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Q: What do you do to keep your spirits up in China?
Over the past week or so I've been slightly depressed. Not for any specific reason, maybe mars is in retrograde or something. But I noticed that things that I have normally brushed off about Chinese people, lately have been pissing me off. The staring, pointing, gawking, jumping back away from me like I'm some alien, the picture taking while I'm shoving food in my mouth, they way they stare at me confused when I get up and actually throw my trash away at a restaurant or at the park, them calling me African, Indian, Pakistani, Arab, even British, but never American. The way I constantly get called fat on a daily basis either by my students, their parents, or strangers.
All of these things have made me borderline depressed this past week. Normally if I'm feeling uninspired or bored I just ride around on my e-bike listening to music and singing out loud. But then two days ago I heard this song and my heart lit up with happiness. "I'm Proud to Be an American" by Beyonce. I had not thought about this song since I was a child, and then I heard her sing it, and I have had it on repeat nonstop for the past two days. Every time I see something that would piss me off, in my head I hear "..from lakes of Minnesota, to hills of Tennessee, across the plains of Texas, from sea to shining sea.." and I am happy once again. What do you guys do?
Listen fatso, to keep your spirits up, keep up your spirits. If you're on a budget, Chinese brandy is cheap and potent.
Happy honeymoon 
icnif77:
You always crack me up, when I'm reading your reply and imagine your avatar is talking
With the taste of some baiju's isn't the question more "What do you do to keep your spirits down in China?"
"To alcohol, the cause of and solution to all of lifes problems." HJS
That's a phase that is super-duper common amongst expats in China. Like you, music is a big help for me. I pick music that makes me dream, makes me high (Boards of Canada, Tame Impala, Com Truise, Bibio comes to my mind). Running does marvels. I will buy a ukulele and learn to play with it, specifically for this purpose. Double benefit is that I will be able to play silly lullabies to my yet-to-be child(ren) ^^
Looks like the honeymoon phase is slowly ending for you.
You will start to notice these things more and more, and for many of us, they never piss us off even 1% less,it never goes away. but the good news is it will slowly move away from depression and into distain for their entire existance.
Most people use good company as a way to deal. Although im guessing your not looking for a GF, perhaps doing activities that can introduce you to friends. Its always nice when you bitch and complain to other people that feel the same.
Truth is when you first come and you dont mind the attention it all masks the fact that China is an extremely lonely place, it take times to find your groove.
mike695ca:
haha @ royce that question is harder to answer than " what is the meaning of life?"
When you say it out loud it sounds absurd that anyone would stay, but i guess when we are in the situation everyone has their own reasons.
Fear of change? Fear of starting over back home with nothing? Family. Could be anything.
For me? Money. My wife is willing to go anywhere with me, so if I get a job for more money somewhere else, ill take it in a heartbeat.
WanderingTeacher:
Yup definitely not looking for a GF, don't need/want one. I do have people I socialize with, but they do not speak English so it's silent/grunt filled socialization from playing tennis or jianzi together. I should go hang out the university to see if I can find some other foreigners because besides my business partner and my older students, no one here speaks English enough to hold a conversation.
royceH:
And that's about the size of it. Leaving the major cities of the east out of it..virtually nobody can speak English.
And if it's an interesting conversation you're after...HA! ...good luck with that!
Robk:
Yup, these are totally normal cycles. The honeymoon phase is coming to an end... and you will bounce back and forth...
I know it is FUCKING ANNOYING as hell. But it is truly a test of patience...
I use trickery a little bit. Like riding my motorcycle with a full helmet.. they don't notice I am a foreigner. Going to the gym helps too, because I am a lot stronger than them (Chinese are pretty weak in general) and so if they stare then I just walk over to the machine they were using and double or triple the load and do it easily as if to say... "Keep staring and I will keep humilating you."
These are when I am in bad moods. Sometimes just talking a little to them makes them extremely happy. Chinese are SO out of touch with other cultures and international manners. Just think of them as curious children, because that is really what they are... so I keep my spirits up by reminding myself to focus on goals and not be distracted by others.
ho ho ho, to the baiju I go
to heal my heart and drown my woe
rain may fall, and wind may blow
and many miles be still to go
but off a bridge i will jump
and watch my life go flashing by
royceH:
Once a Scotsman, always a Scotsman... I bet you're disappointed in yourself to be accepting this jungle juice in comparison to a mellow scotch!
