By continuing you agree to eChinacities's Privacy Policy .
Sign up with Google
Sign up with Facebook
Q: If you are tired of China, go home and don't look back.
As those who read previous threads of mine will know, I was declined a new visa.
Tbh, in many ways, I am happy it has happened. I was tired of that place a long time ago, and went home twice before.
The first time I went back to CHina, an agent lied to me about a job with EF. She sent me the contract and everything.
*Anita Wei is the name of the agent you should avoid in Sichuan/Chengdu. She also tried manipulating a friend of mine, called Mark. He was told to go and work for EF rather than Web. In the end, my friend found out that Web would pay him more, but EF paid more commission to the agents. You can guess what my friend decided to do.
The second time I came back was because I was able to come back to Shenzhen where I was offered six jobs. With SHenzhen being next to Hong Kong, I obviously decided to give it a go.
Fourteen months later, and after all the agro before, I am so happy that I did have to come back. I feel the weight and insecurity is off my shoulders. That being said, I could earn a lot of money if I come back, but money doesn't equal happiness. I feel healthier, happier, less stressed, and relaxed.
What I can say is; there is one reason why I wish I was still there, and that is because I love someone very much. We went through a lot together there, and it almost became a completely broken relationship. Instead, we are repairing it, and I really want her here in the UK with me, and it will happen. We will be together eventually.
What I can say to everyone is; China destroyed my life time and again. It is nothing to o with being away from home. It has everything to do with China being China.
I know there are many out there who feel exactly the same as I do. If you do, go home, or go elsewhere. China is not paradise. It never will be for as long as the atmosphere and rhetoric in the country is resentful and un-welcoming.
Of course, I can take some positives from my time in China, but I am absolutely happy that I no longer have to put up with that shit there.
Take heed all.
Best wishes to all.
I will always stay in contact with some on here. To share experiences and to mentor and counsel those who need it.
Carl
P.S. Hu Qiong.
I love you very much.
Hope you get your woman to the UK soon.
ironman510:
I've got a friend doing this as we speak, seems hard, must have close to 300,000 RMB in the bank to show you can support her and other stuff to get her a fiance visa or marriage visa.
If I have some piece of advise for people trying to make their place in China : never ever bend your principles and accept anything you don't actually agree with "because this is China and I need to be flexible". Don't be "flexible", set rules, because that's how you get respect, and never ever go all in without a plan B. Expect the worst while hoping for the best. Best happens sometimes.
This might close many doors and be very discouraging in the beginning, but this will make you China-bullshit-proof, so it is worth it in the long run.
OP, I hope you all the best.
I'd say if you can't handle China, yes then go, I never let this kind of stuff bother me. I do see a connection between you leaving China due to stress and you breaking up with your girl and stuff like that, but I also feel if you marry this girl it'll just end in divorce, You guys already broke up and now repairing it and you left china , then you came back, do you see that connection??
Sounds like you're not a committed type of person. I feel as a online friend I must say you need more time to mature and learn how to commit to goals and relationships in life and not allow the little sh*t to bother you. But it seems you give up more then you try to fix it for make it work..
Don't take it hard, no hard feelings, it's just something you can read between the lines in your post.
So my point is you gotta will yourself in for the long run, meaning you need to commit to longterm goals.. I've been here 12 year's legally and to do that I had to be flexible and think before acting. Staying here legally would have helped you. But you filled your passport will L or F visa's.
True as well...my first year was a nightmare because of Helen group...F visa, L visas, Hong Kong, endless bullshit...but I stuck through it and now it pays back. My 3rd year at my current Uni, they need my passport once a year...no health checks..They basically told me I can work here as long as I want.
All the best, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, so China will always be good in that sense. We all know she's a piece of work, dishing out the very bad with the very good. But it will have been an adventure if nothing else. 
Good luck, and enjoying life in the motherland, or whereever you end up. You've been an entertaining guy on this here forum.
I would like to just say "Thank you" to all on here.
I would also like to reply to Ironman,
You are right in a lot of what you have stated above.
The one thing I will say is that I am not one for giving up easily. At the end of the day, I stayed here for four years. I came back twice after going home for good beforehand.
I got divorced before because my ex-wife hid from me the fact that she had over-stayed her visa in the UK by a year - something I never found out until the new visa application was declined and the guy at the Consulate in Chongqing and I had a conversation about it with him carefully telling me what was wrong. I did come to CHina and marry my ex-wife after forgiving her, but things happened and I ended up leaving a son behind - something I think about every minute of everyday.
My current gf and I have not officially split-up yet. The problem is that, I wanted to bring her home one day, and for a number of reasons, mainly insecurity, it didn't happen. I then did something really bad which I have to live with for the rest of my life. Something which could have been avoided.
In ways, I should give up, but, that would go against what I am like. I don't give up easily. I love my girlfriend very much, and deep down we know that, if we were here rather tan there, things would be much better. I said before how I felt that she was a bit lazy. I felt she was at times, but do you know what, she changed for the better. She was brilliant in the end. I also said that I felt she had used me - something said with uncertainty, and mostly because I was feeling hurt because she went to go home without me.
Despite all the bad things, I know she is fantastic. No-one is perfect, right? But, she has a heart of gold. We all do things wrong from time to time, and make mistakes. When you truly love someone, you pull out all the stops to make it work. I did. I went through shit to make it work, which is why it hurts so much now that we are apart. Again, this is something that could have been avoided.
To give you an idea, she lent me money to re-new my visa. She also took me to see her family - including to visit her Dad's tomb on tomb-sweeping day. She took me to Beijing and did something really nice and thoughtful for my birthday. In return, I did what I could to help her at my home - back in the UK - so that she could have a good life when she went back there with me. When things were going badly, I did feel hurt.
I am typing this so that everyone can see that she is a good girl. Really. I hoped to take one positive away from me from my time in CHina. I am trying to make it happen. I need her with me.
I love my Miss Hu Qiong Godwin very much x.
Take it easy man. Give yourself a decent spell and come out fighting for whatever it is you want.
The journey of life has, and will always have, its ups and downs.
Most importantly, look after yourself. It's your life and you only get the one crack at it.
If you have a dream, follow it.
Okay??
Cheers!
i'm tired of China, but even more tired of western countries, and "western standards".
