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Sign up with Google Sign up with FacebookQ: What do Chinese girls value more?
Love or money?
And as for a percentage...how does it compare to back west?
12 years 4 days ago in Relationships - China
I'm going to have say neither, but maybe both. We're men, we have never understood women since Adam and Eve. Eve did the one thing she was told not to. I think a smaller number of women I've met are money hungry altho nice gifts seem to be loved. Love, my experience is they are less affectionate, I could be wrong. I'm not talking about sex. Some women seen to form attachments too easily while I haven't noticed any very deep feelings, maybe it's just me, but my clinical testing isn't complete. I'll get back to you later.
TedDBayer:
I thought about it's MONEY, I've heard, been asked for too many times,one two three monies, munchies, monkeys, a Chinese version of show me the money.
I'm gonna vote money. How many rich guys in China are single and can't find a lover or 3? Yep...
This is a good question, but hard to answer. And that is because one, I am not Chinese and have no idea what's in their minds, and second, I am bias due to my Western life and experience.
Maybe I should start by saying that their concept of "love" and "money" is totally different from ours. And in the love case, the way to express that feeling, and to communicate it with words, actions, special gestures (as we are used to) is minimal. In fact, once a Lady told me she will say once that she loved me, and once I knew that, no need to repeat it every day. It is my opinion that if we use what we think "love" and "money" (greed??) means, we will arrive to wrong conclusions.
i will further explain my point with another example. Recently, a good friend (Chinese female) pointed out at me during a dinner conversation that if she found one foreigner who would respect her, treat her nicely, and offer her financial security, she would not hesitate to live with him. No need for marriage. Now, to a normal Western mind, that expression will normally be a shocking one, and will create misunderstandings. It would be normal to assume that she is more interested in money than in love. But to a Chinese mind, it is a practical solution for many years of a life full of hard work and lacking of many essential things because there is not enough money. For them, a perfectly normal solution.
I do feel that if we place both ways of thinking into a blender, the result will be that Chinese Ladies do look for financial security first, and eventually love will grow roots if treated nicely. And a lot of communication back and forth will be required to achieve a happy medium. And again, this happens because out different way of thinking, all the way from sex to the simplest act in life together.
I thought I would really like to understand how Chinese women think...then I noticed I didn't understand how all other women think, so...just gave up and stop thinking about it. If Freud couldn't make it, for sure I will not understand them. Women, who knows!
Money. Of course, most would like both. But I'm going to say 75% will go with money for the most part.
Very few would marry for love alone or even 'mostly love'.
it might be one of life's great mysteries (or logical conclusions?) but I believe sociologists from around the world will remain intrigued with the PRC and how, from communism and poverty we so quickly have found the most 'cash-driven' status-seeking, wealth-hunting peoples on Earth.
I would almost dare to suggest that the poorer the woman's family and status - the MORE infatuated and wealth-driven she will be.
People always ask me this question, " are you from shanghai?" "no, i study here, i'm from north". Then they will blah blah how materialistic shanghai girls are.... But I have female friends from shanghai and they are not like that.
I understand,many girls are materialistic. So people generalize people and that's what we do.
I value personality above all.
Life is short, I wanna spend my lifetime with my soul mate, someone who is kind-hearted, knows how to treat people. He and I will stay bff, both work hard, always watch out for each other, got each other's back, and make each other stronger, a better person.
I believe I can do anything I want in my life and I will. I will always have faith in myself.
Life is short , I don't wanna die with regrets and shame.
LAR:
Bonita,
You made a lot of wise comments. :) I agree. "But I have female friends from Shanghai and they are not like that." Oh, it's so good to hear that! I recently read a posting where it was mentioned that 85% of the women in Shanghai are materialistic. A bit discouraging to be sure.
emilychen:
totally agreed with Bonita!
i am from the north,too... i always believe one area raises one area ppl....
I'm gonna Vote for MONEY like always , caz i never saw a person who don't like money and Chinese women and girls are no special , they obliviously go for money than love
Victoria1987:
Agreed,but you should say most chinese women go for money than love ,but still have some girls are special.For me love is more important.Money cant buy real love from the bottom of the heart.
:
you are right victoria but i think money can fill your stomach but love can't fill your stomach so you have to think about that too . when you will get married and enter the real life and when you have to get food for your wife and children then you will come to know that love can't fill your belly but money can ,
OMG!!! That's too EASY!!!! Money of course!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LAR:
"knock on your head." FUCK YOU! Don't make such a RUDE,VIOLENT COMMENT!! Learn some manners!!! Learn how to politely disagree with someone!! :( Look at all the other people saying the same "money" answer here!!!!!!!! :( It's no surprise!!!!!!!!!!
what do your guys value mostly anyway ?honestly"!
LAR:
"What do you guys value mostly anyways?" I can't speak for other guys..only myself. Personally, I DO NOT want to go through a divorce. I HATE divorce and I HATE what it has done to my nation..how it's created so many problems for couples,children,families,etc.
Therefore, I want to meet the ONE gal that I love..that is kind,honest,has some backbone,respectful,loyal,patient..of course..I'm a guy..it would be great if she's pretty,faithful,intelligent,if she's lived in the West that would be great!,etc. * Those are the qualities that I value.
Createach:
Love with 'Benefits' at least from us to the other 'Party'....and no one act innocent or pull some angelic bullshit on me and tell me 'love'....you all know it and fuck you if you tell me you never had that experience...some never had it but........ .they 'Chinese People' stereotype foreign guys as 'Playboys'.and i can stereotype Chinese girls as 'Gold diggers'............hate me and call me an asshole
I have experience in this useful word to me, not money not honey
money?!!!....iPhones?!!!!!!!........designer clothes?!!!!!!!!............ .house and a car?!!!!!!!.........triple black MasterCard or a fat bank account?!!!!!!!!........you pick
.......or maybe that's not true.............chinese girls really love us just for the 'Pure Love'......LOL
Love with 'Benefits' at least from us to the other 'Party'....and no one act innocent or pull some angelic bullshit on me and tell me 'love'....you all know it and fuck you if you tell me you never had that experience...some never had it but........ .they 'Chinese People' stereotype foreign guys as 'Playboys'.and i can stereotype Chinese girls as 'Gold diggers'............hate me and call me an asshole
Createach:
been through a lot......that's my experience.....i said what i had........and am now singing 'No woman No cry'.......i think weed did good to Bob Marley.......God Bless
My Chinese GF said finance before romance, but I fined just a little finance gives you a lot of romance.
jknox00:
I'm told that one can find a lot of escorts or just 'good time girls' if you want to throw just a little cash on a good restaurant, a few gifts, a nightclub and then a reasonably decent hotel.
Good post, Happy Expat. I agree with most of what you write. Where you say 'Chinese women', I would say, 'women'. I think that every woman and maybe every man wants security in their lives. They want financial security and emotional security. A Chinese woman has seen what a lack of financial security can do to a marriage or a family so their focus in the initial stages of a relationship may be on money. Their need and desire for financial stability is transparent. A western woman or man has the same needs but chances are that those needs have already been met or handled by themselves before the relationship starts. So, maybe a Chinese woman is more dependent on their husbands than a western woman.
and then they think mariage as an achievement!
now! achievement of what? only women know.
(strange creatures but i love them)