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Q: What's the best way to tell your Chinese GF it's over?
Is QQ acceptable? How about SMS? Voicemail?
A very public place to avoid a scene?
I have nightmares about her stalking me. Should I just have her come over when I am with another girl to make her so pissed off she ends it with me? I have doubts that this would even work.
Any creative ideas? I need an escape.
12 years 46 weeks ago in Relationships - China
1st,ignore her,if she asks you why ignore her? then tell her that you are busy.
2nd,after she gets too angry or sad,then tell her gentlely that you could not give her a good future as she expects.
3rd,if she really loves you,and she really wants you,then tell her bread is more important than love,tell her you cannot buy her a house for her because no body knows the future.
4th,if she cries.then tell her dont cry baby,i will love you and be with you, but you need to think about your future carefully.
in the end, hold her tightly and kiss her softly. And say: good luck for you baby.
---all of these better done in a quiet and romantic place. And don't hurt her and use rude tone,otherwise, she will think something bad…and the result will be horrible…
Anyways, since you want to leave that chinese girl, there must be some critical reasons, so you know how to do in your situation.
Aboved are only for suggestions. I guess the chinese girls who date with the foreigners are not that stupid to understand his intension.
p.s. : if the 3rd & 4th change into : ” honey, because you cannot buy me a house and you cannot marry me now” . then it would be my answer for the question “ how to tell your foreign BF it is over ” 
You know her better than any of us, whatever you do will have to be based on that knowledge to be sure the end result is susccesful and painless.
I, because of the way I am, will face the situation and state the truth, this is not working, and I feel it should end because of ................
Now, if she is the aggressive type, do it at a public place. If she is quiet then do it in private. But be prepared to run at any time, please,and do change the door locks at the front door of your apartmen pretty darn quick.
thedude:
I already tried once before I came home for the holidays but she wouldn't let me (she's nuts). Problem is I have spent the past year living out of hotels, and when I get back to China in 2 weeks I am renting a proper apartment for the first time. She is expecting to move in with me, and I am terrified of this....so it's now or never.
crimochina:
tell her now tell her you have another gf but tell her now by text message
make sure you tell us how it went. I love a good attempted manslaughter story!
Does she know where your apartment is? Don't tell her. If she knows... choose a different apartment.
thedude:
No she doesn't. We were supposed to look together when I got back, but now I have other people looking for the right place for me before I return. This I will keep a secret.
I've seen some crazy scenes here (i.e. yelling/crying fits in Starbucks, girls screaming in the street in full on tantrum mode...) Ladies here don't really deal with breakup well or take no for an answer. Best that you not tell her where your new place is and meet her and just run away. I can't imagine what the hell is going on some of these girls head that they go ape shit and embarras themselves. I'm really surprise and scared of the stalkers. 2 of my friends have had ex's chase away new girls.
There a difference between determination and f'n psycho.
I wish you luck!!!!
Take her to a KTV party (with lots and lots of people), tell her, "this one's for you," and then sing "I Don't Care Anymore" by Phil Collins (providing it's available). Then, run.
After that, you're on your own.
LAR:
Too funny glad!!!!! Ha ha ha ha :) I haven't heard Phil sing in a long time! If I remember correctly, Phil's daughter is gorgeous! ^^
you could tell her that you got an STD while back at home... she might break up with you and your herpes on her own accord
Just meet her face-to-face over coffee, explain your reasons, pay the bill and leave.
Be prepared for crying, pleas of "I will do better", etc... If she doesn't collect herself in short order then pay the bill and leave.
If needed, be ready to change your phone number and place of work if she happens to know them. And stay away from common haunts for at least a couple of months.
Tell her while you where home your family needed money so you gave it all to them,this is going to be an on going thing for the next few years and will limit your chance of a proper relationship, so for her good you have to let her go.
deefoe:
hahhahhahahaha is this in the vein of "its not you, its me..." infamous best/worst breakup lines?
thedude:
One of George's best lines. I thought of using it, but I know it wouldn't work. However if I say I am broke and she will have to support me...that would be interesting!
deefoe:
you better be careful...crazy is crazy whether in sugar momma form or not. btw, i used this line to a guy that thought me being 'barefoot n' pregnant' was god sent for me. i told him "its not you, its me...cause I DON'T WANT THAT" He thought that was the beginning of negotiations...
