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Q: Leaving China soon, what would you do on your final day?
When you know, you know, and I know so off I go. But what should I do on my final day in China? What would you do?
I would get myself hefty portion of dumplings with rice. You?
I would buy the biggest crate of Lao Gan Ma I can find, and I would send that to my new home.
icnif77:
Do you have Chinese character(s) for 'Lao Gan Ma'? Oh, I see, you can get it on Amason.
Cry with happiness.
Then tell China to go f**k itself.
Most likely trying to put my s*&t together after the massive abuse of alcohol of the night before.
I hope I won't end up with a a spray can of paint in my hand. It might be nasty.
andy74rc:
Oh, btw, as last memory, I want a picture of myself at the airport, just past the gate, producing an artistic Italian salute.
Honestly, I don't know because having been here a long time, home seems like a foreign land. Haven't been back since I landed here. What will I do on my final day here? Get drunk I suppose and get ready for the culture shock that will surely be waiting when I'm home.
I would go nuts... eat hot pot, BBQ and all that other good stuff...
Then I would go to a club and instigate a fight with the insecure men by dancing with their girl friends, but it would be a planned fight so I would have a bunch of big burly foreign guys with me (cause you know it will be 10 Chinese guys not just one).
Then I would go get a nice "massage" after the fight... I would bribe the cops so I don't get any punishment (one last bribe for the road)... Then late at night if I still had energy I would go around keying every black Mercedes benz and audi just to say thanks for cutting me off all those times.
And then finally at about 3am or so, I would light about 1000 firecrackers off in my neighborhood just before jumping into a taxi to go to a hotel and the airport... just to say thanks for all those wonderful times they woke me up at ungodly hours for random reasons.
That would be fun and satisfying!
DrMonkey:
The firecrackers festival at 3am is so obvious, nobody though of it. That, and triggering the alarms of every single electric bike in the block.
Robk:
@Dr Monkey - Exactly, it would be like a symphony of revenge.
Revenge is a dish best served... bright and noisy!
My final day is not yet at hand, but it's coming.
Giving your question some due consideration I'm inclined to think my final goodbye will be one of regret.....for China.
icnif77:
This tread is same as 'prisoners' would write about their life in gulag. I'm having fun all the time!
smoglife:
Greener pastures and all that. You spend time thinking I'm ready to leave and then you realize that you totally can.....Also pretty tired of being sick all the time. Definitely not adverse to coming back some day.....find a job where I can do a bit of both (the dream).
I think it is best to leave when you still have some love for a place and not total hate. And actually since making the decision to go I have enjoyed being here so much more.
andy74rc:
@icnif: yes. I feel like being in the movie "New York 1999".
Robk:
That's what I mean!
China is an awesome place to visit but not to live.
You appreciate it more when you know you are on your way out at a specific time.
icnif77:
@andy: I'll download it! Give few hours. Earthquake Aftershock? Why? I'm having blast in China! On the lunch break, I walk home together with the kids from School, and I (always) 'study' Chinese with them. However, kids cannot explain the meaning of the words I learn, so I must memorise 'melody' of the new Chinese word, till I return to the School's office. Back in the office, I always ask Chinese teacher for English translation of my 'melody'. Last Tuesday, she covered her mouth, and walked out of the office, after she heard my 'melody'. She couldn't even tell me the meaning. She just said once: 'That's very bad word!' Meaning of the 'new' word was 'forking cunt'. My Chinese 'teachers' are generally kids Grade 4 - 6.
andy74rc:
@icnif: it's not a Earthquake aftermath. Just watch it.......
You will find out several things after living China:
One of them is that you've become so physically sick, so intoxicated and that your whole body got so poisoned. You won't realize that much unless you leave China and wait let's say 2 weeks. You will find out your skin got smoother again, that those white or bruised spots on your hands have so nicely disappeared and you will remember of yourself as young as you were before ever going to China.
You will get back the shine on your face and the sort of joy you once had before stepping ever on China soil.
You will find yourself again rebellious and you will be encouraged to think and answer again as once you used to before traveling and making a life in China.
You will find the joy you've lost and you will feel again alive. If you felt getting older, getting out of China and after a certain amount of time you will feel rejuvenated and realize that in such short time you've got too old, abnormally old. You will be in awe when looking at yourself in the mirror that you're actually still alive.
Although changed, you will feel this better that you will wonder about 2 things:
1. Why did I spend so long time in China?
2. Why would I ever get back to this country?
If I were you, I would do nothing before leaving. I would just get ready and think of a better place and a better life somewhere where your youth is not so fast lost, your joy, energy are not so downtrodden, your future is not under consideration on a 1 year basis Visa fearing at the thought that you may not get it this time.
