I’m from Lon­don, UK. I live in Beijing and just past my first year. I have a big query about a Chinese guy. We met when I first arrived in China on my first day of work. He’s local and was very friendly from the first day. After a few weeks I real­ised that there’s a mutual attrac­tion. He star­ted star­ing a lot and turn­ing around. Then he star­ted chat­ting to me. Because we work in a government agency I was always wary of starting some­thing. There is this rule prohibiting foreign­ers and local staff hav­ing a relationship. Foreigners and loc­als can’t get together at work; it’s definitely forbidden. In the sum­mer we had lunch a few times. He seemed to ask about my fam­ily and plans for the future. I know Chinese men are very long term and think about mar­riage when dat­ing. So I decided to not be too obvi­ous that I liked him in the office. Then in the autumn I went away a few times on vaca­tion and when I came back he was really pleased to see me! He was keen to know who I went on hol­i­day with and asked if I went with boys or girls. It seemed like he wanted know if I had a partner. Just before christ­mas I decided to make a small move and text him. I invited him out for a cof­fee. He replied within a minute! We had din­ner and the chem­istry was undeniably difficult to hide. I think he was pleased I made a move. My Chinese female friend said that he would never have asked me out.  When I came back from christ­mas he discovered that he’s going to Cam­bodia for a job pro­mo­tion with the com­pany. I’m aware he was inadequate with his cur­rent job pos­i­tion. He fin­ished uni­ver­sity later than usual. Again he asked me my plans for when my China con­tract and visa expire. I said to him I’m unsure and will see how it goes. At our Chinese New Year party he jumped up on stage and hugged me and gave me a flower. He is now away and it was pleas­ant good­bye. He invited me to visit and said to keep in touch. I don’t think he would invite just any­one to visit, so I feel pos­it­ive about this. I decided to give him 2 months to settle in and leave him “be”. I emailed him just a short email, hi etc. He replied quickly and said that it was nice to hear from me.  A pre­vi­ous for­eign col­league 3 years ago lost his job because he was dat­ing a chinese col­league from the same office so I am kind of sure it is about that. He went out of his way to know me. My other male chinese col­leagues haven’t made so much effort so he stood out. And of course he’s at that mar­ry­ing age. I’d love to know your thoughts! In the last email I sent I said to him that I’m leav­ing our com­pany. I told him I was in Eng­land on hol­i­days and didn’t men­tion any­thing about vis­it­ing him. A few lines about work. I asked him about his work that he is doing over there. He replied promptly and said sorry and that he feels bad for not being in touch as much. He also said I can visit any­time I like. He actu­ally men­tioned some places and sights that he wants to show me while I’m there — so that makes me think he’s put a bit of thought into it. He also signed the email with his real Chinese name which he’s never done before. Thanks and best wishes