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Posts: 371

Shifu

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Q: Is beating your wife and/or girlfriend illegal in China?

I recently heard the famous Li Yang, from liyang's crazy English ,took his hand to his American wife. Reason, I don't know. Like all women she probably talked too much.
My question is: is it legal or illegal to beat your wife and/or girlfriend/mistress in China.
Some may argue a monthly beating keeps them in line but for a reason we banned it in the west.

12 years 27 weeks ago in  Culture - Lanzhou

 
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Comments (39)
Posts: 1911

Emperor

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I would hope it's illegal. I would hope that Chinese law has progressed enough to make it illegal. Enforced would be spectacular too, but I'm doubting that.

I don't care who you are or where I am, you backhand me and you're going to be tasting your own sack. I think, if given the chance, that would be the first thing I would teach Chinese women. Angry

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12 years 27 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1197

Shifu

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It's illegal but just like most other illegal things in China, it happens all the time. Far more often than in other parts of the world. Sad

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12 years 27 weeks ago
 
Posts: 791

Shifu

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Illegal? Only if they complain to the authorities......or to the newspaper.

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12 years 27 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1008

Shifu

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Well let me clue you in a little info. Chinese women are more abusive than the men. Verbally and physically. They will be the first one to strike you, then bash you with words even as the man is walking away trying to avoid any more abuse.

This may not be all of the Chinese girls but they are surely the majority. I see it almost everyday walking around the streets, men bowing before the women, women slapping the men repeatedly, pointing in the direction of their face as the men bow their heads in disgrace.

There are multiple articles in the Shanghai and Beijing newspapers about these stories.
I taught socialology for a semester at a large Unviersity in Tianjiin as a favor for a Chinese friend, we had indepth topics of cultural and traditional factors in China that have changed and formed new cultures and traditions.

The women all agreed with one thing, quote" We are the Kings now, our status has changed in China".

If their is a law for spousal abuse in China, it should be like America, it's a two way, boys keep your hands off, girls, keep your hands off. You want to step up like a man, there will be men who will step up to you.

Don't give me that men shouldn't hit girls even if they hit first. Neither should be hitting or using verbal abuse to esculate a physical response. Angry

beaufortninja:

If you laid down the law at the very beginning then you wouldn't ever have to worry about getting into a physical altercations with your woman.

12 years 27 weeks ago
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crimochina:

exactly beaufort: you make it clear at the begining what you expect and everything will go smoothly or it will simply end

12 years 27 weeks ago
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HugAPanda:

laid down the law? Seriously? This isn't 1952. Lay down the law my ass. Thank you for trying to push back equality back to before we were granted the right to vote. Nobody should be hitting anybody, unless it's self defense. I am anti-abuse... and pro.. equality. Is this what the western men in China think? Is that what western men go to China for? So they can lay down the law on their women?

12 years 27 weeks ago
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crimochina:

hugs: you clearly mis understand the point. lay down the law means to make it clear what you expect, what you will not tolerate. women lay down the law all the time. "if you cheat i will ..." "i will not cook and clean everyday i'm not a maid ..." now calm down and lets talk about replacing your toys with the real thing ;)

12 years 27 weeks ago
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GoldenBoy:

I have seen these women that verbally abuse men in the street and hit them on the shoulder with their puny fists. It is true the women start it but I've always seen the men end it. Usually with a kick or punch to the face.

12 years 27 weeks ago
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12 years 27 weeks ago
 
Posts: 5539

Emperor

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the law is no two way in america (not enforced anyway)
you are clearly wrong, the majority no way. i have dated roughly 10 women since i came here all except one was a little abusive when i ended the relationship
where i did see a lot of abusive females are the "high maintenance" usually ex hookers type. remember many (i did not say most) men here including expats marry their hookers (why i could not imagine). on average the women here would go along with their husband decision after a discussion or with no discussion. many guys also are very dependent and want a mommy so you will see that also. but to say the majority of women are abusive, you are way off base.

HugAPanda:

Yeah, the law in the US is two ways, and is enforced.

12 years 27 weeks ago
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crimochina:

hugs i was married, for 2 years i know for a fact that domestic abuse laws are not enforced, a judge threaten me with jail time if i didnt drop my assualt charge against my ex. and numerous times she was referred to as the victim. i was ordered out of my apartment for 2 weeks because she punched me.

12 years 27 weeks ago
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kchur:

Jesus Christ Crimo. You are just a big cesspool of wrong.

12 years 27 weeks ago
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crimochina:

i look at it this way when you are dumb enough to marry someone because they are great in bed you leave the door open for awful things to happen. as long as i got out quickly without creating any babies and a clean record.

