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paulmartin

Posts: 783

Shifu

Q: no means no

Why do Chinese people find it hard to understand that when you say no you usally mean it ,and its not open to bargaining

13 years 4 weeks ago in Culture - China

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emilychen

Posts: 121

Governor

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because some chinese like over thinking and like making things more complicated...although i am chinese,sometimes i also do this, even dont know why...maybe culture difference...

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13 years 4 weeks ago

crimochina

Posts: 5539

Emperor

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emilychen heres how you stop that bad habit , respect other peoples "no" the same as you would want your "no" respected when a guy asks you for sex

western men are taught to respect "no" in china it is common for under 14 year olds to have abortions and a 9 year old gave birth
but western men are thought of as perverts
(in case you cant figure it out the under 14 year old could only have been impregnated by a man, a chinese man)

Traveler:

Perhaps because the Chinese girls don't know they are allowed to say no, and probably don't understand the consequences of saying yes. There were quite a lot of articles in the Chinese and world press in 2007, about a school sex survey in Xuanwu. Of 2300 students surveyed, only 6 said they would say "no" if pressured for sex. The rest thought it was OK, as long as their boyfriends said they loved them. As I recall, about 10% claimed to have had sex before 13, 30% before 15 and 70% before 17, with the average age claimed to be 15. We all know that Chinese surveys should be taken with a grain of salt, and that the respondents don't always answer truthfully. I had hoped this was the case, and that the figures were wrong. But as you point out, the rate of teen abortions and pregnancies is very high in China, compared to the west. So possibly the figures are indeed a real indication of the problem. Possibly this is due to a lack of real sex education, where the young girls should be made aware of the realities, and told that they can say no. And that seems to be a problem with many aspects of Chinese society. They cannot comprehend the consequences of their actions, and do not understand why foreigners should.

12 years 50 weeks ago

Perhaps because the Chinese girls don\'t know they are allowed to say no, and probably don\'t understand the consequences of saying yes. There were quite a lot of articles in the Chinese and world press in 2007, about a school sex survey in Xuanwu. Of 2300 students surveyed, only 6 said they would say "no" if pressured for sex. The rest thought it was OK, as long as their boyfriends said they loved them.

As I recall, about 10% claimed to have had sex before 13, 30% before 15 and 70% before 17, with the average age claimed to be 15. We all know that Chinese surveys should be taken with a grain of salt, and that the respondents don\'t always answer truthfully. I had hoped this was the case, and that the figures were wrong.

But as you point out, the rate of teen abortions and pregnancies is very high in China, compared to the west. So possibly the figures are indeed a real indication of the problem. Possibly this is due to a lack of real sex education, where the young girls should be made aware of the realities, and told that they can say no.

And that seems to be a problem with many aspects of Chinese society. They cannot comprehend the consequences of their actions, and do not understand why foreigners should.

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13 years 4 weeks ago

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Answer of the DayMORE >>

Q: Working two jobs simultaneously with a Z visa

A: No, it's not allowed to work under RP at 2nd job! I'd say, Z visa

A:No, it's not allowed to work under RP at 2nd job! I'd say, Z visa/RP sponsor can have an objections to your part-time job. I did the same at my English teaching in China and elsewhere, butT ... I casually mentioned at my prime job, some kindergarten or another school asked me to work with them part-time. Then, my Q: "Is that permitted?" ... Answer from RP sponsor was always "Yes, but you can't be late or miss the classes at our school ..." with my reply: "No, our work schedule has a priority, and I'll arrange classes at kindergarten only in my free time." When I cleared that, I was undertaking any extra teaching hours at other schools and private students in my free time.Sometimes, teachers at my prime job asked me if I'm willing to have some extra classes elsewhere.I accepted after the talk with School's principal. I suggest, you test the felling at your Z/RP sponsor and once you see they don't object, you can work at 2nd job. Keeping your 2nd job as a secret from your employer won't work, 'cause you're laowai and Chinese know exactly what you do in your free time. However, despite your employer's agreement for extra work, you are still in violation of Chinese Labour law, and even if your sponsor agrees to your extra work, you can still get in trouble, because it's clearly written (somewhere ... ) that under Z/WP, one can work only at the Z-sponsor and nowhere else. Penalties ... I'd say, there won't be any warnings and you'll be required to exit China in short Exit time.It never happened to me, so I can't really advice how is when manure hits the fan ... -- icnif77