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Posts: 2774

Emperor

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Q: Is there anything that you have never heard but should have heard?

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  •  
  • It's inedible
  • I hope the guy upstairs starts drilling again at 6am so i can wake up early
  • The typhoon is 1500km away, we should keep the school open
  • It is illegal for us to employ you
  • Don't bother washing the bowl or chop sticks
  • Can you speak up please?
  • Why? There are reasons which I am happy to explain to you
  • Please, you go first
  • You arrived early
  • It's so responsible that you don't drive drunk
  • Of course I'm happy to travel 2 hours each way to do a 30 min demo class
  • Not only would it be illegal but it would inconvenience a lot of people if I parked my BMW here
  • Thanks for giving me 2 days advanced notice
  • Sorry, you are over qualified to be an English teacher
  • Sorry, you aren't qualified to be an English teacher
  • You are so qualified, experienced and doing a great job, I'm going to give you a promotion
  • It's not the teacher's fault my child is failing their exams
  • Chinese medicine is pseudo-science
  • I don't want a nap
  • May I help you?
  • Please feel free to look around my shop. I won't bother you until you are ready to buy something
  • To be honest, that shirt doesn't suit you at all, sir
  • Footpaths and bicycle tracks are not to be used as a car park
  • The Windows on this computer is genuine
  • You have a slight cold? It's not necessary to go to hospital
  • Your Chinese is terrible
  • Please wait while others exit the elevator first
  • I think it's important that children have free play time away from study and organised activities
  • You aren't handsome
  • You are too thin
  • Your country is a shithole, I never want to go there
  • I have enough money
  • I don't have a fever. It's just a hot day
  • I hate basketball....and phone games and sleeping
  • I don't want to start my own business with the customers from the company i now work at
  • Free iPhone? No thanks, I don't want an Apple product
  • Free food? No thanks, I'm full
  • I like Japan
  • Not maybe. I'm certain
  • Paint should be carefully applied to only the target object
  • Only go in the direction of the traffic on a one-way street when you have your whole extended family on an ebike
  • Mercedes, bmw audi and suv drivers have to obey the traffic rules just like everyone else
  • Typing wechat messages whilst riding a bike is stupid and dangerous
  • There's not even a scratch, we should move our cars from the road
  • I have an ulterior motive for wanting to add your wechat
  • This soup looks and tastes like dishwater
  • I don't want to learn English nor do i want to teach you Chinese or be your friend
  • I'd like to return that item/money i borrowed from you
  • Some other countries have a longer history than China
  • Chinese food is ordinary and easy to cook
  • I don't care whether you had lunch or not
  • We only serve lean meat
  • You have many years of international experience as a manager, please tell me your idea and i will listen closely
  • Reuse cooking oil? Are you insane?
  • Eating ice cream during menstruation is harmless
  • It's too personal to tell a stranger you are menstruating or have diarrhoea
  • Come to your wedding party? Oh I'll need to buy a nice outfit - I can't go dressed like I'm just shopping for vegetables
  • I'm not coming to your wedding for the free food and i won't take any home with me
  • Chinese and westerners have the same body
  • It's ridiculous to ride a bicycle, go hiking, climb a mountain or go to the beach in high heels
  • Make sure you shower well after a particularly long labour and birth
  • You're pregnant? You should get a haircut
  • Foreigners all look different
  • My parents love my African-American boyfriend
  • You're African-American? The children's parents will love you. When can you start teaching in our school?
  • I want to get a tan to look more healthy and attractive
  • My apartment cost more than my car
  • I want an inconspicuous and economical car
  • All foreigners are poor and clever
  • Chinese workers are lazy and dishonest
  • The quality of that workmanship will never do
  • You'd like a refund because it was faulty out of the box? No problem
  • Don't worry sir, it's covered by the warranty
  • Just bring it back for an exchange or full refund
  • All of the products in our shop are fake
  • We will bring your drinks then serve your starter first, followed by your main meal, then desert will follow
  • I'm sorry sir, we only have fillets
  • The toilet is disgusting, it needs to be cleaned
  • Sorry, I don't have any tissues
  • There's plenty of toilet paper in the toilet
  • I don't care what my relatives think
  • Nice, the bus seat is still warm from the last person to sit there
  • Flat tyre? I can change that

 

6 years 17 weeks ago in  Arts & Entertainment - China

 
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Posts: 4495

Emperor

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Pardon me for staring.

Yes, we have a nice selection in size 44.

You are right, the little flag of red cloth tied underneath my car does nothing to prevent an accident.

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6 years 17 weeks ago
 
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Posts: 2855

Emperor

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Even though I'm wealthier than you, your time is just as valuable. 

I disagree with you. Here is a calm and logical explanation as to why I disagree. 

I would be happy to help you with that. 

After you. 

Thank you for your help, I greatly appreciate it.

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6 years 17 weeks ago
 
Posts: 4495

Emperor

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Pardon me for staring.

Yes, we have a nice selection in size 44.

You are right, the little flag of red cloth tied underneath my car does nothing to prevent an accident.

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6 years 17 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1263

Shifu

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My apologies for slapping your belly and calling you fat even though this is only the second time we have met.

I'd really like to converse with you, I'm not trying to show off to my mates.

I understand the reason why I am single and you have a Chinese wife is that I am a fucking slack-jawed yokel swimming in baijiu and reeking of garlic.

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6 years 17 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2774

Emperor

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Don't worry. I saw you coming for 150 metres, I won't walk out in front of you at the last possible moment.

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6 years 17 weeks ago
 
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