12 years 27 weeks ago
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HugAPanda:

Dude, you had a bad judge then. Not only is it enforced, there are support groups for men who are victims of domestic violence. And most of the abusers are serving their punishment. I am a strong opponent of domestic violence in my region and am invited often to speak at rallies and other events. I've seen battered men, listened to their stories... just as I have women and children. I am also the administrator for a group of faculty and students at the college I teach at who are making a stand against domestic violence. My group works in the community to educate and raise awareness not only to common folk, but with police, teachers, emergency personnel, medical personnel, and yes, those who work within the court system. The issue for male victims is that they don't report the abuse because they feel it isn't the manly thing to do or are afraid if they report it, they will be laughed at. Unfortunately, with the old timers on the police forces and sitting on the benches, this does happen. Because men don't come forward as often, it's going to take work to get the STIGMA to change, but the laws are already in place. The laws are there... they don't state beating your wife is wrong, they are called domestic violence or spousal abuse (gender unspecified) laws.

12 years 27 weeks ago
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HugAPanda:

Actually, I do worry that my work agaisnt DV is either going to keep me from going to China, or get me kicked out... because I am not one to keep my mouth shut.

12 years 27 weeks ago
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kchur:

Crimo, didn't you accuse me of not being manly enough because I don't like sticking my penis in every walking STD with a pulse? And now you're crying - on the internet - about being hit BY A GIRL??

12 years 27 weeks ago
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kchur:

Seriously, though, go to that support group. You and your other macho friends can "hug it out" or whatever you sissies have to do to cope with your delicate, glass-like emotions.

12 years 27 weeks ago
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GoldenBoy:

You are seriously deluded if you think it is two way. Sure a man maybe able to get some help, but how many stories of a man being hit by his wife ends with the police laughing at him and telling him to be a man. The other way round the man would be shipped off and charged for assault. That's western equality and anything else is a delusion.

12 years 27 weeks ago
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crimochina:

kchur: lets get something i filed charges because she was trying to claim i was abusive i was lucky to catch it on tape . (i had to install video surveillance so i wouldnt be jailed off a false complaint) now you want to call me a sissy, send me a PM tell me which city your in i will be sure to find my way there for the national holiday. tell me to my face I'm a sissy) not only that i'll give your wife something so good she'll never be able to go back to you. what a man says in a forum like this he can repeat to another mans face remember that

12 years 27 weeks ago
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HugAPanda:

That's exactly why men don't report it, because they are afraid of being laughed at. But the ones that do, the strong ones... their abuser serves time or pays fines or whatever is deemed appropriate. A few years ago, we forced a judge into retirement because he always sided with the women no matter how much evidence was presented in the man's favor.

12 years 27 weeks ago
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TedDBayer:

What other reason is there to get married than she's good in bed? Do take this piece of nasty to be your lawfully wedded wife? OMG you guys marry your hookers? I met one and I can't stop thinking about her, what a sweet heart.

12 years 27 weeks ago
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kchur:

Other guys should laugh about it. Life is rough and a man needs to be independent, disciplined and strong to make it in the world. If you can't learn to take a hit from a girl, how are you going to survive in the world? I've been hit by guys twice my size (defending my girlfriend, my mother, or just in bar fights), but I take my blows, stand up, and carry on without crying about it. Wanna know why the Western economy still wont pick up? There are no adults left to become community leaders and keep society in operation. Everyone is going to support meetings or crying to politicians or trying to find someone to blame when their feelings are a little dented, or things aren't going 100% in their favour. No one can face even the most minor form of adversity with confidence. Look at crimo up there: he's the most bloated posturer on this site, but when I hurt his feelings, he has a little e-tantrum. He's a worthless kidult, the type that's driving the world into the ground.

12 years 27 weeks ago
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crimochina:

hugs: the sad truth is we live in a world where many females feel a false accusation is the answer to things not going their way. in america a man's life is ruined based on an accusation even if the accusation is proven to be false. Duke lacrosse players (coach lost his job, the program was suspended, and dont mention the effect it hand on those young men) the french guy and the hotel maid. (his political career is ruined) the countless athletes falsely accused but still had to pay millions (legal fees, settlements, lost endorsements) and no punishment against women who make false allegations

12 years 27 weeks ago
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crimochina:

kchur: being falsely accused and going to jail for it is something you would love you are just looking to go jail and "drop the soap" . if you want to call a man a sissy why not do it to his face? that's all im saying. maybe your wife needs to stop flirting with other guys in front of you

12 years 27 weeks ago
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Jnusb416:

Yeah, accusations can be awful. A friend told me once that she knew a guy, that his wife accused him of being a pedophile, even though he wasn't. Now he's stuck with that, he can't teach and he can't even see his own kids. You think women can't be as abusive as men? I think we can be extremely abusive, but not all abuse is physical.