But seriously, I eat some pucking Kourou, and make love to my wife. Then all is well in the world again. Getchoself a wife, son.
WanderingTeacher:
I'm Gay, son. So that's not an option for me lol. Also I don't drink anymore..Chinese beer and wine makes me feel like shit..I can't handle this crap....I would kill for a good merlot though...I miss America 
Get rid of your e-bike. Those things are a damn nuisance. A much better option is a real bike. One that goes only under your own steam. Use it properly and it won't be long before your health and general wellbeing will be much improved.
And the very average local beer tastes a lot better after you've given yourself a decent riding workout.
Getting a bike will do you the world of good in more ways than one.
WanderingTeacher:
I thought about getting a bike but then I realize that means It would take me longer to get home and to the places I need to go, which really means I spend more time on the road with stupid Chinese drivers, which really means I increase my chances of dying by 63.7%. I've had 2 near fetal crashes in two months on my e-bike in only two months of being here. I can't imagine how more frequent it would become if I had a regular bicycle. haha
royceH:
No, you are wrong about this. The time thing...bicycles are incredibly free...especially in China where nothing is real.
On a bicycle you are the master of your domain...you can take it anywhere.
My experience is that I'm every bit as efficient as a bus, and a lot safer than a taxi.
And at the end of the day I feel well entitled to feel proud of myself.
As other had stated, you really should exercise more. There is little to no good reason to be overweight. The lonely aspect of China should push you to go to the gym, exercise, engage in sports, etc.. Just remember that exercise fills several social and emotional needs. To top all of that off, you get a nice endorphin high; which helps with depression.
Scandinavian:
Yup, a nice workout really helps clear a disturbed mind. It is high up on my toolkit for dealing with stress. (sadly my stress toolkit is currently stacked under my box of tools for being lazy)
To everyone commenting about me working out to help the depression, I already do workout, as I did in America. I play tennis for 3 hours on Saturday and Sunday afternoons. On Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday nights I play Jianzi in the park with some locals for 3-4 hours. So the only day I don't actually work out is Friday, which helps my knees recover from Jianzi and prepare for tennis.
I'm not fat from a lack of exercise, as I have always been very active (played tennis since age 11 and into middle school, high school, and college), but with my activity comes a big appetite and unfortunately I have always craved fattening foods. Since coming to China and not having the same food I normally crave (Key Lime Pie, Cheesecake, In N Out, Bottomless Wings and Fries, etc) I have dropped 10kg.
Vallyntin:
You do know that foods high in fat have a negative impact upon your psychological state right? Diets high in fat are strongly linked with feelings of depression and anxiety. You can do the research yourself. Furthermore, if people are calling you fat, you're haven't lost enough weight. You should thank people that remind you to live a healthier lifestyle (even though they are rude assholes usually).
WanderingTeacher:
Obviously I have not lost enough weight yet, I've only been on my new diet for 2 months and I also weighed 150kg when I first got here, so it will be a long while before anyone stops calling me fat. Also I was never depressed eating fatty foods when I was in America, but that's beside the point because that has nothing to do with why I have felt bouts of depression now, as I have already said that since coming to China and not having access to those foods anymore, I have lost weight.
Now my diet mainly consists of veggies, fruits, and very little meat. My weight loss is not attributed to an increase in exercise, it's due to the change in my diet. I didn't change my diet to lose weight, because I've always been happy with my body. My diet changed because I came to this place where I don't trust the food. I may be overweight, but I'm healthy, strong, and very agile. I'd like to see you hold a scorpion pose and standing bow pose for 5 minutes after playing tennis for 3 hours straight and then tell me I'm the one who is not healthy 
And FYI, when you give advice, you sound like one of these rude assholes you just mentioned. But I guess you should probably thank me for reminding you think about how the tone of your message may come across to someone, regardless if that tone matches your intention right? 
Vallyntin:
Thanks for reminding me. I love being told to watch my tone by a fat asshole who can doing a standing scorpion. 
