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Sign up with Google Sign up with FacebookQ: MIL - would you put her in a nursing home if you could?
Or, does she actually contribute to the point where you quite like having her around?
9 years 23 weeks ago in Family & Kids - China
Did you ever see a Chinese nursing home. ? They are like the hospitals. Well actually there is a old folks community being built here in town, but it's for the rich only. It's part of some bigger chain, I guess a time-share concept where you buy in, and then you can book an apartment for a duration and then move on to another community after that if you'd like.
If it's a nursing home in China, from what I saw of the hospitals, I would be feel horrible for my MIL. Back home, nursing home can be good (we have our horror stories in that department tho), but she would feel horrible too : the cultural gap is immense, language barer, the kind of things she might not really enjoy in her old days. If she need care, having her with us would be better, and in China, not anywhere else. It's where things make sense to her, where all the people she knows are, etc.
With 2 young boys and and antisocial FIL? Past arguments are forgotten, because we need her more than she needs us right now. I'm even thinking how to get her to come with the family abroad, when the time comes. She's far more helpful than my own mother, and she seems to take lessons from my affection to the boys: Nobody else taught her to be genuinely caring and affectionate, but she's taken to it like a fish in water.
The days of listening to other people's opinions about not wearing diapers in summer, irrational overprotectiveness, and whistle-squat peeing, are over. I even think it has gone a bit extreme, because I'm suggesting we should put something ON the babies' heads in the cold winter, but they insist no hat is better for the development of hair. Adapting to western lifestyle seems to be proceeding, but rational, balanced approach to issues is a bit harder to learn...
My 2nd son didn't even get his hair shaved off, and he's 3 months now. I was getting worried that not shaving might be bad for his hair, because it looked a lot thinner than my older boy's. But the hair is getting fuller now, so I was wrong. Perhaps I'm becoming too Chinese?
Scandinavian:
hey this is China, you can stick the kids in one of those boarding-kindergartens where they stay in small rooms, stacked in 4-story bunk beds and get to "learn" all day and night.
coineineagh:
Hah! Letting them play computergames all day would be more productive. Start off with brainteaser-style kids' games, then RPG and Strategy games once they get a bit older. Set up a system of goals and rewards/punishments for things they learn during play, with a bit of nudging and pointing out to help them along. By the time they're teenagers, they'll be playing Europa Universalis IV with their old man in a 'mommys basement' style classroom. I should pay attention to ergonomic seating so they don't develop the back problems I did, and mandatory outdoor activities every day so they don't get fat or myopic. Before long, their friends will be lining up to enroll in my basement classroom! Homeschooling sounds like a lot of fun for all, not to mention a lot more educational than National Humiliation Education. ...but emigrating is probably a better idea. ;)
She belongs in some kind of home. A dogs home maybe, she's got a face like a bull mastiff licking piss off a nettle.
Burak43:
You have something to look forward to 20-30 years down the line!
No, but I would put the brother-in-law in a nursing home fo'sho. And by that, "nursing home," I mean, "maximum security prison in solitary confinement."
my MIL is a very special woman .... I like her just would never live under the same roof as her. bossy bitch at her home... sweet as hell anywhere else.
maybe another couple years.. she's only 71, 75 maybe she will realize that I am the boss now..in her home or any home..... we both like control!!!! I have time.... wait her out without throttling her.
No absolutely. This would be very unrespectful. I want to keep her home with my family.
Nessquick:
My Grandpa was upset, unhappy and wishing to die as soon as possible when he was after brain attack. He have come back from hospital in a state as newborn. couldn't walk, talk or eat by himself. I have moved in his home and with help of rest of family, we have recovered him greatly, he could smoke and pour beer in his glass, eat clearly and all the things. Just what he can't, was holding his urine or shit. So every morning I have to change his diapers and clean his ass. On weekends he got bath from his daughter and son-in-law.
Do you thing it was not embracing for him, to undergo this all ? when I was small he cleaned my ass, but non of us expected it would happen on day the other way around.
It depends on people around, but sometimes is better to be in daycare, sometimes at home. you should consider both sides, wishes and the level of work around and the things mentioned above, if you willing to go this way...