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Q: Student tells a teacher she missed him. What's that mean?
The student was away traveling for a month and came back today. She told my buddy that she missed him while she was away. We thought it peculiar that she said it specifically to him and not both of us. She's 18 or so and fairly pretty. It's a well-known that he's her favorite. Does she like him or are we just reading too deep into it?
10 years 46 weeks ago in Relationships - China
your buddy should not get involved with the student AT ALL. He should make it clear to the student. He it there as a teacher. seriously, how many times should foreign teachers be told this?
Haha. Its the student-teacher authority thing. He's 50% of the problem and needs to cease his act.
I'm sure by your description that she does like him.
That should then be a clear sign that he should keep his distance and remain professional.
Someone who wants to take advantage of a teenage student should be looking for another form of employment.
nicholasba:
thats pretty common in china between chinese actually. Teacher who drills his student. I have read plenty of news about it and witness it with my eyes!
maggiegirly:
let me show you my experience,
I said that to my teacher too when I was a teenage girl ,No doubt,Hes my favorite teacher.Did I like or love him more than a teacher at that time? A absolutely No.
He's just a very good teacher.That's all.
If she says" I miss you" to you often,then I'd say,probably she likes you. Keep a distance between you and her or simply tell her,You are married.
Otherwise,Don't be cold to your students as it will hurt her feelings.
It's so clear that the girl has a thing for your buddy..
Getting involved with a student is just asking for trouble. The Chinese will use any excuse whatsoever to attack a foreigner.
irvine: you are dead wrong
I ve been told by my students many times that they miss me. it is not really the same. because it could mean thought about. he could be a very good teacher, and she thought about some of the things he taught her. some of my students told me they loved me, but i didn't take that as an invitation. they were very happy to have me as a teacher.
Mr_Sausage:
I agree with crimo...I think you are trying to look too deeply into something that was said in a passing sentence.
Sounds like your out for a witch hunt to me.
IrvineWelsh:
I ain't out for no witch hunt oldboy- maybe a beast hunt but that's a different kettle of fish.
All I'm saying is the guy should keep his distance if the girl has a has a sweet spot for him.
Girls will have teenage crushes but the nature of being a teacher is that you should be prepared and aware of this and ready to back off and discourage her from pursuing.
If the girls just misses her favourite teacher then nothing wrong with that. But then if that was the case why would the question have been posted in the first place?
It's hard to judge what somebody says if you don't know how the relationship was before this. YOu would know more than anybody on here because you know both of the people involved....
frankbenedix:
@TedD, it is because of the context dude. We are not there, we do not see how they interact normally.
I am pretty sure she and her friends do the same thing you and your buddy to her. Sit around and talk about you guys. Maybe she likes him, maybe she thinks he likes her and does that for attention. She wants attention from him, maybe he is cute to her, nice to her or just gives her attention easily. Whatever the reason is for attention blah blah blah. But, DON'T S%*T WHERE YOU EAT!
I remember a English teacher I became friends with when I was in hangzhou for a few days. He said that many girls approach him for his QQ number, email, and phone number. But he never gave them out. So students started reporting him to the administration because he was "disconnected" from the students. Then he told me they fired him because he was stressing and causing the students grief. So now he is going to another city where he has a buddy to hook him up. What he told me in his advice is. Be stern with them, domt let them like you because they will get you in trouble. Teach them what they need to know, be available for the minimum office hours and don't be nice. They dream too much about the foreigner on the horse. And my friend was too nice, he wanted "approval rating I guess" that's why I don't like teaching.
sorrel:
Foreign teachers can be in a 'no-win' situation. If you are professional and draw the line at becoming 'friends' with your students, you are accused of being unfriendly, despite the fact that this is how many Chinese teachers behave. if you are too friendly, you potentially leave yourself open to false accusations. In the school I just left, a senior staff member accused me of being 'unfriendly' to the students, despite the fact that I spent a lot of time after class with the students who asked for extra help. I responded by saying that I was there in the capacity of a teacher, not to be the hand-holding foreign friend: and this was after some of the girls would phone me late at night when I was asleep. So for me, I am a teacher first. it is the safest. EDIT: often many Chinese people mistake normal friendliness for something more.
I agree with Crimo, you guys think too much.
when I was in the university,We said that to our teachers too especially one of our American teacher ,he's so nice,good looking and funny.thats it.
and he gave us his Email address too.
We really had a good time with him.
Did we love or like him more than a teacher at that time? NO
we liked him CAUSE HE'S A VERY GOOD TEACHER.That's all.
This is China - the land of meaningless platitudes. Everyone misses me each time I go shopping.
It means the examinations are just around the corner so she needs to do a bit of sucking up to teacher. 
I miss you / i missed you , seems to be something they like to write in text messages a lot . I had loads of girls say that , my students too . I just always assume its just friendliness , And a way of being polite . like ," hey , nice to see you again " Don't read too much into it , and for the love of god do not hit on these young girls . Is not funny or clever . Its creepy . Most 18 year olds here have the same mentality as a 12 year old back home .
Many friends have told me that. Specially girls, seems to be a common way for them to express some feeling but I dont think there was anything else than that. But who knows, chinese are so complex to understand, ur friend must have to evaluate some facts to know if she's in to him.
