I have been dating this crazy chick for like 6 months now up till lately when she wrote me an offline message " will you marry me?". I replied her and said that Im not ready to settle down at this moment because I need to lay a good foundation first for the future. I don't wanna be a FATHER father but rather a DAD. Since then, she doesn't  communicate with me as she used to.

Anybody who has been through this?  Please I need your help?

Usually just being honest will do the trick.

I was just friends with a girl for 2 years and then after I recently broke up with my ex girlfriend we started dating.  After the first date she insisted that I commit to marriage and used the excuse that we have known each other for 2 years.

I had to explain that being friends before does not count and that I would need at LEAST 6 months with her before I could make that decision and I am certainly not going to make that commitment now.

She hasn't spoken to me since...which is good because I met a better girl since then.

If she really wants to be with you she will accept your choice...but bear in mind that they have enormous pressure from their family to not waste time and get married fast especially before they turn 25.  The older (26+) they get the more pressure they get from their family.

 Just tell her no why? I had one girl that wanted to marry me,the last time I told her no was the last time I saw her.

 If you are not ready or willing to get married, why should you. Even women at home pressure for marriage. I wonder how many guys just give in and never really propose to women. Women grow up to want to be married. We want to drive fast things and blow up crap, we never grow up.

tell her your family wants you to remain single to take care of them

RUN!!!!!!!!

go to the tallest building in your city

look down

do not jump. take pictures instead. ok?

go back and tell the girl you thought about suiciding off that building earlier, while naked, and talk about how insane you feel. tell her you're shenjingbing. tell her you HAVE DISEASE. tell her it's your life's dream to perform a dramatic suicide off the highest building in your city so everyone can stand around and take pictures of your lifeless corpse.

9/10 times she'll dump you for being a psycho................ if she doesn't dump you, she's either from Hunan, or she's a psycho... or both... and you should run.

Or you could just grow a pair and tell her the truth, that you're not ready to settle down, and you're just after vag. Do this so she doesn't waste her time on you. Most Chinese girls want to find husbands, not puckbuddies. They have enough shat to deal with thanks to many Chinese guys who just use them.

Ask her if she is prepared to buy you a house, car and look after your parents as it's part of your culture for getting married.

Get ready or say no. Simples.

You've been dating for 6 months? Why are you surprised that she asked? Many Chinese get married quickly, within a year of their first date. If you're not willing to marry her, she will probably move on a find a guy that will. After 6 months, even I'd be thinking about marriage, although I wouldn't expect an engagement quite that soon, up to a year is ok. If you don't have an idea by now whether you want to marry her or not, let her go. Don't waste her time. Hugh is right, don't be a wimp! Tell her yes or no, none of that wishy washy crap. Women hate that. I can understand how she feels. I don't date for fun, or to mess around. To me, it would be a serious relationship, with someone I would like to marry someday. If I didn't think it would work, or he would tell me he didn't want to marry me, I'd move on too.

I'm horrorfied that people think they should be able to determine how they'll be with someone 50 years from now from only being with them for a mere 6 months! Especially if they haven't been living together. (let alone not having had any crises or serious shit to deal with... like kids!)

6 months? Let her go! (unless you REALLY love her)

If she wants to be insane, then let her... doesn't mean you need to be!

Test her, tell her that America has made immigration nearly impossible and the possibility that you can immigrate her in the next two or three years would be difficult and they no longer accept applications to bring relatives other than the spouse, "actually true about immigration of relatives", if she reacts bad, leave her be, if not, could be something there. If she has fallen in love with you and you are an ESL teacher with not much money or prospects of buying a house or car, could be a green card hunter, good way to test her.

Marriage is a committment for life so if you don't feel ready, don't do it. Simple! You have to make it clear to her that you're in no rush, that if you two are meant to be together for a lifetime, then another year or five won't matter. She also has to be aware that a relationship takes two people and therefore requires mutual understanding and compromise. If she can't do or even just grasp that then you should really ask yourself is she's the right woman for you. If you bow down to her wishes about this life-changing decision even though you're not ready, you will spend a lifetime being the mute in your relationship.

Nowadays in china ,if a woman  doesn't care you have no house no car no money nor want to live in your own country,and want to marry you.Trust me! Dont let her go.She truly love you!  you may not easy to find a second one.Trust me ,I am a Chinese woman.

be honest.

Oh, you are in trouble!  You have to marry her now.  No choice.

According to Chinese customs, if the girl "asks" the boy to marry her, he has no choice but to marry.

The reasons for this are twofold. 1) Because the girl has lost face in asking, in order to help her keep some shred of dignity, the man is required to marry her.

2) Because there are fewer girls than boys in China, getting girls married is at a "premium" so any girl who wishes marriage is guaranteed her mate. This way, her ego wont be crushed and it will prevent her from "giving up" and living a life of embittered spinsterhood.

Do not try running away to your home country. You will be extradited and married to this girl. Your passport will be destroyed and you may even be locked  up inside  her house.

I once read about this young guy from some Western country. He was in this very same exact situation. Beautiful but crazy girlfriend who proposed. Even his embassy would not help, as they are more interested in "playing nice" with the host country rather than helping their citizens. Well, after a few months of marriage he did manage to escape from his wife's house and cross the border to Vietnam. However, three months later he was found and extradited and taken back to her house where his wife shackled him and then broke  his legs at the knees so that he could not escape again.
Very sad.

You may want to consider name change and plastic surgery....

Tell her no and go home. It took my parents 10 months before they got married, 10 years after that they wanted kill each other.

The only way out may be to marry another guy.

This is bullshit!! if you don't want to marry the girl don't. There is plenty more where she came from.

Do the bridesmaid.  Nothing will finish it quicker.

well, i see no point of declaring you are not ready to get married here instead of telling her that.

it depends whether you wanna get rid of her or you just need advice on how to say no without losing her 

if you wanna get rid of her then people here provided enough advice, if you dont wanna lose her then just discuss it with her and explain your situation

I feel your anguish. Was in a similar situation last week but more advanced. Everything was ready to go go go.

I ended up getting so moody she noticed something was up - after explaining where I was with it e.g. not entirely happy with the level or quality of communication and more consideration needed using her phone all the time, especially at inappropriate times at home (after work!) for work. 

Basically I slammed on the breaks at the last acceptable minute i.e. no bookings. It's still open and will highly likely happen but not the way it was going to be. It was like being pushed along - 'aww don't worry mommy and daddy will look after that', 'I saw a wonderful ring today', 'is x of this month ok'...

So you're not alone and that's what I did - I was honest and she told me I'm not ready yet. Got some breathing space to work on the relationship and feel 1 million times better for it.