If she doesn't know where your apartment is then just break up with her. Does she know where you work? If so, she might come to work and start some drama. Seen it several times before. Doing it by text might seem cold but it's guaranteed to spare you a merciless beating.
thedude:
Actually she does know, although she has never been there, so this is a concern. And I can't change jobs as my company uses this factory and that's why I am in China. But, it is gated with security guards, so I might be ok.
Well, don't follow any of the funny ways to get rid of her. You don't want to piss her off more, do you? My question is, why didn't you break it off sooner. Like...much sooner? Now it's a little late for that, so you'll have to put up with whatever she decides to do. Don't say you didn't know this could happen. Try your best to keep her calm, maybe find her a new boyfriend?
1) Slip out the back.
2) Make a new plan.
3) Tell her you can't affoard an iPad.
There are some others but I forget.
Shining_brow:
Hop off the bus. Drop off the key (oh... you didn't give her one...)
You can pay me to do it for you, I am cheap and effective. She would never be the same once I finish with her but I can asure you she would be out of your life.
LAR:
Right on freak! Muh boy! I'm witcha bro. I'll second you! I'm a stone-cold M**********r! It'll be short,direct and blunt! BOOM! OVER! Yeah boyee,
do not do it in public!!!!!!!!!!!! she will cry and you will have to sit there with her for 30 -60 mins until she finishes all the while people are stopping by to stare at you 2, beggars will come up to you and ask for money. send a text, but you may have to break up with her twice. every girl seem to beg you to take them back until you say yes the first time. the 2nd time they say ok
Shining_brow:
30-60mins??? What happened to walking away after 5 mins?
GuilinRaf:
It is hard to walk away when she has you in a "full nelson" bawling her eyes out while screaming that she will kill herself and jump from a bridge...
crimochina:
i didnt want to be rude i kept thinking maybe she will stop crying now..... ok maybe now.... ok maybe the next minute... ok she's stoppi... damn... maybe the next 5 mins...
LAR:
"beggars will come up to you asking for money"...Ha ha ha..too funny crimo!!! lol lol. Yuck yuck!!!!! I could just see it..before you know it there's a whole entourage of people getting involved..what a scene!!!! ha ha ha!!!!!. (Like something out of a movie. :))
Well this is something that you seem to have known you would have to do for awhile now, and you waited this long to ask us for help?... for shame.
The only way to get rid of crazy is to make it her idea to end the relationship. And this normally takes time. Depending on how well you actually know her, you should have I an idea on the specific details you'll have to do to make her want to find another guy and dump you. The trick is to not push it too quickly, or she fill catch on to your plan and then it becomes even worse for you.
thedude:
I agree, this is probably the best solution. Problem is I am a nice guy, so I can't be an asshole to her. Maybe I need to be really annoying and way too needy. ;)
If you have been with her for 1 Year,explain the first 10 were great,but over the last 2 months things have changed you not her,tell her you will always look back with fond thoughts,but your gay and have fell in love with a triad
What's it worth to you? I'll come steal her away from you. Hey another great idea, I could get a job as a breakup artist !!
tell her you demand a 3some or else you will call it quits
thedude:
Actually this thought did cross my mind and my post about threesomes a month ago was mostly a joke, but also I was thinking this might be a solution.
Shining_brow:
And when she accepts??? (unless, you say "I want a 3-some... but no girls".
Why not just disappear?
My ex disappeared and I thought he was dead.
He called this morning and said he still loves me. He thought I would crazily find out him all over the world while I even didn't send him a msg for merry christmas, he was disappointed.
So just disappear and your girl will think you are dead and she will move on ASAP.
Localla:
so far, this is the best answer to the question....Thedude....is she your gf?....ahh
Since many here are suggesting you lie, then do it well! Tell her you got someone pregnant, and she's coming to live with you.
Or, tell her that your parents don't approve of her, and have told you to break it up with her - that's she's not good enough for you.
Alternatively, you could be honest, and say "It's not me, it's you". (more honest is "This isn't working for me, and I think it's best we went our separate ways so that we can both find happiness with someone better suited to our needs and desires".
You havnt got the balls to tell her to her face,what kind of man ..no boy are you
GuilinRaf:
obviously you have not seen the temper of the Chinese lady.....
"A very public place to avoid a scene?"
???! You DO live here, right?
thedude:
As opposed to in private where she went nuts, and I had to back down last time. I have no idea how she would react in public.
GuilinRaf:
I think that in a public place is best for the following reasons: a) She may be more careful how she acts with so many witnesses. b) If she does go ape-shit, well maybe we can later on see the video on ChinaSMACK...;-P
