Does the lady herself get any say in this?

I have been in China for many years and I would think many times to marry a chinese girl. Culture is really different, they don,t have the same idea of love , they don,t have religion and education about this matter.

Many chinese marry because of money, family, reputation and if they say love maybe it,s not the same as we understand for this word.

I mean , I don,t know if you really have found the real love and you can do everything for your girlfriend it,s probably the time to the next step.

Good luck but think about it 

When I married my wife, we lived in the US for several years in a mixed neighborhood (White, Asian, Hispanic, Black, etc..).  There was a Chinese super market near by and some of the biggest Chinese neighborhoods in California within a 20 minute drive.

After a while, she couldn't take US life anymore so we packed up and moved to China.  Now after living in China for 6 years, she wants to come back to the US to raise our boys.

Marriage is a game of give and take.  If your bride isn't willing to at least consider living in your country, then I would seriously think about the viability of that relationship.

Great question, Dude, and one that will have to be answered eventually by every foreigner who marries a spouse from another country. If Shakespeare had done the same, the quote might have been, "to live or not to live; "where" is the question?"

Well, maybe not. When I found a Chinese girl, I purposely watched for the "take me to America" statement as an indicator of intent on her part, letting her know that I would be perfectly content to live in China. Finally, after three years, I'm the one who broached the question, "Where would you like to live?" Last year, we did visit my home town for a month, visiting family, friends, etc., and she loved it, and wants to move there. However, we all know that visiting a place is a lot different from the day-to-day living.

There are, of course, many things to consider. Here, in China, she has tremendous guangxi (as she works for the provincial government), her family, friends, and familiar lifestyle built around culture and language. All of that would disappear on foreign shores. She has a teen-aged son from a previous marriage, so the same could be said for him.

In many respects, her desire is for a better life. Clean air and water, environment, safe (er) food and health conditions, a real house, and the ability to give her son better opportunities. All of these things are perfectly reasonable and commendable. However, my concern is for the social aspects that she would be giving up. There would be a period of being homesick, just as I experienced coming to China.

Back in the U.S., I would be working much longer hours, coupled with the fact that I would have to do most of everything for a while, until she got used to the way that things are done. Her English is on a low-intermediate level, and her son's is at a high beginner's level. He would be entering high school, so that whole scene has to be taken into consideration, also.

There are many other aspects of such a move that I won't go into here. What I mentioned are merely the surface considerations. My main concern (as some have pointed out has happen), is that she would get there, and after a year or two, would want to come back to China.

However, one never knows result unless one tries, so probably sometime next year, we will be going back to the U.S. and give it a try. Someone once said, 90% of what we worry about never comes to pass, while the other 10% is unknown. Let it be. I reckon we'll find out when we cross that bridge.

  Culture to me is like a string vest; you can see through it to the person underneath real easy and you can't put it in a sandwich. Honestly, me and my wife (she's the Chinese one) just clicked from day one. I don't notice this massive thing called culture that stands between us, even though we've both lived our entire lives on opposite sides of the world. We've got a young child and for the time being we're going to stay here. I don't think of myself as integrating into anything though. When our kid is old enough for middle school I think we'll leave, but I won't say to my wife "C'mon, time for you to go integrate," we'll just go there. Xpat John said it though, if you're not both willing to make concessions for each other, there's maybe something amiss within the relationship. Pgonzalez said it too but I didn't take any notice because he was mostly talking bollocks.

As a fellow British Columbian I can tell you it's far better to bring her to Canada. She can get all the Chinese shit she wants and you can get all the western culture you want, it's very much a middle point in Vancouver. 

Christ, she thinks the Chinese restaurants here are better than anything she had back in China. Plus there's Asian supermarkets that are the size of a carrefour. It's like having a western safeway in Beijing. That's how much easier it is to be Chinese in Vancouver Vrs. Being Canadian in China. 

I brought my wife to my home country (Denmark) for 3 months to finish up my work.

After that we moved to United Arab Emirates because we both wanted to life abroad.

Me because I wanted her to live in an English speaking place to improve her English and because I had friends and family here.

Her because she didn't want family pressure for kids.

Here they have a lot of Chinese supermarkets, so we can get whatever we want.

We are planning to move to China or Hong Kong next year, but that is actually me pushing because I hate the lack of nature in this country.

After being in China, we plan to move to my home country when we have kids and they become old enough for school.

Hope living around Richmond Hill, she would not start demanding fancy cars and houses like those Rich Chinese living there...it is a Sunday joke..

Mine clearly denied to go to Canada and I refused her proposal to live here along with her parents for my whole life...

Good that we break up before taking any serious decision (with known and unknown reasons)....

Anyway, hope you will have wise decision and GOOD LUCK!!!

We married almost six years ago and my wife came to live with me in a small town in England. At first she had the usual preconceptions, you know what Ia m talking about, all westerners are rich, life is wonderful and everything is perfect. She made some Chinese friends and we stayed for about four and a half years. At the end of that time she had changed her views about England from the land of milk and honey to just ok. We have been back in China now for fourteen months and there are still aspects of UK life she wishes were here. The other day we were in Walmart and they had made a cock-up of the pricing on one item and the till showed it much more expensive. She then ripped into them by saying how it would have been dealt with in England and instead of the staff here treating their customers with indifference they should learn to offer some real levels of service. The answer of course was just more indifference. Overall though she is happier to be back here and I must admit so am I. Any mixed culture marriage has to have a generous amount of give and take from both sides and a willingness some times to step out side of our own comfort zones. I think for Chinese that is harder to do than for us and so we should be prepared to give that little bit more. As always communication is essential, if you cannot communicate at a good enough level you are on your way to problems. As we say nowhere is perfect but some places are definitely better than others.

I did both

I got married in China sorted her visa out (first time too!) then took her back to the UK. Lived in two places in the UK without any Chinese populations to talk about for 7 years then moved back to China.

When we were in the UK we would go to Chinese superrmarkets in Birmingham or London twice a month so she could get some foodstuffs she liked (mainly vegetables).

I never married my girl friend. I'm home now and tried for a visa for her. I knew it would probably get turned down, which is F** ridiculous. We agreed that she should see Canada and then decide if we wanted to be together and where. After being in China and me looking at her life, I'd hate to take her away from all her friends and connections unless she wanted it so. I think I'm more adaptable than a Chinese. You can take a fish out of water...

 I liked being in China, but I have a much better standard of life in Canada, even tho I can live much cheaper in China. I pay more for property taxes alone in Canada than I paid for living in China.