12 years 27 weeks ago
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techezee:

crimo, I do understand what you're saying. And I'm sorry for that. I've seen the bad side of equality myself, got me in a lot of trouble when I was married in the States. I was just lucky, she finally really did go crazy and looked up for 2 weeks, this was the only chance I had to prove that I wasn't lying, she was. On the flip side, I am a legal adviser, I do work for one of the top international law firms in China. Trust me when I tell you, the majority are abusers, either verbally or physically. In the Beijinger, it rated Chinese woman at 90% more likely to create domestic violence than the man. More than 60% of Chinese divorces are now being started by men, not the woman. It is the main reason the law has been changed to a woman no longer is able to take the house of the man unless they stay married for at least 5 years and children are part of the picture. In two years, we've seen more and more men walk in the door with pictures that would horrify you. Yes they may be small, but was does strength have to do with metal poles, beer bottles, knives and so on. I have a Chinese wife, and I'm happy to say that for the most part she isn't like that but I've never experienced verbal abuse like I have from a Chinese woman, at work and at home.

12 years 27 weeks ago
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kchur:

Put yourself in their shoes, man. Not a day goes buy when I don't want to beat an arrogant, lazy, loudmouth Chinese guy to a living pulp with something heavy and they have to live with the dudes. If anything, Chinese female domestic abusers are the victims here.

12 years 27 weeks ago
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crimochina:

i hear what you're saying techeze but i just dont see it in my experiences with the women here they are so polite they dont raise their voices or act up. maybe they wait until after the knot is tied

12 years 27 weeks ago
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12 years 27 weeks ago
 
Posts: 3

Governor

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Yeah it is illegal to beat people in China. However like all crimes in China it is unenforced. If you are the victim of a crime in this country and you try to call the police you will get no help. First the police will try not answering the phone. Then if you phone repeatedly they will try saying its not their responsibility and tell you to go somewhere else. Finally if you convince them to help their "help" will be to blame the victim and say there is nothing they can do. The only way laws are enforced in this country is if a government or party member or someone with connections to said people is the victim of a crime. If you are a foreigner who is a victim the first thing the police wil do is check all your papers to see if there are any fines they can get out of you. If your papers are in order they will say "We can't help you. you should be more careful" Then they will go back to the police station to drink tea and smoke some more.

GoldenBoy:

My neighbor attacked me with a cleaving knife and that's exactly what the police did. They said there was nothing they could do because it was in the building complex.

12 years 27 weeks ago
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12 years 27 weeks ago
 
Posts: 61

Governor

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itz really unbelievable liyang's wife forgave him n went back to him, itz not the first time n will not disappear ok! stupid!! every one who is under DV but just tolerate it is stupid!!
the law against DV in china is useless unless u can give strong evidence to the court, or the policeman will just give u two a lesson n let it go. but it doesnt stop the DV.
n so many chinese women are just eating all the violence, what r they thinking about!! stupid!!

GoldenBoy:

His wife went back for the same reason she married him: Money.

12 years 27 weeks ago
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12 years 27 weeks ago

Lose once you get serious!!

 
Posts: 650

Shifu

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Yes, it's illegal in China.

Is it legal in ur country?

GoldenBoy:

illegal but Unenforced in China from what I have been hearing. The other day I heard a terrible noise from my window. I live on the 6th floor. Outside I saw a woman screaming at a man. She struck him on the shoulder. It didn't hurt him but he was carrying a baby in his hands. Suddenly he kicked her in the leg and to my horrified surprise he managed to kick her in the face twice. While she lay on the floor the 15 or so neighbors sat near them just watched entertained. I rushed to leave my house and slap the Han out of that sack of ****. But as my girlfriend stopped me the guy left.

12 years 27 weeks ago
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GoldenBoy:

By your short comment I believe you understand why this question is asked and have no real defense, even if you have tried in a lamentable fashion by saying nothing. Legal it may be but common practice also and unenforced.

12 years 27 weeks ago
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12 years 27 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1006

Shifu

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it's legal in many Muslim countries...

wenna7:

Shouldn't this answer be in comment column? Or be deleted? Black cat in the tie where r u? Why r u doing nothing?

12 years 27 weeks ago
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Njord:

China has a HUGE Muslim population so... I think my answer is appropriate and China related, I'm sure Cat is happy though you're assisting them in their jobs censoring, they work directly for you or does your department only intimidate them to do as you ask??