I would think of a place where life is much more appreciated, where hopes for a a life, a great project of life on a long term, the term I want not on a 1 year basis Visa, are not discouraged, jeopardized nor harassed once they come true.
I would think of a place where getting married is not an advantage for the Chinese partner, but a right for the foreigner too and cheer up at the thought that I won't have to leave my family, when time it comes only because the law states that you are to leave after a 5 years of stay at the same spot leaving behind your wife and kids alone for a certain amount of time.
If not thinking at all has become your second nature, I would not think either about anything above mentioned. I would just let things go by naturally. Anyway, everything I told you, it will happen anyway and you will start to think again...if ever you've stopped.
You will miss this and that according to how emotional, sentimental and rather nostalgic you are but, when you will find yourself the way you once were, you will ask yourself the questions above mentioned. You may be so sorry that you've wasted so much of your time, hopes, energy, values, endeavor and you may end up in a sort of mid age crisis, hurrying up " A la recherche du temps perdu" that is you will be on the pursuit of the lost time in China.
Maybe this is not the answer that you've expected, but comeback on this thread with your experience after leaving this country.
andy74rc:
Excellent post. Thank you.
As I already wrote in the past, milk the cow as much as possible and then leave for good. Being a long term expat in this place, I won't look back for sure.
Robk:
Jeez, you should make like relax mp3s for listening lol.
Good post, and it is true. I feel like I have lost quite a bit of my youth and my energy in China. There are just too many little things. The alarms going off, the firecrackers when I am trying to sleep... most people act like mindless zombies in pursuit if money and pleasing their parents by giving up their happiness.
China is awesome to visit and get a quick fix. But living here for more than 4-6 months at a time can really eat your soul. Because your mind set changes.
If you are a visitor you can appreciate the small things more and not have the thought that you need to CHANGE China because you live here. When you live in a place, naturally you want to modify it to suit you but in China that is impossible.
China is like the complete opposite of the Western world. Better to experience it than be to totally immersed in it for long periods... it leaves a taint on the strong and breaks the weak.
I never want to go home, I end up staying up all night with a girl for company and drink beer. I don't want to waste my last minutes in China. Last time, on the way to the airport I realized I had left a bottle of Baileys in my frig which I meant to drink, almost turned around, sorry I didn't, Guilin airport wasn't even open 3 hours before my flight. I had to wait outside with nothing to drink.
I might go all Tom Hanks and live in the airport, ensuring I don't miss my flight.
I think you should choose one thing, just one, your favourite China thing and do that properly. Injstead of rushing around getting last minute presents while needing to pack and say farewells and leaving in chaos. Just take it easy and go to your happy place.
I would probably try to see if my present record of 43 dumplings can be beaten... and maybe do an attempt at setting a good baozi record.
I will be sure that I will never and ever miss this country in anyway
Invite all of your real friends for a dinner at your favorite Chinese restaurant and roast China and your experience here. Before the dinner, go buy all your favorite Chinese goodies and stock up because you won't find them back home.
DrMonkey:
It's not like there are not much Asian goods shop anywhere... I found all sauces, ingredients, etc we use here, in such shops outside of a China.
What would I do on my last day in China? I would make a pile in front of the teachers' apartments of various items in my collection: socks that are so tight they cut off circulation, courses in learning beginner Chinese with instructions written in Chinese, Panda and Sanyo CD players that cannot read the CDs, shoes that hurt my feet, corduroy pants that look new but are worn out above the knees, gel pens that quit halfway down the refill, industrial strength toilet paper that reads "Mind Act Upon Mind", an HP printer that guzzles ink like an Indy race car, a hammer that has the handle inserted only partly into the head, books on teaching ESL written in grad jargon double-speak without any practical suggestions, LED flashlights that don't hold a charge, novels I bought at Shanghai Foreign Book Store for the classroom library about teenagers or women in foreign countries that students don't want to read about, three dead mobile phones, DVDs that won't play a 2nd time, a rice filled pillow, plastic shower heads clogged by hard water, plastic shelves that shatter after 3 years of holding medicine I forgot to label in English, extra plugs that don't fit any of the drains. On that pile of treasure I will pour my favorite brand of Moutai or baigiu and try to set them on fire with souvenir wooden matches I've saved from hotels. All the cats in the neighborhood that we feed with "Whiskas" can sit in a circle and watch the crazy foreign teacher babbling to himself as he feeds smelly yi jiao notes into the flames. Then I would howl like the fellow in the park does every day at 6 a.m. as I make dismissive Tai Chi slow movements in my dance around the flames.
Am I still here?
