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Q: Where to get the book "Reasoning with Women" by Allmen.
I was talking with my girlfriend about her job. She has been doing some job hunting recently and she got in contact with a company. She's not interested in the job, but doesn't want to tell the company she's not interested... and just ignore it. Thing is, the company keeps calling.
Tonight I told her that she should do the right thing, call them and say she no longer has any interest in the position. She went batsh*t crazy and told me that that was very rude and made a big fuss over it... I couldn't believe it. I've tried to explain her... but she screamed at me and said some very nasty things... I don't know what to do.
She's Chinese, and I'm pretty sure I haven't done anything worth getting screamed at... she almost wanted to break up with me.
Is advising someone a big no-no in China?
11 years 6 weeks ago in Relationships - China
And then we see questions saying 'why aren't there more women on this site....?" Facepalm.
This particular girl sounds mental; don't blame the rest of womankind. If you're happy being treated like that, stay. If you're not, leave. It's not bleeding rocket science.
Xpat.John:
MissA,
Let me ask your perspective, as it is one that I respect. Do you think I stepped over the line with my "answer" to this question?
MissA:
Hi John. Actually the facepalm was aimed at the OP, not at you. Sorry if it looked that way. It drives me mental when one girl acting strange becomes an 'all women' thing.
You've posted here for ages and I've read enough of your posts to know that you're a decent guy. You've written in the past about your wife being a powerful woman, and that you've supported her career. So I don't think that you're a misogynist in any way.
That said, I stopped finding any kind of domestic abuse jokes funny years ago when a friend was in an (as we suspected and later found out) abusive relationship, and we heard her partner making all those jokes. While he was publicly making those jokes he was privately doing exactly what he joked about. So, I do worry that having that kind of normalising humour in public can be a problem. It's simply not funny.... not when domestic violence is off the charts in so many countries.
As for your particular joke, I did read it and wince. But I wasn't bothered enough to comment or send you a message. I still think you're a good guy, but this was not your best comment perhaps. 
Oh don't worry, if she's smart enough she knows she's wrong. She will silently sit in a corner and reflect about how to get out of the hole she dug herself. That is, if she's smart. Then you can guide her let her understand that with that behavior she is burning bridges for her future. Or whatever you want to help her with. Little advice, if she really is smart, she just needs guidance, ask her questions, never try to argue with a Chinese girl, they'll argue you to death! If she's an airhead, well then good luck, she'll never stop yelling at you when you tell her she's mistaken...as she wont see past her short sight. Good Luck.
I've dated some pretty batshat crazy girls, and none of them acted like that. I say pack your stuff and find another girlfriend. She sounds mentally unbalanced.
Reasoning with women:
I dont think you can.....
GuilinRaf:
As to screaming, I cannot deal with that. I just walk away. Same if they hit. I rather be single than be yelled at or beaten.
If there was a book it would be next to my one How to win a argument with a Chinese Girl
In the Fiction Section!
It is written on the back of your hand. Be sure to have her become very familiar with it.
*ouch* It was a joke honey, really! *ouch* ...oh, my ears... Good thing I got air-conditioning installed in the dog house.
Traveler:
That's quite disturbing that you find violence against women something to laugh about. I actually expected better from you, of all people.
ambivalentmace:
he is joking about violence against men not women, the man always gets the doghouse in the west especially if you forget her birthday, our anniversary and god forbid dont notice her new hair style.
Traveler:
I'm not sure how a man hitting a woman with the back of his hand is violence against men. However, violence by women against men is also an increasing social problem, and also not a laughing matter.
Maybe in China it is acceptable, but in Australia, either crime will get you locked up in the watchhouse, not the doghouse.
Xpat.John:
Playing the "politically correct" card? Really? This is what they call "black humor". Or do you consider that comment racist because it mentions the color black?
Yes... Beating women bad. But, to be honest, if the world gets to a point where people get offended by everything, then there will be no humor of any kind. Because even a simple "Knock Knock" joke can be considered offensive because some people are homeless and don't have doors you can knock on.
Traveler:
Normally I wouldn't consider a reference to the colour "black" racist except for the fact that you felt that it might be, along with your whiney little post about Obama being elected (totally non-China related) answers.echinacities.com/question/it-looks-4-more-years-obama
It is also interesting that even though at least 3 people have down voted the comment about violence against women as offensive, you still seek to justify it as humourous. Most people would have just deleted the comment.
i love the temper tantrums, just tell her to leave or start packing your bags, when she sees you want put up with a child, she will straighten up or good riddance. if she resorts to violence or throwing things , leave immediately and dont look back. i would personally leave when violence occurs even if children are involved but i am truly an asshole.
You can't ask Chinese women questions, that causes pressure, because you won't like the answer that she has and won't give you.
If there was a Women For Dumbies book, Chinese edition, it would be the thinnest book ever written. 3 pages with only a few words, p.1; shut up, p.2: duck, p.3: hide. No need to read about your problem, just randomly open the book for the solution.
And then we see questions saying 'why aren't there more women on this site....?" Facepalm.
This particular girl sounds mental; don't blame the rest of womankind. If you're happy being treated like that, stay. If you're not, leave. It's not bleeding rocket science.
Xpat.John:
MissA,
Let me ask your perspective, as it is one that I respect. Do you think I stepped over the line with my "answer" to this question?
MissA:
Hi John. Actually the facepalm was aimed at the OP, not at you. Sorry if it looked that way. It drives me mental when one girl acting strange becomes an 'all women' thing.
You've posted here for ages and I've read enough of your posts to know that you're a decent guy. You've written in the past about your wife being a powerful woman, and that you've supported her career. So I don't think that you're a misogynist in any way.
That said, I stopped finding any kind of domestic abuse jokes funny years ago when a friend was in an (as we suspected and later found out) abusive relationship, and we heard her partner making all those jokes. While he was publicly making those jokes he was privately doing exactly what he joked about. So, I do worry that having that kind of normalising humour in public can be a problem. It's simply not funny.... not when domestic violence is off the charts in so many countries.
As for your particular joke, I did read it and wince. But I wasn't bothered enough to comment or send you a message. I still think you're a good guy, but this was not your best comment perhaps.
