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Q: Why are they being so weird with me
So I finally decided not to renew my contract at the company I work for as it is really time for a change yet there seems to be a weird vibe from most of the staff. The job itself has been really good for me despite many challenges such as daily discrimination, sexism, lying, cheating workplace bullying etc you know the norms of being the only female foreign teacher in a school while the rest of the hundreds of staff are Chinese.
Anyway word is out that I have a few months left at school and I assumed a majority of the teachers would very happy as most of the time all I have heard is ‘we want a white teacher next time’ ‘how can you be native when your dark skinned’ ‘your accent is not like a white person’ blah blah blah but I sense that staff seem almost pissed off that I am leaving. The senior management department who I have closely worked with are genuinely sad and I can see they are upset but the rest who are a miserable bunch of 20ish something’s spoilt brats seem annoyed that the scapegoat is going back to the western world.
Has anyone else experienced this as it is so peculiar, the teachers in their mid to late 20’s are giving me the cold shoulder yet weeks ago we were all getting on great while those in their 30s seems upset and don’t want me to go. I am certainly not going to leave on a negative but what is with the weirdness, is it envy, sadness has anyone else been through this as I am tempted to take in a bottle of champagne to work and celebrate my exit just to see there reaction.
In my experience Chinese people often behave like that once they realize they wont have any use for you soon. They somehow go into detach mode.
Everything is about time in China, that's why one of the first questions a Chinese person will ask you, is: "how long have you been in China?" or "how long will you be in China?" when they get your answer then their minds start calculating in typical Chinese fashion, how or what they will gain from you.
Now that they know that you will be moving on, they are detaching themselves from you...hence this vibe that you are getting....
Your post is interesting though, because here we have it, not all foreign teachers are white. They grew to respect your style because you are probably good at what you do, but they wont admit it...never admit if they are are wrong, they dont want to lose face
ScotsAlan:
I pretty much agree. Yangism at it's best.
They have nothing more to gain from you, so why invest the time and effort. The older ones are maybe sad to see you go because they are on the kickback scheme, the younger ones are not.
In my experience Chinese people often behave like that once they realize they wont have any use for you soon. They somehow go into detach mode.
Everything is about time in China, that's why one of the first questions a Chinese person will ask you, is: "how long have you been in China?" or "how long will you be in China?" when they get your answer then their minds start calculating in typical Chinese fashion, how or what they will gain from you.
Now that they know that you will be moving on, they are detaching themselves from you...hence this vibe that you are getting....
Your post is interesting though, because here we have it, not all foreign teachers are white. They grew to respect your style because you are probably good at what you do, but they wont admit it...never admit if they are are wrong, they dont want to lose face
ScotsAlan:
I pretty much agree. Yangism at it's best.
They have nothing more to gain from you, so why invest the time and effort. The older ones are maybe sad to see you go because they are on the kickback scheme, the younger ones are not.
They are losers who envy you. I envy you too because you're going back to the western world, ie civilisation, before me.
The difference is that I admit it, and I'm sure if it came to socializing, all of our interactions would be natural, sincere and spontaneous.
This is Chinese "culture", or lack thereof.
It is a slave culture of bullying and sycophancy in the blind pursuit of money, a suit, a car at the expense of honesty, self respect, integrity, ethics, kindness, openness and generosity among others.
Make sure you talk about Mao on your last day. Look all of the students dead in the eye and mention his treatment of his "comrades" in Yanan, the five million people his party executed throughout the rural areas of China between 1949 and 1952, the hundred flowers movement and subsequent anti-rightists campaign, the great leap forward, Lin Biao and the gang of four and then finally describe Deng Xiaoping's policies in comparison, making sure you draw out the most damning juxtapositions possible to ensure all of their beliefs are completely and utterly refuted. Make unflattering comparison with what the Japanese did to what the communists did.
This is what they're scared of. You have no stake in the place anymore. They have no power over you.
I so envy you.
Thank you so much for the insight it seems to make so much sense to me now as I was completely baffled by the way people at work have been behaving and to be honest it has upset me. When I look back I started as a non paid intern and worked my way up to become a teacher trainer without any kickbacks or bribes of any kind just good old fashioned hard work and as a non white person my experience has been harder because there always has been someone discriminating and telling everyone else that I cannot teach, but actions speak louder than words.
I am trying to remain as civil and professional as possible and will leave on a positive note but I think the true colours of some people are coming out. Every Friday for the last few years a large group of us from school go out for dinner and we have never missed not going out on a Friday evening but yesterday you guessed it the ‘group’ went out without me. Not to make a sob story of it but I was photocopying worksheets and told them to wait a few minutes and by the time I got back to the office no one was there except for a note on my desk stating ‘See you on Monday’. Perhaps the mean girls are now coming out and I do feel naïve and stupid but will just continue to do what I do best without breaking down as I have come this far, so wish me luck I am going to need it.
Schoolyard bullying by adults. Pay no attention to their behaiour, or them for that matter. You're off to greener pastures.
I'm a white male, and when I announced my departure, I got a release letter stating I was always welcome to return. The staff has not behaved differently towards me. My school isn't the greatest, but everyone's experience is different.
I agree with Iron12 comment, but I am going to share a recent experience with you.
few weeks ago, there was a British guy (white dude) resigned from the company I work for, A proper resignation with a month notice and formalities... I must say genuinely a nice guy - when everyone found out that he is resigning, the aura suddenly changed, people stopped liking his pictures on we chat (well, before the news broke out he used to get 10ppl liking his pictures within first 5 mins of upload - I don't know if it matters but Anyways), people stopped going out to lunch with him and basically stop hanging out with him "in public"...
BUT!! it turned out to be just for show, everyone wanted to hangout with him but did not wanted to spoil the relationship with senior management (they somehow presumed that he is leaving so it's not wise to be seen with him in public).. how I know this? - he told me everyone chats and keeps in touch almost EVERYDAY, including the senior management, also after a month of his resignation he was invited to a company's team building activity (outdoor BBQ) which none of sr management attended.....
Complex bunch of people!
Iron12:
I know a white guy as well[British]. He went from being golden boy to being treated like a villain, just because he announced that he was moving on. He suffered a lot of psychological abuse and they even docked his last salary. The school lost a lot of students because he was leaving...i think it also boils down to that