12 years 27 weeks ago
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crimochina:

wenna censorship is never the answer, leave the black cat out of this as much as possible

12 years 27 weeks ago
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12 years 27 weeks ago
 
Posts: 415

Shifu

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Reading these post make me think it is the same everywhere, the cops don't want to be involved, the poor little weak girl needs to be protected from the big bad bloke. Of course it is illegal to smash someone up, but you need evidence and if you are a peasant forget being supported by the law if you are a guy. Money talks and sorry boys, no money you get banged up, but can I say something...scream and dance and make complaints against the police and judges and they will back off because they know if you tell the truth they can't pin squat on you!!
Oh I love money money money money money and she loves my money!!

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12 years 27 weeks ago
 
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Emperor

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I really did notice women walking around with black and blue faces. I really feel sorry for so many in China. The Chinese will have to want change for it to happen and I did notice many just want to rip me off, but I had plenty that were nice to me.
I spent some time with one woman and we talked about life in China, she was Ok with he fact that if you get married, your husband fools around. I could not convince her that it was wrong. She was university educated. She just believes this is the way life is.

wenna7:

Seriously Ted??? Such thing never happened to anyone in my family... And if one day u see me walking around with black and blue faces, either my husband is in the hospital or he is in funeral parlor...

12 years 27 weeks ago
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TedDBayer:

yes wenna, I saw women wih black and blue faces , not just one bruise either,, i either joke around or I tell the truth,,,i wood not joke about this.

12 years 27 weeks ago
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12 years 27 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2604

Shifu

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If you beat your wife, it is illegal in China. And no we did not ban that in the west. It still happens! Another point you make about half way down near the end of your discussion you have a statement about a monthly beating keeps them in line. To me I think you might feel it is good to have beaten some women senseless. But reality shows the facts and the evidence that clearly show that a monthly beating does no way shape in form in the manner that it was received benefits society or keeps them in line. If anything it is abusive and disruptive behavior that does not go unpunished, unnoticed or unwarranted. The law will catch up to the perpetrators as the laws in Congo caught up to the perpetrators committing crimes of violence in the rape capital of the world in Congo. So if you think beating any women in China keeps them in line on a monthly basis your sorely mistaken and have to check your facts twice before assuming that these actions benefit the lady that is getting beat. 

tmestep8:

Yes, domestic violence is very illegal in "the west", your "home", idiot.

12 years 17 weeks ago
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HugAPanda:

Idiot. Maybe in North Carolina, China it isn't banned, but it most certainly is ILLEGAL in all 50 American States, including North Carolina. You are nothing but a buttfucktard. Idiot.

12 years 17 weeks ago
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crimochina:

"ban that" you clearly arent american

12 years 17 weeks ago
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fish79:

Man alive! But I wish you weren't.

12 years 17 weeks ago
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Jíliú.hé:

dude the Congo has yet to stop being the rape capital of the would and oh my god how do you keep track. here watch this it will make you cry

Save Gorillas - Recycle Your Phone - YouTube oh sorry that one makes you laugh and cry

here this one make you cry

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCUtElvg0F4&feature=related

 

really watch these everyone  i am not joking. 

11 years 51 weeks ago
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12 years 17 weeks ago
 
Posts: 9192

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I grew up in a rough neighborhood. I hung around with bike gang members  since I was eleven. I'm not afraid to mix it up. It's OK for guys to fight. But not beating women. If I saw someone beating a woman, I'd drop him good and then leave. Some guys that beat women are just mean. There is no changing them. Women won't leave them. The woman would be just as inclined to come at me for beating her guy.. Screwy?

Jíliú.hé:

 

Same thing would happen to my uncle. Some slut would start hitting on him at some bar, and them her boyfriend would show up grab her and start poking my uncle and threatening him and saying he was going to kill him and teach her a lesson and my uncle would beat the guy bloody. Then the girl would get pissed and try to hit him with a bottle. Some girls feed off the drama man fact of life.

No my family does not go around picking fights. We pick cheap liquor which just so happens to often comes with fights

11 years 51 weeks ago
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12 years 17 weeks ago
 
Posts: 277

Shifu

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Well the Chinese use the verb 打 (da3) for a lot of things. It can mean anything from playing a game to punching a straw into a milk tea to beating your girlfriend.

 

My ex gf accused me of beating her because I picked her up and carried her out of my hotel room after she refused to leave.

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Shifu

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you have not stated what side you are on but it seems like there might be a hint of sarcasm, i hope.

 

but to answer i think there are laws but they are determined by where you live, and are vague about how bad the beatings have to be to be  illegal and who can decide. so i guess if you want to start beating your Chinese girlfriend go ahead, but keep in mind the might be okay with an American doing it.

indecision

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11 years 51 weeks ago
 
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