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Sign up with Google Sign up with FacebookQ: Does your Chinese partner mingle with your non-Chinese friends?
My husband, who's Chinese, doesn't make much of an effort to get to know my laowai friends. I think the main reason is the language barrier but I also think that he's intimated and can't relate to them at all - so it's also a cultural barrier. Conversely, I have always made a big effort to get to know his circle of friends. I just can't help but think that he has an us vs. them mentality even though I'm a foreigner too. Has anyone else experienced something similar with their Chinese partners?
11 years 7 weeks ago in Relationships - China
Not at all, my wife always gets on well with my western friends. Equally I have always made a point of being friendly towards her friends, even though my level of language ability is terrible. It does help that our closest circle of friends are all westerners with Chinese wives so I guess there is something there for everyone.
Not at all... I am married to a Chinese woman, and we both get along and interact with all our friends, no matter Chinese or lao wai. However, we all have a tendency towards shyness when we do not understand much of the other language. It is normal.
We have a lot of mixed friends in Australia however in China I would have to agree that my wife would rather hang with her group than mix with Foreigners unless it is to help with one of her friends but that is the Hand I was dealt Great question
You can take the man out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the man. At least not without surgery. I think the "us vs. them mentality" mentality is so prevalent here it's to be expected to some extent but... Moonlake has your partner spent much/any time abroad? Maybe it's a new experience which makes him feel awkward and he needs more practice with strange foreign types .
That's how patriarchal societies work, the woman has to accept the culture of the man. As far as I understood you both live in China. Are you planning to have children in China? Are you planning to send future children to Chinese schools?
Back on topic. I guess your husband thinks that you two should hang out with laowai, but your clique, your closest circle should be Chinese. The only way you can force him to accept your culture and to feel closer to non-Chinese people is to take him to your country even for a short-term stay.