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Q: Do you ever get angry simply to get your way?
In Chinese culture, people believe getting angry and losing your temper is synonymous to losing face - as such, immediately if someone gets angry, the other party will often back down or try to placate said person, just to avoid losing face themselves.
Now I'm wondering if I'm the only one to have done this, or if any of you also occasionally (when the occasion calls for it), get angry just to get your way?
I don't get angry just to get my way. I've gotten angry many times in china but for just causes. One time someone at the fast food place told me I didn't pay the right amount. I knew I did and eventually they gave me my food. I was at an arcade one time the coin didn't work so I had the guy try another coin that coin didn't work. He took both coins and walked away. I could understand what they were saying but they didn't understand me. I got an english speaking chinese guy to help me and eventually got the coin they took.
In China, getting angry alone will not get "your way", you will only lose face in the eyes of others. Now, SHOUTING loudly will work many times better that anger. Even if the shouting is done in English, and with a smile on your lips.....
Monterey:
its "lose", not "loose" Loose is what your pants are after you LOSE weight
DaBen:
Is it bad that I read Monterey's comment in a very angry voice that why it would make sure he got his way and you fixed the mistake?
HugAPanda:
Monterey, you forgot the simplest rule! It's Y'rou, silly.
When people follow me around screaming "HELLO" not just once but over and over again, sometimes I'll get angry at them, especially if they touch me. Likewise, I've screamed my lungs off at a few obvious scam artists who wouldn't stop following me. The message is always, "Leave me alone."
Monterey:
where the hell do you live where ppl are yelling HELLO behind your back? Certainly not in a first tier city, right?
kchur:
What? I got the Hello screaming way more in Beijing than I ever did in Hangzhou.
Monterey:
wow.....been in Beijing 3 years and I cant recall anyone screaming HELLO at me...ok, maybe once or twice but not something to complain about. Lucky I guess....
kchur:
I was way in the far south of the city, though, not downtown.
F*** face. I'm a total prick whenever someone has it coming.
All the time. When the gf says no sex tonight I get angry and say ok I go out and find someone who will. She says ok ok. If I say lets try this and she says no, I'm Chinese girl, we don't do that, I get angry and say ok I find another Chinese girl who will. Then she says ok I try. Works like a charm everytime.
You don't have to yell when you get angry, in fact not yelling and being calm works much better.
I employ the same tactics at our factory when I am not getting what I need.
thedude:
Ok I must clarify, I use this tactic at work for things I need doing business.
thedude:
It took long enough for the thumbs downs. I was joking people.
I usually become silent when angry, so it doesn't work for me. Keeping my calm but speaking loudly to show some authority works, on the other hand.
does this whole getting angry = face loss thing work with guys beating their gf/ wives in public?
i dont act angry
i dont get angry unless i have a very good reason some asshole tries to cut in line, or some retard touches me to be curious.
No i will never get angry, cause it is not in my nature to do that, so i wont just because it is needed. Be your self at all times and people will love you for that.