Do you do that scorpion shizzle when beating off? What's the benefit? Don't tell me you're the Chinese Fatso Foreign Yoga Instructor? How much does that pay?
WanderingTeacher:
LMFAO! No, really thank you for the laugh, I needed that. I'm not going to school you on the benefits of yoga, if you don't already know, then feel free to do your own research, it's extensive. I've been do this since I was 11, and actually do in fact I do teach yoga at my school as well. It's interesting, a lot of Chinese people don't know anything about yoga. They see me doing it in the park and are fascinated. My students like it too, so I teach them and their parents for free on the weekends, no need to charge them, they already pay me way more than they should for me to teach their kids haha. Also, there's no such thing a standing scorpion because it would be impossible for you to stand if you were in scorpion. Again, feel free to do your own research. Have great night my friend 
Review of Chinese Merlot:
http://www.sasev.org/journal/list-of-journals/aroma-evaluation-of-young-...
Whole analysis and contact number of Chinese analyst (PDF) L. Zhang E-mail: zhanglgrace@163.com, tel: 86-15229271810; Fax: 86-029-87091994 for advice on best retail in China.
When I still lived there, I had friends, a girlfriend, and lived with my family, so it wasn't too bad, although a bit boring sometimes.
Then I went to Qingdao last semester as part of an exchange program between my school in France and the Ocean University of China.
It turns out not being with those people I had in Beijing sucked (who would have thought!). Being surrounded by people who are discovering China when you're no... isn't really fun. Also there's all the annoying stuff about life in China, you know what I'm talking about.
Hopefully, last summer, before going to Qingdao, I remembered a special someone. Someone who means a lot to me, and with whom I'd been through a lot. Despite my year long absence, he had been patiently waiting for me, and was willing to help me fight this 4 months long boredom.
-"Are you ready for Pandaria?", said the lvl 85 Goblin Arcane Mage.
Go out and punch the first jerk you find right in the middle of the face. You'll feel immediately better.
The question that's missing from the above answers is, is this your first trip away from home?
I have lived in a few different places, and even when I moved to a new town in my home country I would be hit with a massive depression after a few months.
My last big "life move" was moving to China full time a few years back, and this time it took two years for the depression to hit.... and boy oh boy did it hit hard. I had no idea what was going on and I was like a zombie for two months.
You are doing well if it has taken two months to hit you on your first trip. To me, that says you have fantastic inner strength.
Or to put it another way, what you are going through just now will pass in due course. And after it passes, you will come out stronger for having experienced it.
Life is too short to stay at home because of fear of the downs
royceH:
Classy answer.
Most people stay home their whole life...the more intrepid of us seek something else.
WanderingTeacher:
Haha no this is not my first move. I moved 6000 miles away from home 3 days after I graduated high school and didn't bat an eye. Then moved atleast 7 times in the 6 years since then. I'm not afraid of moving or new cultures or anything like that..in fact I need constant movement and new scenery to see and explore. This however is my first big move that was outside of my country, America. So that may slightly have something to do with it since China is backwards in so many ways from America. I also realized yesterday that I use to do yoga every morning and meditate twice a day every day back in America, and since coming to China, I had not done either at all. This morning I went to the park with my yoga mat and got into my groove and my inner buddha, and I feel 1000% better. I guess it's all a state of mind at the end of the day lol :)
ScotsAlan:
Interesting that you think China is backward compared to America.
It's not backward, it's different.
The bloke who was here when I first got here (remote north west Xinjiang) was 195 kilos. He was a giant...6'4". But he told me he'd lost 75kg since he'd arrived a year before.
He rode a bicycle and never used the elevator to his 5th floor apartment..right across from me.
Why?...there was no elevator!
And he stuck to Uighyr food....little oil.
WanderingTeacher:
Haha I live on the 5th floor and have no elevator either..I'll never forget that first night when I arrived at 11:45pm, tired as hell with 2 suitcases and us walking up the stairs to my apartment..I wanted to cry at the realization that this was about to be my daily existence haha. I guess I should get a bike..but it hurts my ass so much...grr
Kind of depends on where you are. Just put in the earphones, turn up the Dylan and get some one-way lens sunglasses and Robert's your mothers brother
