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Sign up with Google Sign up with FacebookQ: Q for expat men, 'You can judge a (Chinese) man's character by what he does in his spare time.'
The coined phrase, "You can judge a man's character by what he does in his spare time," is something I often think about when I reflect on my own moral compass. I've spent a lot of my free time in China drinking, studying Chinese, working on an internet startup, and playing with my daughter. I feel like I lack real substance, like I could be doing a lot more. However, this is China, and according to Chinese standards, I'm doing ok. The question is, do you feel like your spare time activities in China serve as an appropriate measure of your character's quality, and how does it compare with our Chinese hosts?
In layman's terms, do you feel like your shit don't stink in China? Or, are you disappointed in your self progress like myself?
Spending time with your daughter,studying Chinese and working on your internet startup sound like worthy past times to me. As for the drinking, well who doesn't?
You spend time with your daughter : and that's one kid less with emotional development problem.
You study Chinese : you do an effort to integrate, understand a culture and a society , you challenge yourself to do something outside of your comfort zone
Working for a startup in your spare-time : you put extra effort to create something and secure some wealth for your family
You question yourself : you don't content yourself with "good enough" and you want to improve yourself.
Not bad For the drinking, as far as it's not an addiction that makes an hopeless drunkyard, it's fine.
I know what you mean...there isn't a ton of stuff to do here, really at ANY price. What I feel like i'm missing out on is good time spent with real close friends. Like getting your buddies together and going camping, off-roading or just for a hike. Going for long drives and exploring the countryside.
I don't think people here really have good hobbies. You ask 99% of people what they do for fun it's fucking Karaoke which seems pretty asinine. I guess out of all the recreational activities it's the least capital intensive. You can get a big group of people in a room and all you need is the space and a computer with the videos. Even bowling is priced as a luxury here because of all the equipment and maintenance involved. And of course for rich guys it's golf and for students it's "Play computer games"
All i have here is my career, which is great, but yes I do feel like i'm missing out on personal development cause there really isn't anything else to do!
expatlife26:
let me expand on that a little bit. I live in Shanghai so theres plenty to do but it's all expensive and fairly low quality...and then what isn't prohibitively expensive is unenjoyably crowded. I don't say that being a cheap-ass or anything cause i'm really not, but I resent paying $15 for a 2nd-rate game of bowling.
I guess i'm not blaming the Chinese for this, I think it's just the reality of overcrowding. Choose either expensive or crowded. Recreation has to be exclusive too or a bunch of loser old people and babies will ruin it for everyone.
What doesn't exist here are fun things to do with friends that are relatively cheap. Like a nice secluded lake, surrounded by good hiking trails within a 30 minute drive you can go visit with your friends for the cost of gas and some snacks. Secluded in China means either expensive and artificial or poor and disgusting.
I have a nice life here, dont get me wrong and i'm very lucky. I just the ceiling on how much fun you can have here is pretty low, no matter how much you make. At least for someone with my interests.
I find it impossible to make a fair judgment. Is it actually possible?
You sound well-rounded, responsible and ambitious to me. What the Hell else are you suppose to do? Stay up all night studying topology??
Carry on. Just my 2c
I generally disagree with the premise, but I don't spend much time judging people.
I dont agree with the premise only because your right in that China can make it difficult. And i hate the over crowding.
That said, all it takes is effort. Me and my friends make alot of effort to do stuff that doesnt include drinking. Well make a trip to the lake. Macau is close, so is hongkong. Beaches around. Hot springs in winter. Golf is expensive but driving ranges are not. High speed trains go everywhere and my friends are good in the sense that they habe no problem driving over 100k ( whats up with that anyways? Like an hours drive for them is equivalent to us driving from new york to LA. Oh maybe ill have time in the summer.)
Just find things to do. Laziness is a problem.
One tip. Dont go anywhere famous. Any mountain or lake deemed famous is hell. Instead , ask your friends for the WORST lake in the area. It will be dead, and with no decernable difference to the "famous" lake.
CharlieB:
Yeah, I have to agree. I always tell my gf I want to go to places of no interest. LOL
Totally disagree with that phrase, spare time is a spare time that every person should use to recharge themselves. Whether he is joining a charity organization or hanging out with his friend shouldn't validate whether he is good or bad. But perhaps I say this because i'm a lazy bum .
In my opinion, the best thing to judge someone's character is to see how they treat someone with lower status/position than them.