forum.....do some research on my own and come back give you the feed back...........LOL
The truth is both sexes value both the same. However men show there love in more sexual ways. For men sex given and received conveys love. For men if they are not receiving sex then they feel inadequate and therefore not loved. Women on the other hand perceive love as verbal actions and can easily feel as if their partner does not love them if they do not open up verbally to them. So either way, men have to open up emotionally to keep and obtain love, and women have to be willing to show love physically so that their man can understand.
I think more woman in China value money more than love...
Well, my GF definitely valued the sex, since she was always wanting sex, multiple times every day.
I, on the other hand, was always wanting her to translate things for me.
In china ALL women love money ! They don't feel love.... not any chinese feel love ... Love is for white peoples, black, other rase, but not for Chinese..
I think we both value both. It is just that men claim to be able to separate sex and love. Men will often justify sex with another woman telling their wife or GF that is was "just sex" and that there was no love.
On the other hand, if the wife or gf then has sex with that same mans best friend, he is singing a different tune altogether.
both of them value the same things, men are easily aroused for sex and women to take time, they both different stance on the topic of sex. this things varies from place or place, culture , country, traditions, life styles....... so i guess and am sure , both of them want sex and love together.........
Chinese women , the only things they care is money and sex.
personally , i think
Men value sex, women value love---before marriage
women value sex, men value love---after marriage
Women have sex to keep love, men love to have sex.
GuilinRaf:
And if that does not work , she can always lock her man in the closet....
