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Q: Are there any funny Chinese jokes?
Ok, I asked to hear some western jokes earlier, as I miss them, and this particular request was promptly denied and my message was disappeared. Fair enough, I guess it didn't fit into the criteria of relevance to life in China. So here I am again, still hungry for humour, but hoping for that ever elusive pot of gold that we're not really sure exists: a Chinese born joke that survives translation to bring that much sought after commodity, laughter, to our western ears.
So come on China, tell me a joke. Make me laugh. I dare you.
Ok, is it my imagination or did I just see a ball of tumbleweed roll across the screen?
Chinese jokes are not funny. Most of them are either lame or creepy.
Chinasmack has some jokes. Some of them are still funny even after translation. Not laugh out loud funny, more like a smile or "oh, yeah" funny.
A single Chinese man owns a Chinese restaurant, and one day a beautiful Chinese woman walks in. He immediately walks over and asks her out on a date. She agrees. They go out for a while, and soon, the man proposes to her. She says "Yes, but before we do, there's something you must know. I have never had the sex, but I've read about it." He says that it's not a problem, and they are married.
On their honeymoon, the man tells his wife that since she's a virgin, she can choose what they do first. She says "Oh, most honorable husband. I am honored to be your wife, even though I have never had the sex, but I've read about it. So, I have chosen to have the 69.
The husband looks confused, and after thinking about it, he says "You want.. the beef and broccoli?"
Gaohao:
Was that a Chinese joke translated into English or just a westerner's joke about someone in China? Either way it was funny. Cheers.
Here were some more...
a chinese woman is on the bus with her 5 yr old son and the boy says mom i have to pee, she says you can wait , we only have 5 bus stops to go, the boy says i have to pee now , i cannot hold it, so a passenger says you can get off next stop and board the next bus , the boy says mom open your mouth so i can pee in your mouth, the passenger says your mom cannot do that and that is very rude. the boy says why not , my dad always does this to my mom , why cant i do this.
Here is one..
A man was using a public bathroom stall hearing a greeting from the one next to his " hello there"
With a hi, the man was feeling strange and thinking to himself wondering if the neighbor was one of his acquaintances, why he was talking to him. Then again from the neighbor " why do you come here?" came to his ears, but he answered " what else would I come here for? taking a piss". Again, there came " when will you leave?". With a strong sense that the neighbor might be restarted, the man threw back a careless answer " I will go after I'm done here". " Then would you come to join me afterward?" from the neighbor. " oh, damn, it has turned out to be a homosexual" the guy was thinking to himself and cursed to the neighbor " you stupid idiot, go to hell!". Then, from the neighbor came the " I will hang up here and talk to you later, since there is an idiot here who has been cutting in our conversation."
I got my students to translate jokes in one class. One I liked;
If there are 4 birds in the tree, and you shoot one, how many birds are there left?
None. *Chuckle chuckle*
What do having sex in a canoe and Chinese beer have in common?
Both are f**king close to water.
Scandinavian:
this is not funny
1. The joke is obviously re-written as it originates from the discovery that Budweiser sucks
2. How is it possible to tell that the Chinese beer resembles water, no one has ever tasted the Chinese water and lived to tell about it
