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Q: What are your experiences of getting health checks here?
Mine vary from the most basic "Stand up. Sit down. You're fine" to the most thorough examinations conceivable. And these vary from the very professional to the very creepy. One time I had the testicle check and I could swear the guy batted his eyes at me. And afterwards the same dude gave my old fella a swab, then strolled over to the other side of the room halfway through and started leafing through a magazine, leaving me standing there looking like a novelty pencil-sharpener. And I must have had 5 or 6 of these tests in the eight years i've been here. Surely one every three years or so should suffice. Had one just last week and when I went the next day to pick up the results they told me I had a blood problem and they had to do further tests. Came back the next day after 24 hours of worry and a canceled trip to my wife's hometown, only to be told I was absolutely fine! No pardon me or a reimbursement on the wasted train ticket, just a here you are and off you f**k. I'm sure it was all because when I handed over the little plastic shot glass with my urine sample in it, I said "Gan bei!" People can't take a bleedin' joke. Miserable b*****ds.
The first health check I had in China, the girl measuring my height had a meltdown when she realized the wall mounted measuring device ended at 185cm. She had to ask, "are you taller than 185?" not sure why as I could rest my chin on the thing sticking out from the wall, a bit redundant to ask. It wasn't a particularly thorough health check.
A second health check we caught the doc just before the end of his work day, he just filled the forms saying I was healthy without looking at me until at the very end when he looked up as I passed him the cash for his services.
The most thorough health check I've had was the first time I applied for a residence permit based on marriage. Blood tests, ECG, even an ultrasound. The person doing the ultrasound failed to see the humor in me asking if the baby was OK in there, I had a bit of a beerbelly at the time. Turns out it was just gas.
The overall impression is that it is a waste of time. The health checks and the results are pprobably OK. The way it is orchestrated is just bullocks. You go through the diferent checks witha piece of paper in hand, and you are constantly going from line to line, waiting for the next test.
If I compare to how that is done back home. In China I have to set aside a day to have the test done, and half a day to get the result. Back home I could get an appointment, have the tests done in 30 mins or so, and be back at work only wasting a couple of hours. The results would not need to be picked up as they would be added to an electronic system from where whoever needs the results could pull them. The tests done back home are more detailed, e.g. a blood sample yields more data, not sure if it is needed or not. STDs can be tested without poking the one eyed snake, the x-ray equipment is from this millennia meaning the dose of radiation is less and the person operating it has enough of a sense of humor to say "Say Cheese" when taking a lung x-ray.
The Chinese clinics are, like most things in China, just people doing minimum effort to get through the day. They have the enthusiasm and care that seems to be just the right amount needed for putting Barbie dolls in boxes.
Scandinavian:
Unpossible. It can't not be well written. I am not native Englishman.
CARLGODWIN1983:
What ist dis ting?
You dissing me bruv?
Don't diss me. Respec bruv. Otterwise I will shank you bruv, in it?
Me da big boy gangsta.
Blood, piss and radiation before ten in the morning. A wonderful way to start the day.
mArtiAn:
And that is why I only drink 'Maotai Rice Wine'. Is there blood in 'your' piss? Then you've been drinking 'Maotai Rice Wine'. Mmmmm.
mike168229:
I was thinking of replacing it with some liquid of a different colour, just to mess with them.
